a beautiful place

On Activism (Philippine Christian University - Manila)

2010-02-16T10:54:00.004+08:00

Activism

"Activism, in a general sense, can be described as intentional action to bring about social, political, economic, or environmental change. This action is in support of, or opposition to, one side of an often controversial argument.

The word "activism" is often used synonymously with protest or dissent, but activism can stem from any number of political orientations and take a wide range of forms from writing letters to newspapers or politicians, political campaigning, economic activism such as boycotts or preferentially patronizing businesses, rallies, street marches, strikes, both work stoppages and hunger strikes, or even guerrilla tactics."

(Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Activism)

Misconceptions

It has been said more than a few times that political activists are nothing but nuisance. ?some say they clog up the streets or that they were paid by a political rival to oppose another politician.

Well, let's clear that up. There are three kinds of activists, in my view, in the Philippine scene. One is "mobocracy" (in contrast to democracy, that the view of the majority, here it takes the view of the mob); the ones that blame a politician for their strife. They blame the person and only the person (even though it is the system that corrupts the person). They are the ones who usually pay people to join their rallies. They reach in great numbers but their purpose and/or principles are usually a blur, even to themselves. They are the ones that are closest to the word nuisance.

Second; there are the extremists. These are the ones who agitate the people for a revolution. They want a civil war yet their reason for it is not quite clear. They understand their purpose but fail to impart that view to the masses. These are the ones who either crave power or just wants to see the world burn.

And third; there are the activists who are filled with theories and applies those theories. They also impart those theories to the masses. They take these principles from philosopher-socialists who have proven themselves times over. These theories have been tested and proven all over the world; lessons learned from history are taken in part.

The third kind of activists arouse the masses political awareness, organize the masses to take action against oppression, corruption, destruction, injustice and mobilize them towards social, political, economic and environmental change.

(Let us call the third kind of activists "the movement" for this essay)

The movement teaches the masses all their views of a better world, all the theories and lessons how to get there in an alternative school they cal PaDePa or Pambasnsang Demokratikong Paaralan (National Democratic School). The movement is composed of freedom loving, democracy seeking and justice driven youths as a majority of their numbers. Making a living proof of Jose Rizal's statement that the youth is the hope of the motherland.

Yet some say that we are too young. Well, "say not 'I am too young.' to whomever I send you, you shall go; what ever I command you, you shall speak. Have no fear before them, because I am with you to deliver you says the Lord." (Jeremiah 1:7-8)

We should not leave the politics to the politicians. We are the future of this world and whatever they sow, The youth will reap. The youth, the movement should takes part on politics because if the youth does not then there will be no hope for the country.

The decaying system

The movement takes legal ways to bring forth change, yet the government ignores their petition and even discards them. Most of the government officials do not want change because the system feeds their greed for land, wealth and power (to the point that they oppress the poor). So the movement takes to the streets and filling it with their cries for social justice. "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy." (Proverbs 31:8-9) Fighting for the rights of the oppressed. "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." (Psalm 82:3-4) To set the captives free "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, 19to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (Luke 4:18-19) To free all from the oppressive and decaying system and oppressive government.

"Woe to the shepherds of Israel who only take care of themselves! Should not shepherds take care of the flock? You eat the curds, clothe yourselves with the wool and slaughter the choice animals, but you do not take care of the flock. You have not strengthened the weak or healed the sick or bound up the injured. You have not brought back the strays or searched for the lost. You have ruled them harshly and brutally. So they were scattered because there was no shepherd, and when they were scattered they became food for all the wild animals. My sheep wandered over all the mountains and on every high hill. They were scattered over the whole earth, and no one searched or looked for them.

" 'Therefore, you shepherds, hear the word of the LORD : As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, because my flock lacks a shepherd and so has been plundered and has become food for all the wild animals, and because my shepherds did not search for my flock but cared for themselves rather than for my flock, therefore, O shepherds, hear the word of the LORD : This is what the Sovereign LORD says: I am against the shepherds and will hold them accountable for my flock. I will remove them from tending the flock so that the shepherds can no longer feed themselves. I will rescue my flock from their mouths, and it will no longer be food for them." (Ezekiel 34:2-10)

A system of the oppressive government filled with people of lies.

"This is what the LORD says:
"As for the prophets
who lead my people astray,
if one feeds them,
they proclaim 'peace';
if he does not,
they prepare to wage war against him.

"Therefore night will come over you, without visions,
and darkness, without divination.
The sun will set for the prophets,
and the day will go dark for them.

"The seers will be ashamed
and the diviners disgraced.
They will all cover their faces
because there is no answer from God."

"But as for me, I am filled with power,
with the Spirit of the LORD,
and with justice and might,
to declare to Jacob his transgression,
to Israel his sin.

"Hear this, you leaders of the house of Jacob,
you rulers of the house of Israel,
who despise justice
and distort all that is right;

"who build Zion with bloodshed,
and Jerusalem with wickedness.

"Her leaders judge for a bribe,
her priests teach for a price,
and her prophets tell fortunes for money.
Yet they lean upon the LORD and say,
"Is not the LORD among us?
No disaster will come upon us."

"Therefore because of you,
Zion will be plowed like a field,
Jerusalem will become a heap of rubble,
the temple hill a mound overgrown with thickets."
(Micah 3:5-12)

The Ideal System

The movement is Fighting the system. They aim to bring forth a new and better world.

"Behold, I will create
new heavens and a new earth.
The former things will not be remembered,
nor will they come to mind.
But be glad and rejoice forever
in what I will create,
for I will create Jerusalem to be a delight
and its people a joy.

I will rejoice over Jerusalem
and take delight in my people;
the sound of weeping and of crying
will be heard in it no more.

"Never again will there be in it
an infant who lives but a few days,
or an old man who does not live out his years;
he who dies at a hundred
will be thought a mere youth;
he who fails to reach [a] a hundred
will be considered accursed.

They will build houses and dwell in them;
they will plant vineyards and eat their fruit.

No longer will they build houses and others live in them,
or plant and others eat.
For as the days of a tree,
so will be the days of my people;
my chosen ones will long enjoy
the works of their hands.

They will not toil in vain
or bear children doomed to misfortune;
for they will be a people blessed by the LORD,
they and their descendants with them.

Before they call I will answer;
while they are still speaking I will hear.

The wolf and the lamb will feed together,
and the lion will eat straw like the ox,
but dust will be the serpent's food.
They will neither harm nor destroy
on all my holy mountain,"
(Isaiah 65:17-25)

This new world where the system ends all misery.

"However, there should be no poor among you, for in the land the LORD your God is giving you to possess as your inheritance, he will richly bless you," (Deuteronomy 15:4)

They are the activists with integrity. putting the people [learn to do right!Seek justice, encourage the oppressed.Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.(Isaiah 1:17)] and the new world before themselves.

Being Passive

If you have seen what this decaying and oppressive system does to your fellow men, do not turn away. Yes, the Lord said turn the other cheek but not towards your neighbor. Do not think that the movement is fighting for themselves but rather for for your neighbors. Be the light of the world.

bagong taon: bagong rebolusyonaryo!

2010-01-08T12:19:00.000+08:00

Bagong taon: bagong Pag-asa.

Ito ang madalas na bukambibigng mga tao. Dala daw ng bagong taon ay bagong pagsubok na dapat malampasan. Dala daw ng bagong taon ay bagong pag-asa at bagong pagkakataon.
Siguro nga may katotohanan sa mga sinasabi nila. Sa bagong taon ay lilitaw ang bagong suliranin. Ngunit kung titingnan natin ng maigi, kahit sa kalagitnaan ng taon ay may mga bagong pagsubok. Kahit nga noong patapos ang 2009 ay lumitaw ang bagong suliranin.

Ano ito..?

Ang walang awa at walang kabuluhang pagpaslang ng mga tao sa Maguindanao.
Atheto pa: ang paglilinlang ng gobyerno at pagpapabagal ng paghatid ng katarungan sa masaker sa Maguindanao.
At mas mahayop pa sa sahul: nagdeklara ng walang basehan at iligal na martial law ang pekeng presidente na si Gloria Macapagal Arroyo.

At ngayong bagong taon, Huwag tayong umasa na babago ang mga kabulukang ito. Totoo na maybagong suliranin na lilitaw pero lumang-luma na at nabubulok na nga ang ugat na pinanggagalingan nito: ang Sistemang mala-kolonyal at malapyudal na lipunan na pilit na pinananatili ng mga burokrata-Kapitalista at mga gahaman sa lupa at pera.

Lumang sistema ang sanhi ng matagalang pagkakalugmok natin sa kadiliman, karahasan at kahirapan.

Ngunit may bagong pag-asa.

Makakamit lang natin ang bago at masaganang pamumuhay kung matagumpay na mawasak natin ang kadenang nagtatali sa atin sa nabubulok nana sistema.

Pero ano nga ba ang bagong pag-asa?

Hindi 'ano' kundi 'SINO'.

Tayo!

Tayong KABATAAN ay dapat na pag-aralan ang lipunan, tukuyin ang sanhi ng mga paghihirap ng masa at gumawa ng mga tamang hakbang paramapalaya ang sambayanang Pilipino mula sa pang-aapi ng mga naghahring uri.

Tayong KABABAIHAN ay dapat baguhin ang tingin sa sarili at sa proseso ay mabago ang tingin ng iba sa atin. Tukuyin na ang ugat ng mababang pagtinginsa kababaihan ay ang sistemang nabubulok.

Tayong MANGGAGAWA ay dapat malaman ang tamang pamamalakad, tamang pangangalaga sa kapwa.Pag-aralan natin ang lipunan at maging hukbo na magpapalaya ngsambayanan at ng sangkatauhan.

Tayong MAGSASAKA ay dapat alamin ang karapatan, ipaglaban ang kabuhayan at bayan. Alamin na tayo ang puwersa na magpapalaya sa sarili at magbubukas ng isip ng tao sa bulokna lipunan.

Tayong MAG-AARAL ay dapat na matuto sa masa. Huwag tayong magsawang mag-aral ng lipunan, matuto sa masa at magturo ng tamang hakbang sa pagpapalaya ng bayan.

Buksan natin ang ating mga mata at isipan. Alamin natin ang kabulukan ng nag-iiral na sistema. wasakin natin ito at isulong ang bagong sistema na mag-aahon sa atin mula sa putik na ating kinaroroonan.

Ang bagong pag-asa ay: ang mulat; ang pagmulat sa mga nagbubulag-bulagan at nagbibingi-bingihan;
Pagmulat ng sangkatauhan.

At sa pagpula ng silangan, lalaya na ang sambayanan.

sa mga kamag-aral ko sa paaralan ng buhay

2010-01-08T12:14:00.001+08:00

Ikaw ba ay estudyante ng isang unibersidad? May kaya ba ang pamilya mo? Sapat ba ang baon mo sa pangaraw-araw?

Tumaas ang presyo ng langis.
Sino ba ang may kasalanan? Ang mga tsuper ba na may sariling anak na pinagpapaaral? Siyempre hindi. Si mamang tsuper ay nagtaas ng pamasahe dahil tumaas ang presyo ng langis. Eh sino ang may sala? Ang pump boy ba sa gasoline station? Mas lalong hinde, biktima din siya sa araw araw niyang pagcommute papunta ng pinagtratrabahuhan niya.
Ang totoong may sala ay ang gobyerno.
Bakit 'ka mo? Dati ay may kontrol ang gobyerno sa presyo ng langis. Kayang pigilan ng gobyerno kung hinihingi ng mga commuters na babaan ang langis. Eh putik pa sa putik, sira yata ulo ng gobyerno, nagpasa ng oil deregulation law. Patay si Juan. Ngayon kung gusto ng Petron, Shell at Caltex mag oil price hike eh 'di maka-ek ang gobyerno. Sa makatuwid, walang kwenta ang gobyerno! Inaalagaan nila ang mga dayuhang kumpanya ng langis at pinapahirapan ang mga mamamayan na dapat nilang inaalagaan.

Sinabi ng isang kolehiyong manunulat sa akin noon, ang issue daw na ito ay 'di bagay sa Campus Publication dahil di naman apektado ang mga estudyante.
'Di nga ba tayo apektado? Araw-araw, mula lunes hanggang sabado me pasok eh. Kailangang magbyahe. Eh sa pagtaas ng langis tataas ang pamasahe. Therefore I conclude na apektadong apektado ang mga estudyante.

Education.
Sa mga private schools, colleges and universities ay nag baba ng deregulation law. Ibig sabihin ay 'di maka-ek ang gobyerno kung gusto ng unibersidad na magtaas ng tuition fee. O 'di naman kaya ay maningil ng walang kabuluhan na mga bayarin. Muli: Walang kwentang gobyerno!
Tulad ng oil companies, ang mga paaralang ito ay nasa loob ng Pilipinas. Napapasailalim ng pamahalaa ng Pilipinas. Bakit namang binigyan ng independence ang mga 'to? 'Di ba dapat hawak parin sila ng pamahalaan?

Sa buong systema ng edukasyon sa Pilipinas, may buget ang gobyerno para dito. Ang badyet na ito ay 'di umanong mula sa mga buwis na binabayaran ng lahat ng Pilipino. (take note: kahit 'di ka pa 18 at wala ka pang sedula, nagbabayad ka ng buwis sa oras na bumili ka ng kahit na ano, mapa McDo o sari-sari store.) Ang dapat na badyet ay 6 percent ng gross national income (correct me if I'm wrong) Ngunit binawasan ito at ginawang 2 percent. ang binawas ay gagamitin daw umano sa pagbayad ng mga utang ng Pilipinas. Sa dami-daming pera paroo't parito sa mga NBN-ZTE at fertilizer scam, may Euro generals pa, bakit ang edukasyon pa ang binawasan? Kung di ba naman ga*uhan 'to!

Sinabi ng isang kolehiyong manunulat sa akin noon, ang issue daw na ito ay 'di bagay sa Campus Publication dahil di naman apektado ang mga estudyante.
'Di nga ba tayo apektado? Eh edukasyon ang pakay natin sa pag punta sa paaralan.

Sa pamumulita.
Sa korapsyon.
Sa divertion of funds.
Sa illigal abduction ng gobyerno.
Sa 1 milyong piso na hapunan.
Sa mga kabulastugan ng mga politiko.
Sa mga kasinungalingan ng pangulo.
Sa pamamaslang nga mga kabataan at mamamahayag.
Sa criminal neglect ng gobyerno sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo.
Sa mga manlolokong tatakbo bilang pangulo.

Ang bawat estudyante ng kahit na anung unibersidad ay dapat makialam sa mga issue ng Pilipinas.
Ito ang tahanan ng ating lahi, ang lupang sinilangan. Naging Pilipino tayo bago naging estudyante ng PCU. Naging mag-aaral tayo ng Pilipinas simula sa pagkabata hanggang sa huling hininga natin.
Kabataan!
Pag-aralan ninyo ang ating lipunan. Alamin ang tamang mga hakbang. Huwag matakot! Na sa MGA KAMAY NATIN ANG PAGLAYA NG BAYAN MULA SA BULOK NA SISTEMA NA GUSTONG IPANATILI NG MGA TUTANG POLIKO NG ESTADOS UNIDOS.
GUMISING KA KABATAAN!
Ika nga ni Rizal: "ang kabataan ay pag-asa ng bayan."
AT HINDI LALAYA ANG BAYAN KUNG ANG KABATAAN AY WALANG PAKI-ALAM, KIMI, PASIBO AT MAKASARILI!
KUNG WALANG PAKI-ALAM ANG KABATAAN, WALANG PAG-ASA ANG BAYAN!

revolutionary

2009-12-16T16:30:00.002+08:00

Homeward bound -- the student sighs
home at last to her brown eyes
He has learned society's lies
And filled the streets with his cries

But now it's home he longs for
Back to her whom he adores
To whom he started fighting for
Back to her whom he adores

His fist will be forever
Held high, held tight in the air
But he knows he would be never
Be complete without her stare

Complete he will never be
With one but not the other
Still he will fight to be free
For people; his wife; his daughter

He wishes for her to join him
In the fight and share his dream
But even though his fight's not hers
He's thankful for her unheard cheers

One day after all the these fights
He'll have her near all through the nights
And never will he let her go again
In the society for which he gave his pain

-Orville "chubby" Basas

Ama; Ina; Anak

2009-12-16T16:19:00.004+08:00

Anak:
Tanong ng isang bata: "Nasaan na si ama?
Iilang umaga na na hinahanap siya?"
Natututo na ako magsalita at maglaro
May nagawa ba ako kaya't iniwan tayo?

Ina:
Wala kang kasalanan at 'di tayo iniwan
Siya'y nasa mamamayan at tayo ay babalikan
kung ba't doon siya nagpunta ay matuto sa masa
at maglunsad ng digma para sa inang laya

Ama:
Nangungulilang puso sa sinta't anak ko
nananabik na ako na mayakap kayo
sa aking pagbabalik sa aking munting bayan
dala ay mga aral ng mapagpalayang mamamayan

Anak huwag kang magsawa na matuto sa mamamayan
At iyong pagaralan rebolusyon at lipunan
'Di ko man matamasa halik ng inang laya
Ang hiling ko na sana maihiga kayo sa duyan niya

-Orville "chubby" Basas

never again to martial law!

2009-12-08T00:39:00.001+08:00

“Never again to martial law!”

Nangingibabaw na naman ang pagkagahaman ni GMA sa pampulitikang kapangyarihan. Noong ika-4 ng Disyembre ay idiniklara nga ni GMA ang batas militar sa Maguindanao. Ang pagdiklara ng batas militar na ito ay walang basehan at nagpapatunay lamang na gutom na gutom si GMA sa kapangyarihang pampulitika. Nakasulat sa ating saligang batas na maaari lamang magdeklara ng batas militar kung may “invasion” o “rebellion.” Maaari daw magkaroon ng rebelyon mula sa kampo ng mga Ampatuan. Pero malinaw na malinaw na walang mangyayaring rebelyon dahil nga ay naaresto na ang mga suspitsado sa massacre. Malinaw na malinaw na isang “criminal act” ang ginawa ng kampo ni Ampatuan at hindi rebelyon sa basihan na ang pamamaslang ay ginawa sa paghahangad na mapapanatili ang kapangyarihan sa Ampatuan at hindi pagdistabila ng gobyerno dahilan.

Pagkatapos maideklara ang batas militar ay nakita nga na ang mga armas na nasa hanay ng mga Ampatuan ay mga armas na galling mismo sa Armed Forces of the Philippines. Nagpapatunay lamang na ang mga warlords na ito ay inaalagaan din ng rehimeng Arroyo. Mapapansin natin na sa halip na mapabilis ang katarungan ay inilihis lamang ng gobyerno ang ating pansin sa pagdedeklara ng batas militar na halatang halata na overkill. Kitang-kita na sa ganitong pagdedeklara ng martial law ay maaari na niyang bigyan ng bogus na dahilan ang pananatili niya sa pwesto.

Halatang halata ang pagkapareho ng taktika ni GMA at ni F.Marcos noong 1972. Tulad ni Marcos, nagsimula ang batas militar ni GMA na walang basehan. Nadeklara ang batas military bago mag 1973 presidential election na kahawig na kahawig ng taktika ni GMA ngayon.

Sa ganitong sitwasyon, makakasiguro tayo na dadami pa ang mga kaso ng paglabag sa karapatang pantao sa ilalim ng batas militar ni GMA. Sa ganitong taktika, maaaring tumagal si GMA sa pwesto at maari pang palitan ang ating saligang batas. Sa ganitong paraan mauulit at mauulit ang pagbabastos sa ating karapatang pantao, pagpaslang sa mga mamahayag, pagdukot at pagtortyur sa mga estudyanteng aktibista at ang malawakang “media blackout.”

Tulad ng nangyari kay Marcos, ang mga kabataan ay may malaking papel sa pagtatanggol ng ating pambansang demokrasya at karapatang pantao. Ang pagiging makabayan ng kabataan ay dapat muling gisingin at gamitin para maipagtanggol ang Pilipino mula sa pananamantala ng isa pang pangulo na nais abusuhin ang mamamayang Pilipino. Kabataan, bawiin natin muli ang demokrasya na unti-unting pinapatay ng pasistang rehimeng Arroyo.

sulat ni Crissostomo Kong ng Philippine Christian University

2009-11-27T22:45:00.001+08:00

"He who strikes a man so that he dies shall surely be put to death" (Exodus 21:12).

Ang karumaldumal na krimen na ginawa sa Maguindanao ay labag, hindi lamang sa batas ng tao, sa batas din ng Diyos. Ang mga kapatid nating mga manunulat, media men, abugado, politiko at mga kaibigan ay magkakasamang pinaslang.

"Whoever sheds man’s blood, by man his blood shall be shed; for in the image of God He made man." Genesis 9:6

Sa lumipas na limang araw, naging kulay dugo ang kulay ng bawat pahayagan. Ang lumalabas sa balita sa T.V. at radio ay nakakakilabot. Mahigit sa dalawmpung Journalist ang pinatay. Ang mismong mga naglalabas ng mga balita; Mga abugadong nagtatanggol sa atin; at mga babaeng walang kalaban-laban.

"...for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil" (Romans 13:4)

Ang ginawa ng gobyerno ay mas masakit.
Ang nakikita ko sa mga sine ay kung may mga ganitong nangyari, nagsisigaw na ang pangulo at sinasabing "I want you to find who ever did this and punish them... punish them hard." sa mga pulis, militar at F.B.I.
Pero dito sa Pinas, sy*7! Anak ng ulupong! Nagdeclare lang ang pangulo ng day of mourning?
Anak ng tutpik talaga! Sa halip na kumilos ang mga AFP (armed forces of the Philippines) pinatagal pa ang paghuli kay Ampatuan na alam ng lahat na Siya ang prime suspect sa Krimen.
Isang linggo ang nakalipas ay nakita na ng 601st Brigade ng Army na may grupo ng kalalakihan na nagaaligid sa Ampatuan, Maguindanao. Ang masaklap, noong nag-request ang mga biktima (Mangudadatu) ng Police escort para mag-file ng COC (certificate of candidacy), tinanggihan ng PNP.
Palakpakan naman natin ang AFP. "to serve and protect" ang motto nila! TO SERVE AND PROTECT THE HIGHEST BIDDER! May private army na nga si Ampatuan, kampi pa ang Philipine Army. SY*7!

"But if a man come presumptuously upon his neighbor, to slay him with guile, thou shalt take him from Mine altar, that he may die." Exodus 21:14,

Sa ngayon, alam natin na natagalan ang pag huli kay Ampatuan. Bakit? Ganito kasi. Kaalyado siya ng pinakamalaking mamamatay tao sa Pinas. Si Gloria Arroyo. Sa Maguindanao nangyari, noong last election, na naging Zero (0) ang boto sa mga hindi kaalyado ni GMA. Dats why parang walang pakundangan pumatay si Ampatuan. Dahil ang amo niya, wxpert sa extra judicial murder.

Ang panawagan:

Sama-sama po tayong mga Kristyanong mag martsa at sa malakas na boses, isigaw ang ating galit at hingin ang hustisya! Kristyano tayo at hindi dapat nating bale walain ang karumaldumal na krimeng ito.

Philippine Christian University, Kung totoong Kristyano kayo, huwag niyong palampasin ang mga ganitong gawaain.

" learn to do good;

seek justice,

correct oppression;

bring justice to the fatherless,

plead the widow’s cause. "

Isaiah 1:17

pages of a fantasy - High

2009-11-14T14:36:00.010+08:00

Adrian woke up startled by a voice. All traces of sleep rushed away as he lay still -- his senses heightened. Listening for any sound in his room.
Seconds ticked into minutes with him straining his ears to hear the faintest sound an intruder might make. He lay still for a few more moments before he decided he was safe and alone. He sat up. That's when he realized that his nose was bleeding.
He grabbed his blanket and wrapped it around his waist and ran outside his room towards the bathroom. He stooped over the bathroom sink and let the faucet and let it run washing his nose constantly as he let it bleed out.
When he steeped out of the bathroom, he realized that the lights to the apartment parlor was on. His house mate, Aeron,was already awake, staring at him.
Aeron was a tall young man with a heavy built body. He had an almost flawless face with only a few laugh lines on the side of his deep brown eyes, that said that he was a happy and smiling fellow. But, tonight, Aeron wasn't smiling. The dark bags under his eyes and the ashtray full of cigarette butts told Adrian that he was was awake for a long time now.
Aeron, on the other hand, was studying Adrian. Adrian was almost the opposite of Aeron. He was a thin young man with only a few inches shorter that Aeron. His chest was covered by a thin layer of black fine hair. His face, usually clear and bold and the eyes that were always a view of the great happy times were now ashen and dark with a sign of worry and confusion.
It was Adrian who broke the silence with a question. "Why are you up so early?"
"Dude! It's really hard to sleep with you screaming in the other room like some love drunk Lunatic." Aeron, though he tried, could not hide the tone of concern in his voice.
Adrian flopped down on the chair in front of the small table, right across Aeron and he reached for the pack of cigarettes on the middle of the table just as Aeron was putting out his latest cigarette.
As Adrian was lighting his cigarette, Aeron spoke, now with a hint of teasing in his voice. "So... Who's 'Sarah'? have I met her?"
Adrian with a half smile, showing more confusion than amusement said, "Even I haven't a Sarah."
"Then why, pray tell, were you screaming..."--Aeron help up his hands and waved them around-- "Sarah!!"
"I'm sorry I woke you."
"You should be sorry you got me worried, you jack ass. Now, who's Sarah?"
"No idea. How long have I been 'screaming Sarah'?"
"A little over one and a half. I was irritated for the first hour. Got worried when you went quiet."
"Sorry about that. What time is it?"
"Five. Just enough for an hour nap. We won't be needed 'till nine. We are our own bosses."
...................................................................................................................
At around eight am, the two were ready to set out for another day of renovating beat up buildings ad looking for potential clients. It was a gloomy Saturday. The air felt cold and there was a little drizzle. The rain was thin; instead of falling, the drops were floating aimlessly, going whichever way the breeze would take them. A sign that, both men knew, meant summer was coming.
Aeron wore his 'NFL'-plastic-leather black jacket over a brown 'Siemens' Soccer shirt, blue denim jeans and a pair of Jordan Airs -- although Aeron never had once set out for sports. And the final touch was a 'Neo-style-Matrix sunglasses. The day was gloomy but Aeron believed that if you're 'cool': the sun shines 24/7.
Adrian, on the other hand, has always gone with the grunge look. He wore a pair of vintage--really old-- red Chuck Taylor sneakers; a pair of fading, blue jeans noticeably ripped at the right knee; a red and white horizontally striped shirt. His hair was thick and black as night but never did he comb it. He prefers the messed up look. And, now, as the circumstance calls for it, he wore and old, beaten up, brown, leather jacket.
He remembered when he first found the jacket. He and Aeron were checking a project a few months ago. They were checking the pipes and the electrical wires of an apartment building they were going to restore. When he ventured on himself to check one of the rooms, it was there he found it. Or rather, he stumbled over it. He hit the floor hard and had his nose bleeding--my nose broke my fall. Cursing, he got up, staining his favorite Nirvana shirt with his blood. He admired the jacket when he picked it up and dusted it off.
This would only be the second time he would wear this jacket. He blushed as he caught himself getting excited by the thought.
...................................................................................................................
As Aron and Adrian were commuting to their make shift office the affectionately referred to 'HQ', Aron sat next to a beautifully shaped woman who wore enough perfume that Adrian could smell her even though he sat between Aeron and the window. Aeron was busy staring at the woman's cleavage through his sunglasses that he did not notice the woman staring at their direction. Adrian was chuckling hard and had to elbow Aeron on his side to break his concentration.
"Nice jacket." The woman said.
She had thick blackish-brown hair that ended in curls at her shoulders. She was wearing a 'hoodie', open at the top, over a plunging neckline blouse. She wore tight black jeans and a pair of doll shoes. Her face resembled a beautiful Mexican soap opera star from the nineties.
"Thanks! It's an original NFL Ja..." Aeron started but both his voice and his smile vanished when the woman flashed him an eyebrow raised in confusion.
"Yeah, yours too. But I was talking about his." The woman said pointing at Adrian and trying to be polite. She failed.
Adrian was now laughing, mouth open with no sound coming out of it. Aeron blushed bright pink and kicked Adrian on the shin.
"Which are you: a cop or a poet?" The woman asked making them both turn to her with a look of confusion.
"Which would you prefer?" Aeron finally blurted out after a few awkward moments.
"Although you're interesting and attractive in your own way but I'm more interested in your friends jacket."
"Ouch!" both men said in a duet that seemed to the woman, quite rehearsed.
"Sorry for being blunt, I'm Summer." She held out her hand for Adrian but Aeron took it in his, and gave her knuckles a light peck.
"Aeron. John Aeron." He said trying to imitate James Bond's charisma. Failing miserably.
Adrian was now wheezing for air in his laughter at Aeron's James-Bond-like introduction of himself.
Summer, with an authentic grin on her face let Aeron hold on to her hand.
"Well, John Aeron. You're hot, attractive and a funny guy. under any other circumstance, I would probably get you on a date but I'm really intrigued about your friend here."
Now in spasms from all his laughing at Aerons expense, Adrian Held out his hand for Summer and said: "My name's Adrian. I'm neither a cop nor a poet. I'm a boring, under board, engineering graduate set on restoring every broken down building I could find. Nice meeting you, Summer. I always love a good laugh in the expense of my friend here. Thank you very much."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought, with the badge number and all the verses, you were a cop with a sense of literary arts." Summer took his hand and smiled apologetically.
Adrian spent the rest of their commute laughing at Aeron making a fool of himself trying to impress Summer with his literary knowledge. Mostly, he got the poets' names mixed up with each other's lives and works. but apparently, it worked. When Adrian reminded Aeron that they'll be getting of at the next stop, Summer Gave Aeron her number without Aeron even asking for it.
...................................................................................................................
As Aeron was counting their collectibles from a burned up art shop they recently converted to a seven eleven, Adrian was phasing around. Killing time while waiting for the call that would say if the people they sub-contracted would agree with their contract. He got to thinking about what summer said.
So, this jacket belonged to a cop. So it is a badge number. I always thought it was some sort of tracking code the tailor put in. I should have figured it out-- what with "Makati's Finest" embroidered on a stub on the inside of the jacket. Well, it could have been the tailor shop's name. Or maybe I'm just that naive.
So, this Michael could be a poet. An unsung artist. Yeah, he could be.
Adrian picked up the jacket and reread the entries and verses again.
Michael ain't no cop. His dad was. Maybe this kid had more than one screw loose. Maybe he got so high that he started hearing things. I wonder what happened to this kid? There wasn't any record of anybody named Rodriguez that lived in that building. That apartment was only operational for two years. and it was abandoned for around ten years. Maybe he and his friends used it as a pot house or something.
Wonder where this kid is now? This Michael. And what did he do to a certain Cherry?
It was then that a totally not connectible thought came to his mind.
Who the hell is Sarah?
Adrian was pulled out of his reverie when Aeron yelled at him.
"Adrian! Where the hell are you drifting to?"
Adrian flashed him an apologetic grin and asked: "Are we good to go on that apartment building?"
"The people we sub-contracted are already there."
"To the 'Dork Mobile,!"
...................................................................................................................
"Dork Mobile" was an understatement. It was a 1966 Chevrolet El Camino Adrian pulled out from a car grave yard. Its paint was pealing off and Adrian thought he'd save it with a ton of Polly ester body filler. Now it looks like some thing Godzilla scraped with it's tail. The front bumper was missing and it had only two working head lights on the right side of the car. The roof had dents the size of Adrian's knees and had holes that he covered with duck tape and body filler. Adrian had an eye for the arts and beauty. What he lacked was the ability to be artistic.
Adrian also thought that he could fix the engine himself. He gave up on that when he realized that what he was calling the 'intake valves' were actually just the valve stems for the exhaust valves. Aeron talked him into calling in expert mechanics.
The 'Dork Mobile' was now running in good condition. But the engine is still old and damaged from wear and tear that it gave out a back fire ever now and then. and less could be said for the interior of the car. Adrian said that it would take an army of upholsters to fix the chairs, a mob of electricians to fix the interior electronics and whole lot of money. Later, they just figured to be content on it running.
They were driving on Taft Avenue to finally get to work and get some 'hard earned cash. Aeron was driving, reciting the lyrics to Bulls on Parade of the band Rage Against The Machine while Adrian was staring out the windows. Flipping about the pages of his memories, which he often does, and unconsciously starts to flip through the pages of his fantasy.
He thinking about last night. He recalled him arguing with his girl friend on the phone. Arguing about things that meant mostly nothing. He let out a little chuckle but Aeron barely noticed it. They arguing about what she should do to loose weight. He kept saying that she wasn't fat, but a woman would rarely take a man's opinion about her weight. The argument got lost and they ended up fighting about something he could quite grasp. He hung up on her and went out to the seven eleven outlet to buy a pack of cigarettes. It was the first time he wore the leather jacket. When he got there, he realized it was pass midnight. They were arguing for hours. He spent a few moments admiring their work on the seven eleven that used to be an old art shop.
His thoughts strayed again. He was now wondering what that shop looked like and who ran it. He heard that the owner burned it himself and killed himself in that art shop. His imagination took over and he thought about what it would be like to feel your skin burn. He also thought about what it would feel like seeing your art burn and even more, burning it yourself.
Adrian played with the thought of being an artist. He wished he had the hands that could make the beauty and aesthetics he envisions. To be an artist that could mold clay and influence lives; hands that could paint color into life's dull moments. he couldn't help and think how his girlfriend would treat him if he was. Would he even have noticed her if he was? He thought artists have a long line of women on his doorstep. It might be dead wrong but that was how he thought artists to be.
He started reading a verse from the sleeve of the jacket that hurled him into another flip through the pages of his fantasies.
He saw himself sitting down on a grassy Field with his back against a tree. His girlfriend sat in front of him with her back against his chest. He had his arms around her. He presses his cheek against her straight black hair. The sweet smell of her hair filling his nostrils. He whispers a verse into her ear, letting his warm breath blow against her ear and makes her giggle. She turns to him and gives him a soft kiss on the lips--soft yet deep and passionate.
"Whack! Right on the top of his head!"
Aeron had hit him on the top of his head with a roll of plans they have for the apartment building, that pulled him out of his daydream.
"What was that for?!" Adrian sounded hurt. Even betrayed. And the whack didn't even hurt.
Aeron felt hurt, too, but he knew better than to raise his voice.
"I was talking on and on and you weren't even listening. That hurts you know."
"Oh." Adrian felt the sting of Aeron's words and also the sting of his ignoring him. "Sorry. I was having a daydream. What were you saying to me?"
Aeron let out a laugh that sounded notorious. The kind of laugh you would expect to hear from an evil scientist from old sci-fi movies.
"I was talking about that girl, Summer. But there's no time for that now. We're here. We arrived two minutes ago."
Adrian looked out of the window and started laughing himself. But when he got out of the El Camino, he felt the feeling of foreboding and being at home.
..................................................................................................................
Adrian thought hard but still couldn't believe he spent the whole hour's drive daydreaming. He kept apologizing to Aeron on their way up to the second floor of the apartment building. On the top of the stairs, they were met by six people. Two of which they had already worked with before. One had a special place in his heart.
Her name was Carmina but would only answer to the name "Mina." She has this weird thought that if you used Carmina, that meant you were mad at her. She had flawless brown skin. She had straight hair that flowed down to end an outside wave at the tip of her breast. She had a figure that Adrian called voluptuous but she herself called fat. She wore a body hugging, blue shirt that said "STUNTMAN" on the back that made her look bold yet sexy. Her eyes were almond shaped--brown and deep, a button nose and a crooked smile that sent chills up and down Adrian's spine. He loves her and she knows it. But the look in her eyes said that she has not yet gotten over the argument they had last night.
The other was Joseph Drake; He preferred to be called Jake. Jake was a thin young fellow with a shaved head and a bushy goatee. He wore Round-rimmed "John Lennon" glasses that made him look older and timed. He wore his favorite White-shirt-blue-jeans-black-sneakers-outfit. Adrian and Aeron didn't know much about Jake's personal life, but they knew that could count on him and he would do a good job at whatever he's set to. Jake took care of the legal stuff. He was as under-the-table-out-of-the-books employee and he saw to it that only the best for the job will be sub-contracted for a project of the A&A. Jake introduced the four other men with them.
There was Carl-- the master electrician. A medium built young man with straight long hair and a well-defined face that switched on Adrian's insecurities.
There was Travis-- the pipe expert. A strong middle aged man with almost graying hair.
There was Joel-- the plaster and carpentry. Also middle aged yet a tad shorter and thinner than Travis.
And there was Luie-- the fixture and furniture guy. He seemed well out of place. He was the only one wearing slacks and a long sleeved polo shirt. It made him look like he was the one who was sub-contracting everyone.
"And of course, dear Mina here, will be doing the interior design and facade. Jake finished the introduction with Mina, stating each qualification and competence but Aeron and Adrian learned long ago how to ignore Jake's Babbling. They learned to catch the name and the specialty and did not bother to hear their resume. Not that Jake bore them but because they learned to trust Jake's judgment.
Adrian was staring straight into Mina's eyes with full apology. Her eyes answered 'we'll talk later'.
Aeron took the group to see the all the rooms and bit by bit told them what A&A envisioned for the building. They progressed deliberately slow and after all the rooms were shown, Aeron took them to the reception area and showed them the plans Adrian and Aeron had worked on and discussed it with the group. When he turned to clarify something with Adrian, it was then He realized he wasn't there.
"He hasn't been with us since the second floor." Jake stated.
..................................................................................................................
Adrian found himself drawn to the room where he found the jacket. He fell behind and stayed in that room when Aeron was showing the others the apartment building. He felt warm and quiet in that room. He felt like all his troubles melted away in that room and he was left with himself to figure out his life.
Adrian took off the jacket and started reading everything again.
This must be where he wrote it. He imagined the city. This place is too far for me to run from the city hall, but just a few blocks from the transit. What were you going through, Michael?
He moved towards the window, he looked down on a ladder and a two-foot square platform. Below it were the busy streets. Noises of jeepney and cars and the incoherent voices of the people. He closed his eyes and listened.
What, Michael? What was the presence?
He was pulled out from his reverie when he heard Mina's voice.
"What are you doing?"
"I was just thinking." He turned to mina with a smile that was erased when he saw the expression on Mina's face.
"What happened to you?" Mina looked shocked and her voice full of fear and concern.
"What?"
"Your nose." Mina moved towards him and he touched his nose.
It was then that he realized that his upper lip to the left side of his chin was covered in blood. And so was the window sill. And his blood was dry.
"I'm okay."
"What were you doing here?! What happened?!"
"I just fell behind to think. I'm okay, really. You should catch up with Aeron and the others. you should see the whole building."
Mina placed her palm on Adrian's neck, then his cheek. Adrian reveled under her touch.
"Oh, Adi!" The tone of concern was strong in her voice. "We're done here. It's three o'clock."
.................................................................................................................
It was around 6pm when the three got off the bus--Aeron, Adrian and Mina. Mina made it clear to both of them that she was going to spend the night with Adrian just in case more weird stuff would happen. Aeron told her about Adrian screaming in his sleep. "And if he screams 'Sarah' again, I'll cut his balls off and nail 'em to his door." Mina threatened with more concern that jealousy.
they walked in the seven eleven on their way home to buy a six pack. The branch manager met them. His name was Jim: a stout and short man with his hair thinning at the top of his head. His eyes shown the all the hardship he's been through--sad eyes.
"Hey Aeron! Remember that girl that was always across the street, staring while yous guys was fixing up this place?" Jim said winking at mina.
"The hot chick? Yeah. Did she come around looking for me?" Aeron's joke didn't receive a chuckle from Jim.
"They found her dead this morning in her room. Poor kid. She was gonna take the bar exams too."
"Oh." Aeron felt a bit of guilt from his joke.
"Turns out that she know the guy that owned the art shop. They found a lot of sketches of his face in her room."
"Too bad." Aeron said, quite lost for words.
"Yeah. Poor Sarah." Jim said as he turned and walked away.
"Excuse me, What?" Adrian now at the counter over heard Jim.
It was Aeron who answered. "He said 'Sarah'. Last night. She knew the art shop."
Aeron turned and saw both Adrian and Mina's faces having the same look that he had. Fear and shock.
..................................................................................................................
When the three arrived at Adrian and Aeron's apartment, mina went straight to Aeron's computer in the apartment's parlor. They discussed the discovery while walking home.
From what Aeron and Adrian knew, the art shop was owned by a certain Khael Reyes and as Mina was waiting for the computer applications to load, her fingers were tensed and excited to type the name.
She typed the name "Khael Reyes" on the search engine. The results were not much. She clicked on the link at the top of the list and the screen showed an art blog page.
The entry talked about Khael's art, it's critiques and Khael's background. Skimming through the words displayed on the screen, Adrian saw what they were looking for -- a link.
Adrian reread an entry on the jacket and got more excited.
"Search for Cherry Ann Reyes." The excitement in Adrian's voice took Mina by surprise.
"The sister? Why?"
Adrian showed her the entry on the jacket and she quickly typed the name on the search engine. There were only three results. Two from social network sites and one from a tabloid news paper. She clicked on the link to the news paper.
They both read the report slowly.
People can drown in a tub but it usually involves another person drowning her. Mina thought to herself when she understood the implications that her mind conjured up while she was reading.
"Now try Michael Rodriguez."
"And who the hell is that?" Mina asked while she was typing the name on the search engine.
"It's the guy who wrote on this jacket. I think."
They were now looking at another tabloid newspaper article about Michael's death.
"If it was suicide; how did he manage to shoot himself twice in the head?" Mina thought out loud. Adrian answered her question by reading her an entry on the jacket.

I sat there on my bed, waiting for that sound but the sound I heard was not what I expected. I heard the hammer hit the firing pin. But then nothing happened. I opened it and checked if it was a miss fire. The bullet in the chamber was hit squarely in the center of its primer. I shrugged it as a dud. So, I tried it again with a new bullet. I closed my eyes real tight and pulled the trigger. "CLICK." That was all I heard. I opened my eyes and asked myself out loud, "where's the bang?" I sat there for a moment staring at the gun and savoring the taste of burnt powder, brass, steel and a slight stinging from the cleaning agent dad used to clean the gun.
Mina interrupted Adrian and grunted: "We've already out grown believing in ghost stories, Adi."
"You're in one."
Mina and Adrian turned to Aeron leaning against the door way, staring at the empty hallway outside. And without turning to face them, he spoke on.
"Remember Jason? He always talked about his kid brother: Mike. Right?"
The question was directed to Adrian but it was Mina who answered. "Go on."
"I'm not sure about Mike but I'm sure that their dad was a cop. And Jason always said his brother had a way with words and verses."
"What's your point?" Adrian blurted out in annoyance.
"Remember that house we remodeled for that old lady?"
"Mrs. Rodriguez." Mina answered with a tone of foreboding.
"What about that apartment that needed a lot of work for the bathroom floor? You know who rented it out last?" Aeron turned to face Mina.
"Dr. Rodriguez-Reyes."
"She had a daughter named Cherry Ann." Aeron pointed to the computer screen. "And a runaway son named Khael. We cleaned up his mess with the art shop. And guess who's finding these clients for us?"
Mina's eyes widened as if she were having an epiphany. "Jake."
"Joseph Drake." Aeron nodded in confirmation. "And I think I know Our next project-- Sarah's place."
Mina stood up from the computer and started towards the refrigerator as she spoke. "We need to talk to Jake."
"About what?"
The voice came from behind Aeron. And slowly, a figure stepped into the light spilling out from the doorway to the darkened hallway.
Jake handed Aeron a roll of plans. "You left this at the apartment building." Jake looked at Mina in the eyes. "Now, what do we have to talk about?"
..................................................................................................................
Adrian woke up with an unbearable headache. When he opened his eyes, He noticed that he wasn't in his bedroom. He looked around and saw an I.V. bag hanging to his left. His eyes followed the tubes that stuck in to his left arm. Beyond his view of the tubes was Mina, lying on a bench, asleep.
He called her name gently and she awoke with a start. She hurried to his side.
"What happened to me?"
"You were unconscious on your chair last night. When your nose started bleeding, we brought you here."
"What happened with Jake?"
"Hush, now, rest. He'll tell us when they come back." Mina soothed him and hummed him back to sleep.
The sun shine ripped through the window and woke Adrian. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Mina asleep on a chair beside his bed, her head rested on the bed. He ran his fingers through her hair. the gentle touch woke her and she gave Adrian a weak smile. Behind her, he saw Aeron looking down on him with concern.
"Here, try a banana. It'll do you good." Jake spoke from the other side of the bed.
Adrian turned to look at him. The bright sun was shining through the window behind Jake. Seeing the trouble, Jake moved around the bed. He positioned himself at the left foot corner of the bed placing the banana on the tray on a table beside him.
"So, what's happening to me Jake?" Adrian managed with a weak sounding voice.
"Well, I don't know if you'd believe my story, boss. But let me tell it anyways.
Ten years ago, my brother had a dream of making music that could change the world. He wanted to give the world a new kind of high..."
An image flashed in Adrian's mind. There was a blank sheet music and a pencil on a drawing table and a bright red Gibson Les Paul’s Studio Guitar on his lap. He shook his head to get rid of the image.
"...He was working day and night on it. And there was this kid on his way home to his apartment. He was riding the train..."
The image of the inside of the train was in Adrian's mind. He saw the people staring at him. His view went down, lower and lower. He now saw the shoes and ankles of people rushing towards him. Then darkness.
He opened his eyes and he was back in the hospital, Jake still telling them a weird story.
"...This kid's younger brother was in the news weeks later. Apparently, he had shot himself..."
An image of a revolver in his hand began in Adrian's mind. But as quickly as it began, it vanished.
"...I thought it ended there but then I had this dream about this kid, Michael, stalking some girl..."
Adrian's mind wandered into a memory of him caressing a girl. Her back was faced him, his hands cupping her breast and the rhythm of the splashing water in time with theirs. His mind was pulled out of the reminiscing when Mina held his hand.
"...Again, it got quiet. I thought that was it, but..."
Adrian saw fire al around him. The flames getting higher and it was getting harder to breath. he spun around and saw all the carvings, sketches, paintings and equipment burning. He was hurled back suddenly in the hospital bed. His eyes still painful from the smoke and his breathing still shallow.
"...And now I heard about this Sarah..."
Adrian was again thrown somewhere else. He was in a bedroom. He saw a girl curled up on a bed, facing towards him. Arms came from behind and wrapped themselves around her. A silhouette slowly came into the light. A man covered in tattoos was caressing her. She moans at his every touch. Somehow, Adrian understood who this man was-- Khael.
Khael turned the girl around and kissed her wildly on her lips. She returned Khaels passion. Now Adrian saw the flames starting to burn the bed. Kahel held the girl's wrists on the bed and pulled his kisses from her mouth and went to kiss her throat. She moaned and the flames grew larger. Khael ran his hands from her wrists to her soulders to her waist and gently pulled off her shirt. She moaned as Khael kissed her from her belly making his way up to her breasts. And the flames grew larger and larger.
Adrian watched as Khael made love to her, the flames engulfed the bed and it's occupants. Adrian tried to make a move but his body didn't obey him. The flames were now all around him. He opened his mouth and try to call out for help. The only word that escaped his mouth was "Sarah".
Jake and Aeron were holding Adrian down as he was struggling and screaming violently. Mina went to get help. Aeron and Jake stepped aside when the doctors came. Mina was crying hysterically and both Aeron and Jake were in shock.
Adrian struggled and screamed. His body convulsed. And he exhaled his last breath screaming "Sarah."
As Adrian's Body went limp, Jake closed his sigh and let out a sigh. Then a he felt a drop of water fall on his fore head.
..................................................................................................................
Jake opened his eyes to see the last of the visitors and mourners were leaving. Only a few people were left behind. His mother was standing beside him with her hand under his arm. He was standing over a freshly covered grave, staring at the headstone. His eyes started to fill with tears.
"That was a great peice." He said talking to the grave that lay before him.
"Not like any high I ever had. I guess I should find these people and tell them what you showed me, huh? Do you think they'd believe me?"
Mother and son finally turned and walked away.
.................................................................................................................
the guitar player, Jason Rodriguez, bent down to read the dedication on the headstone of the fresh grave. He has just played the best music he has heard and the one that lay here wrote it.
"Here lies a dreamer who dreamed to see the Cosmos."
"May he see it now and show us what he sees."
"Machree Reyes 1985-2001"
..........................................End.........................................

pages of a fantasy - dream catcher

2009-11-07T00:26:00.002+08:00

Sarah is walking home, where she came from is not clear, even to her. A bit confused and a bit cold from the night air, but she's sure where she was headed. This wasn't her usual route home but she knows a place around the corner and a few more blocks and she's home.

The night air blows colder, she pulls her coat on tighter and she walks faster. A few more meters and she'll find a familiar place: the dwellings of a beautiful, tormented soul; a place of arts where she felt like home. But the closer she gets there, the colder she feels. She reaches for her coat again but touches nothing but her skin.

Realizing this, she hastens her pace slowly breaking in to a jog.
"Just around the corner" she tolls herself.
Before she gets to that corner, she notice something absurd -- snow.
"Snow? In this city?"
But when one of the failing specks touches her skin, it wasn't snow. It was ash. But it feels so cold.

As she rounds the corner, she sees it -- a towering inferno.

She runs toward the burning art shop. As she gets closer to the fire, she feels colder. And as she stands across the street, staring at the flames, she sees it. A wave of panic, pain and fear hits her.

The artist; the beautiful, tormented soul, was burning with his art.

She runs towards the burning building with intents to save her artist. But it seems like she never even took a step. She notices someone beside her. His hand clasped on her wrist.

She turns to face the stranger.
She sees the fire in his eyes, and as if she is under a spell, she loses her thought of her artist. The stranger gives her his brown leather jacket to keep her warm. As the stranger lead her away, she steals a look back. Now, it's only a pile of charred wood and ash. And a whisper leaves her lips -- Khael.

.................................................................................................................................................................

It has been two years since Khael burned his own shop, with him along with it but the dreams keep haunting Sarah. It feels so real to her that she thinks she might actually have been there when it all happened.

But She could not have been there. It could not have happened that way, in her dream. She remembers that night well, she was woken up from her nap on a pile of her textbooks by the wailing sirens from the fire trucks. But even before the fire truck got there, the shop was already burning to a crisp.

But her dreams feels so real that she's not sure anymore.
But the biggest question on her mind was: "who was that stranger?"

She memorized the stranger's face now. Every crease, every frown line and those fiery sad eyes.

She knew the stranger's face so well that she draws it besides Khael's face every time she gets bored. And another thing she remembers is the brown leather jacket, the warmth it offered and the words or verses written all over it. And like every part of the dream, it felt so real.

Sarah still lives in the same apartment building a few blocks away from Khael's art shop. from her window, she can see the seven eleven outlet that now occupies what used to be Khael's art shop. She catches herself once in a while, staring at the store reminiscing on what it used to look like and how it used to draw her near every day as if the art shop was calling her to come home to it. But, now, staring at the seven eleven, it doesn't feel the same.
Or maybe it was Khael that she felt at home with.

One night, after waking up from the same dream, she stares out the window, looking at the store. And just as her head was beginning to clear from the dreams, she spots a kid wearing a brown leather jacket and the same messed up hair as stranger from her dream.

driven by curiosity and partly because she haven't felt the night air since she started having the dream and she missed it. She grabs her coat and her keys and still in her pajamas, runs to the store.

The air was cool but not biting. There was a light breeze blowing from the west, but Sarah barely notices it. She had her mind set on catching up to the kid and see if he was the stranger.

She bursts through the convenience store's double doors and starts looking around in every isle. The Kid was no longer there. Quite disappointed, Sarah steps out of the store with her head down and not even looking where she was headed.

She was four blocks away when she noticed that she wasn't walking towards her apartment. She chuckled at her absent mindedness and turned around and started her way back to her apartment.

When she got to the corner of the convenience store, she spotted the kid from the corner of her eye.

When she turned, the same wave of panic,pain and fear that she felt in her dreams swept over her.

"It's You!" She says out loud.
She stepped towards the stranger never pulling her eyes from the stranger's fiery eyes. Surprisingly enough, the stranger didn't look confused. Instead, he looked at her as if he knew her.
As she got closer to the stranger, she asked tactlessly: "Who are you? Do you know Khael?"
"My name is Michael, and I've talked with Khael once or twice." The stranger took a deep breath just as Sarah started to feel the biting cold.
"Why?" The only word uttered by Sarah as a reply.
"Stop chasing shadows, Sarah. Khael did it to himself. Don't get obsessed like he is." Michael said in a calm and steady tone.
"What? You said 'is'. Where is he?" Now, Sarah's voice was shaking from the cold.
"Don't Sarah. I'm trying to Keep you away from the shadows. Stop chasing them."
"Shadows?! I just want to know if he's alright."
"He's dead, Sarah. You saw him burn."
"No! No, I did not! And reports said the body was too burned to be recognized. They just assumed it was him." Sarah's voice now growing louder.
"He's gone, Sarah. So, just wake up." Michael said keeping a calm and steady tone.
"NO! You know where he is, don't you?"
"Look, Sarah, Khael is no more. You can't keep on chasing him."
"Take me to him, please."
"Sarah--" Michael's words trailed off as his finally let go of its hold on Sarah's.

Michael was now staring at someone behind Sarah. Following Michael's gaze, Sarah turns around and finds Khael behind her.
"No, Khael!" Michael grabs Sarah by the wrist to stop her from walking Khael. "Sarah, Khael's dead. Wake up."

Sarah, not even taking her eyes of Khael, says; "He's not dead. He's Right here."
"I'm right here, Sarah." Khael assures her.
"Khael, please, don't do this." Michael begs as he lets go of Sarah's wrist.
"C'mon, Sarah. I'll walk you home." Khael takes Sarah in his arm and started away from Michael.

Michael calls out to Sarah but, Sarah, now felt at home and no longer cared for anything else.

.................................................................................................................................................................

SPO1 Badua:Sorry I'm late. I was in the bathroom when you called. What do we have?

SPO1 Suarez:25 years old, female, goes by the name of Sarah. Land lady said she heard screaming from the apartment. we found our Sarah dead and her apartment door open.

Badua:So, what you think killed her?

Suarez: I can't say. No bruises, no wounds. Just died.

Badua: I don't think she just died, may. It has to have a reason.

Suarez: Whatever. But check out her sketch pad on the table.

Badua: What about it? Did she happen to sketch her killer's face? (chuckle)

Suarez: Nope. Not exactly. Look.

Badua:Huh. Looks like Rodriguez's son and that arson kid.

Suarez:Rodriguez died Six years ago. two years before Sarah here moved to this region. And Rodriguez lived in the next city.

Badua: What are you saying, May?

Suarez: It's just weird. She never could have known Rodriguez.

Badua: Maybe it's not Rodriguez. Maybe it's some kid who looks like him.

Suarez: A kid that looked like Rodriguez's son with a jacket with Rodriguez badge number?

Badua: No shit?

Suarez: No shit.

the fate of the people

2009-11-05T14:14:00.002+08:00

Presidential hopefulls:
1, the ex-president: a has been bent on taking back the political power he lost by his own stupidity. hoping to get back on his high horse and rule the country "for the people." But the question here is; who are "the people"? are they the poor (vendors, farmers, the free economy), the middle class (people with stable salaries and pay the right taxes), or is his people the rich people with the intentions to milk the other classes to line their pockets with more wealth by any means (gambling, drugs, organized crime money loundering)?

2, "talino at galing": true enough; the heart alone is not enough to run a country. But let us look back in history; the last president we had was a genius. YES! a genius! she has slid in and out of all the empeachments and managed to stay in power even though everybody knows she's a criminal. A CRIMINAL GENIUS! and all it took was "talino at galing." the question now is: are we going to make the same mistake?

3, "galing sa mahirap": this guy is rich! stinkin' rich. he said he came from a poor family and worked for where he is now (sipag at tiyaga). if this guy wants to help the poor, I mean realy help the poor, he would have given the homeless Filipinos a home by now. he has the means, he has the wealth. but what he lacks is the sense to actually help the people without seeking personal gain. if he is not the rich-self-promoting-jerk that I think he is, he would not be publishing his "kawang gawa." I have'nt seen him talk to the poor and help the poor with out media coverage. nor have I heard the poor talk about him in praise.

4, the late president's son: all I could do is laugh about it. sympathy voting is the trend that is being followed in this country. people think because his dad died for his belief in making this country better, he would carry on that belief. bull feces, if he wanted to make this country better, he would have started to do so when he was just a senator. maybe he could have talked his family out of causing the masacre at hacienda Luisita. but he did not. what makes us so sure he would stand up against the evils that has dwelt in Philippine Governance since our so called independence?

5, the curch leader: they claim to want to change the way of life in the Philippines, but hell if they know anything to run a country. think about it, when it comes to looking out for the future of this country, they have the foresight of a snake. they only see black and white. sometimes not at all. and in our constitution, " The separation of Church and State shall be inviolable." what is there to asure us that they will seperate their political judgement from their religious beliefs?

6, "kailangan bayani": well, he does not look like a hero in the eyes of the Marikina-Ondoy victims. he has done nothing to be called a hero and thus making him a pretentious prick. he could not even help his hometown's people, what could he possibly do for a country?

7,the critics: full of enthusiasm. filled with good ideas. a natural critique of the present administration. full of angst and energy. but the problem is, he reacts. when shit happenes, he reacts. I have rarely seen him act and prevent. I have mostly seen him react and acusse. will he just react to what happens? does he even know how to act and make something happen?

bayang api

2009-09-14T12:13:00.002+08:00

Ang tinatahak nating daang luntian;
Ang inaakalang ligtas na lansangan;
Ang mundo na ating ginagalawan:
Ay puno ng halimaw at taong gahaman.
Uhaw sa kapangyarihan, pera’t dugo
Na kahit kailanmang hindi napupuno
Ang kanilang tasang kumakamkam ng ginto
Na ang pagkitil ng buhay ay tila isang laro—
Isang munting laro sa mga taong nakaupo
Kasama ang mga dayuhan ay nagpapakulo
Ng pagnanakaw sa bayan ng lakas at ginto
At ang bayan ngayon ay naghihingalo.

Kaya nga’t ang dukha ngayon ang kawawa
Ngunit iilan lang ang dilat ang mata
Sa katotohanang tila nakakalula—
Na pinapaslang na ang mulat na makhata—
Mas malala: may nagbubulag-bulagan
May nakakarinig at nagbibingi-bingihan
Habang ang bayan ay nilalapastangan
Saan ang mga bayani? Nasaan ang kalayaan?
Libu-libo nang ina at ama
Libung anak na nangungulila
Sa mga minamahal na nawala parang bula
Sa halu-halong ilog ng dugo at luha

Libong manggagawa, magsasaka at mga bata;
Ang bayang inapi, ninakawan at sinira
Mga taong trinaydor at inalila
Ay bukas na ang isip – mata’y mulat na
Mga kupas na bandila at ang kabataan
Ngayon ay nasa lansangan
Isinisigay ang singil ng katarungan
Nakataas kamao at lumalaban
Ngunit kalian nga ba makakamtan ;
Ang inaasam na katarungan;
Inaasam na tunay na kalayaan?
Wala mang katiyakan—tuloy ang aming laban.

Patuloy kaming magpupunyagi
Na ang tunay na demokrasya ang maghahari
Dugo ng mga bayani ay dadanak muli
Ang sambayanang Pilipino ang siyang magwawagi.
Isang araw ang kalayaan ay ‘di na mawawala
Isang araw ang magandang buhay ay matatamasa
Isang araw ang katarungan ay nasa tao na
Isang araw kung kami’y nakabaon na sa lupa.
Ngunit habang may oras pa: kami ay lalaban
Hanga’t ang tagumpay ay aming mahahagkan
Hangang masilayan ang kalayaan ng bayan
Kahit umabot man sa aming kamataya.

pages of a fantasy - charred

2009-08-26T11:13:00.001+08:00

His name is Khael, Khael Reyes, a sophomore law student, the top and youngest in his class. He is 22 years old but has already seen the harshness of life. He goes through his day in gloom that one could not see a trace of emotion on his face. Not a smile or even a frown. But he wasn’t always like this.

Two years ago, on his graduation night, his mom called him. He could barely understand her through the sobbing. On that day, his sister was found drowned in her bathtub.

His sister: the only one who believed in him; who held him when his father felt violent; the one who took him in when their mother threw him out; the one he knew to be more of a mother to him than their own mother, was now gone. Just like that, he was alone. His mother too busy and his father still a vegetable on a hospital bed, he had no one to turn to but himself. That night, amidst the celebration, he swallowed himself whole. He decided never to betray any hint of emotion and in the process make himself numb.

True enough, he has not felt any emotion, nothing but the grief of loosing the only one who showed him affection; his shelter; his home.

Since then, he seemed invulnerable; a serious young man on a mission. Yet the mission was unclear and his goal was nothing. He became a puppet of the system. Top scholar, good in class but nothing inside: an empty shell. At least as how the world sees him.

Every day he starts with the same routine; work from 9 to 5, cross the street and study law. Come night time, his world thrives. Every night he toils seeking inspiration and models. But every night he finds none. He is a proper artist with his knife, a beautiful shredder of wood and ice. He walks the city streets looking for a familiar face, or rather a face to make him forget his home. Yet he never finds one. Instead he sees his sister. And every night he carves his sister’s soul on wood and burns it by the time he finishes.

If one could only behold his art, he would be hailed. If the world could only see his work the world will celebrate. And that is the very reason he dose not show it. He works all night to exalt his sister yet burns her memory before dawn. Every night he stages a reenactment of how life deprived him of his home. He deprives the world of his art.

On the night of his sister’s second death anniversary he tries a new medium for art: graphic skin art. He buys a machine and starts to scribble. A month later, his skin was an abstract mural in memory of his sister: the first mistake to his act of numbness.
His art was a wondrous display of shapes, shades and emotion and the world started to notice.
“Atty. canvassed skin” was what his employers called him. “Khael the brute” dubbed by his professors and “a beautiful, tormented soul” was what another student knew him as, even before he placed his art on his skin.

He thought of it as a good turn of events. “I will tear this beauty away from all as life tore me from my home.” That was the plan. He planned to end it all as soon as the world learned to love his art.

Khael started a new career. He opened up shop near his school and started to give the cheapest yet most beautiful art from sculpture to charcoal sketches and tattoos. Two months in the business, he quit his job as safety supervisor and poured his time to art and law. Unknowingly, he started to learn how to smile but he never did give one.

One summer evening, when he was alone in his shop ready to close up for the night and tend to his studies, some one came in the shop. Not even looking up to see who it was, he said “I’m about to close up but feel free to look around.” And he went on tidying up.

The visitor voice was unfamiliar to him but spoke as if he knew him. “Why just now that you graced the world of your art?” the visitor asked? “Excuse me?” he asked back. “From what I’ve seen from you, you are art’s child.” Khael turns to his visitor and says “no sir, you are mistaken.” “I am Khael Reyes, son of Dr. Susan Rodriguez and Engineer Karl Cunlo Reyes. I am not an artist’s son, nor was I born in art. I am but a victim of life as all men are evidently will be.” Khael’s visitor was a young man in his early 20’s, but what Khael noticed was the jacket he was wearing. The jacket was vintage brown leather, with words written all over it. It was obvious that the writings were not from the manufacturer and Khael figured his visitor was a poet or a writer of some sort.

“I am Michael” the visitor introduced himself and took out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket. “I have here a design,” Michael started but Khael interrupted him. “I’m closed for the day.” Michael smiled and handed him the piece of paper. “I’m not asking you to do it for me; I’m asking you to study this design.” Khael was intrigued and took the piece of paper. Khael tried to examine the design but was distracted by the age of the paper. It seemed as though it was years old and was once submerged in water. The ring of his shop door took him from his revere and he was once again alone in his shop.

That evening, curious about the design, Khael rushed back to his shop after his classes. He hunched over the design on his well-lit working table to study it. Hours passed as he turned it over on its’ side and upside down but he couldn’t seem to understand the inspiration of the abstract design. Not wanting to give up on understanding this weird art, he fell asleep hunched over his table.

The next morning he wakes with someone knocking on his shop door. He opens his door and finds Sarah, his fellow law student, looking worried. “Are you okay?” Sarah asked. “Why would I not be okay?” he answers. “I saw you last night come in here and turn a light on and this morning, the same light was still on. I was just worried about you.”

Still not fully awake, Khael invites Sarah to come in and he washes his face on the sink. Sarah looks around and finds the design. “This is quite a beautiful impression of a girl,” she says picking up the piece of paper. Khael rushes to Sarah’s side to try and see what she sees. “How could that be a girl?” Khael asks. She points out to the jagged outline of the design and says, “it’s a charred image of a girl. As if her image was burned into wood or a sculpture saved from flames.” Khael peered closer and saw the image of her sister as if he carved it himself. “Oh. Now I see it.”

Much more to that, Khael also saw something that Sarah didn’t. He saw formations of words on the edges of the design. It read “I’m sorry for leaving, but I am happy now, Khael.”
What he read did nothing to appease his anger towards life, but only fed it. That night, as the world slept, Khael took his art from the world as life took his home from him. He burned all his art and his shop with him along with it.

-Orville “chubby” Basas-

pages of a fantasy - notepad

2009-02-14T22:07:00.003+08:00

There is something different about her. I knew it from the first time I saw her. She is beautiful. I watch her go about her business at school. And, we share the same train home. I have been in love with her from the start.

One day, when we were going home, I mustered all the courage to sit beside her. She glanced my way. She saw me. She actually noticed me. Or at least saw me. Not every one does. But she did and smiled and let out a little chuckle.

We sat together for the next three stations. When it was her stop, I followed her off the train. I made sure I was cautious and quiet enough for her not to notice me. I followed her home to her studio apartment. I couldn't get in her apartment, I would not dare to. But I wanted to know her. I climbed up the fire escape and looked through her window.

I watched her do her business, watched her eat and get ready for bed, memorizing her routine. I watched her strip to her skin and slip between her sheets and fade to sleep. I watched her breath and smile at whatever it was she dreamed about. This went on for weeks. Every night I would watch her through the window and leave before dawn.

One night, as she slept in the night, she awoke in sudden. She looked around her as if searching. I feared she might have felt me watching her. I froze, thinking that my slightest movement would give me away. She shook her head with a chuckle and glanced out the window. When she stood up, I almost leaped off the fire escape. But she did not walk towards the window, instead, she sat by her bedside table and started writing. After a few moments, she went back to bed.

That morning, I waited for her to leave. I could not leave without satisfying my curiosity on what she wrote. After she left, I slipped in through the window and read what was written on the notepad.

“I do not know where you are.
Nor do I know who.
But I can feel you watching.
My name is Cherry.”

I read it over and over, not quite believing it. I picked up a pen and wrote her back:

“I'm sorry, I could not help it. I saw you on the train.
I was awed by your beauty and your sweet smile.
I just had to see you.
Anyways, my name is Michael. I hope you don't mind
me watching and admiring you this way.”

I then slipped out and went to school. Late as it was, I found her doing what she regularly does. And looking damn more beautiful at it.

By the end of the day, we again shared the same train. I sat far from her this time. Some of observing and some of fear that if she saw me she might shy away. So, I followed her home again, keeping my distance and being more cautious. When we got to the apartment building she took the main entrance and I took the fire escape.

Again I watched her do her routine. From making her dinner to giving herself a scrubbing with a washcloth. I watched her slip naked between her sheets, and before turning off her bedside lamp, she takes the note pad and reads my reply. My heart melt as she smiled and scribbled in her reply.

We began to have conversations on that notepad. Her, inside, and me, watching from the outside. I started to stop going to school, sometimes writing on that notepad, verses for her, telling her stories about myself and how I admired her. I ended up hanging around her apartment building, waiting for her to come home.

I told her that I watched her though the window but am too scared to meet her up front, that maybe she would not like how I look like. She wrote back:

“I have seen you.
Once on the train.
With your hair messed up and your brown leather jacket.
Which is a great statement by the way, with all the
writings all over it.
And you looked great...=)”

All feelings leaped inside me when I read that. I actually felt accepted. I started to do her chores for her when she left for school, that every night when she got home, her dinner was ready. I still stayed outside the window when she came home. And I wrote her more sonnets, poems and verses of what I felt about her. She found it a good choice to not pull me in from through the window, she said it felt like an angel watching over her.

Our conversations ran on and on on that notepad. Talking about her day and everything that went on under the sun while she was gone. A love affair on a notepad.

One night, six months after I stopped going to school, she came home late. She didn't even touch her dinner. She went straight to bed, she didn't even bother to scrub herself or read the notepad.
I mustered all the courage I had in me and went inside. I went to her side. I could smell her. She was dead drunk. So I thought she wouldn't mind. I took a washcloth and a basin and stripped her naked. I gave her a scrubbing and tucked her in between her sheets. I cleaned up her table putting everything in the fridge and gave her a goodnight kiss. She must have felt it through all the liqueur because she asked me to stay beside her. I did.

I left before dawn to take a walk and think. I was in love. When I got back to her apartment, she was gone. I looked at the notepad and there she wrote:

“Thank you, Michael, my angel.
Thanks for last night and the beautiful poem.”

So, I went back doing her chores for her, having a great feeling of being appreciated. I made her dinner after finding that she might have eaten last night's dinner for breakfast.
By the time she came home I was already outside the window, watching. She went straight to the window and for the first time, invited me in. We talked as she ate her dinner. We talked through the night. She invited me to take a warm bath with her, which later, she insisted. We took the bath, I, in silence, stroking her body and memorizing her every curve, absorbing her moans of pleasure.

We made love that night. She fell asleep in my arms, feeling her rhythmic breathing, stroking her light, jet-black hair.

She woke up as I was heating coffee, right before dawn. She said she didn't want to go to school that day. When I asked if she was feeling ill, she replied that she wanted to stay with me all day and that she felt rejuvenated.

We sat on that bed all day, enjoying every moment.

That night, we made love again and this time she didn't fall asleep. We talked the rest of the night, and she wanted to use the notepad again but this time our replies would be quicker. It went like this:

“I am Cherry Ann Reyes.
Eighteen. My mother is a pathologist.
And my father was/is a welder.”

“Why 'was/is?'”

“He fell from a building he was working on.
He didn't die.
He's in a comma.
And he likes to write poems and sonnets just like you.”

“I'm sorry to hear that.”

“It's okay.
What about you?
What's your story?”

“My name is Michael Rodriguez.
My mother works for city hall.
At least she was the last time I saw her.
And my dad was a police officer.
He died a couple of years ago.”

“I'm sorry.
Do you want to stop?”

“No, it's okay.
Never really spent that much time with me.
I mostly spent my time with my brother who
died a few weeks before dad did.”

“Again, I'm sorry.
Do you want to talk about it?”

“would you care to listen?”

"by all means."

“Well, he was riding a train.
The same train we share.
And he just collapsed and never woke up.
Doctors say it was a mystery.
'He was in the peak of his health' they said.
I couldn't believe it.
He was as strong as an ox.
And he just left me and I don't even know
why or how.
He just left.”

“You want to stop this?”

“Oh, no.
It's your turn.
Tell me something weird.”

“Okay.
My cousin died mysteriously too.
He was older than me and taught me to play guitar
every weekend.
One day he just told me that he couldn't teach me
because he was writing a masterpiece.
The next morning, his mom found him dead.
Is that weird enough?”

“Nope.
Not enough. Not even mysterious.”

“Okay.
My mom is a pathologist and she conducted the autopsy.
And zero. Nothing.
He was as fit as a gymnast.”

“Oh.
Okay. Just like my brother.”

“Now it's your turn.”

“I have one weird story.
But I don't think you would like it."

"Oh, come on."

“I would write it down but it's a long story
so you would have to wait.”

“Okay.”

“Two years ago, a kid in my neighborhood
shot himself in the head twice.”

“Twice?
But that's not valid.
It has to be something that happened to someone
close to you.
And that's not even long.”

“Okay. About me then.
I once felt a really weird chill up my spine.
Everything and everyone I knew was gone.
All I heard were voices and howls and growls.
I was running all over the city.
I found refuge in an abandoned apartment building two
blocks from here and I started writing on my jacket
what I thought was happening.”

“What was happening?
Were you sleep walking?”

“This happened the day that kid shot himself.
He was sixteen and he went to our school.”

“Did you know him?
What was his name?”

“ Michael S. Rodriguez.”

(phone call)

Doctor Rodriguez?

I hate to be the barer of grave news
but we found your daughter, Cherry Ann,
drowned in her bath tub.
From the state of the body, it seems that
she have died maybe two nights ago.
And the neighbors claim to have heard moaning
from her room on the same night.
Does your daughter have a boyfriend?

Doctor Rodriguez?

Doctor Rodriguez, are you there?

Doctor...

-Orville “chubby” Basas

pages of a fantasy - words of the lost

2009-02-05T20:27:00.002+08:00

...I sat there on my bed, waiting for that sound.
But the sound I heard was not what I expected.
I heard the hammer hit the firing pin. But then nothing happened.
I opened it and checked if it was a miss fire.
The bullet in the chamber was hit squarely in the center of its primer.
I shrugged it as a dud. So I tried it again with a new bullet.
I closed my eyes real tight and pulled the trigger.
"CLICK"
That was all I heard.
I opened my eyes and asked myself out loud,
"where's the bang?"
I sat there for a moment staring at the gun and savouring the taste of burnt powder,
brass, steel and a slight stinging from the cleaning agent dad used to clean the gun.
"Revolver' as he proudly called it.
I shook myself out of my reverie. I left the "revolver" on the bed and went out of my room.
The house was still quiet. I guess mom wasn't home yet and, well, dad died and was buried
a week ago.
I pulled out an old leather jacket from my dad's stuff in the closet and went out of the house
to find another way to end my misery. I was up a few blocks, walking, when I noticed it.
Silence.
This city couldn't keep silent in the middle of the night up to the wee hours of the morning.
Yet, it was silent now, between three and four in the afternoon.
I looked around me and saw no jeepneys. Some of the stores were open but there was no one
inside them.
No costumers, no clerks.
I looked around some more, no sea of people moving on the streets except maybe for a
few homeless people minding their own business.
I went inside the Internet cafe where I usually hang out. It was deserted, but the computers were still on and running.
A shiver wend down my spine as I felt a presence around me that I could not see.
I backed up out of the door, spinning around as I felt the breeze of the outside.
Still, I felt the presence all around me.
Panicked, I ran aimlessly, few of the homeless people staring at me and the neighborhood wacko screaming at me.
I found myself running towards my mother's office. This, too, was abandoned.
I started to look around and I calmed down when I saw a janitor doing his business with the floor. I approached him and asked him what was happening. He said nothing, like he didn't even hear me. If he did, he didn't show any sign of it.
I was starting to cry when I felt a shiver down my spine again.
I spun around to see if someone was behind me. Nothing, just the blank empty silence.
I turned to the janitor but he was no longer there. Not even the mop or the bucket or any sign of them.
I was scared now and ran out city hall.
I ran 'till I found myself in front of our house. I stepped in side hoping that it's familiar confines will keep me safe from what made everyone disappear.
But as I sank in the sofa, I started to hear voices. I couldn't understand what they were saying but I knew they were talking to each other.
Then I heard a howl of pain as if someone in great grief.
Then I felt the presence again. The presence of something I could not see and begin to understand. But I could now hear them and sense them.
Quietly, I sat still, observing as the howls turned into sobbing. Then the voices I've been hearing swelled, as if more and more voices came in o join them. And the presence grew stronger.
I felt the presence sink beside me on the sofa, sobbing and wheezing for air.
I was petrified when it called my name. As if calling out to me to come to it.
I started to run for the door but I couldn't go through it as fast as I planned.
As if there was a sea of people blocking the door was that I had to push my way through it.
I finally and started running. I don't know where, but it seemed like the best idea.
I kept running and running 'till I just dropped.
I sat down on the pavement and as I looked up, I was in front of an abandoned apartment building.
Then I felt the presence brushing against me, over and over.
I ran across the street to an open diner. There, I felt the presence stronger, the voices louder.
I ran out and tried the other open establishments, they were all the same.
I found myself running up the fire exit of the abandoned apartment building.
I climbed in through the window.
I curled up into a ball in one of the corners.
Waiting, observing If I felt any presence.
Hours later I decided it was safe in here.
I don't know what time it is now, I looked out the window and everything is closed now.
I here noises on the street, like roars, screams and voices but I don't see who or what they are.
It's already dark out side but some how I don't feel tired nor hungry. All I feel is fear.
I'm writing this so I could keep record of what is happening. All I had was this pen and no paper so I'm writing this on my dad's jacket.
I intend to find out what happened. Tomorrow, at first light, I'll go back out there again and ask the homeless people what they know. And if I never get back, I hope someone would find this jacket and look for my mom.

(TABLOID NEWS)
"...At around four thirty yesterday afternoon. Mrs. Rodriguez, a government employee, the widow of a police officer and a mother of a teenage boy, shook the city with her cries as police escorted her to her son's bedroom..."
"...The police received a call from neighbors saying they heard what sounded like gunshots. Police discovered the teenage Rodriguez dead on his bed with his fathers 38.mm. revolver. Although the scene suggested suicide and witnesses claim that they saw no one else with Rodriguez when he had come home and no one came out after the shots, Police are suspecting foul play..."
"...'If the boy shot himself, he could have never made the second shot,' police said. 'As the scene reveals two slugs with brain matter, two empty shells in the revolver and two exit wounds at the back of the boy's head going in different angles..."
"...the gun was still in the boy's hand when they found him but police still say it could have been planted..."
"...Michael Rodriguez was sixteen years old and a student of ...."

-Orville "chubby" Basas

pages of a fantasy - RANDOM

2009-02-05T19:22:00.003+08:00

Slowly, I'm regaining consciousness.
My mind is coming back ti it's focus.
DARKNESS...
Hollow darkness.
I'm opening my eyes but nothing. I'm still in darkness.
At least I think my eyes are open.
Nervous. I'll stay still. I have a feeling I'm not alone, like someone is watching me.
I'll lie still, observing, listening for any sound.
SOUND...
Nothing. Not even the chirping of insects or croaking of frogs I usually hear
when I wake up at night in the middle of a power outage.
I'll get up from my bed.
Nothing happened. I can't move!
PANIC!
KEEP STRUGGLING!
Still nothing is happening.
Calm down... relax.
Take a deep breath or two.
I can't smell the air.
I can't even smell the cigarette butts I leave in the ash tray that usually
stinks up my air conditioned room.
SHIT!
I think I am no longer safe, inside my apartment.
Someone must have taken me some place else.
But how?
When I was asleep?
No! That's impossible. Even the movement of my cat when she sleeps on
my bed wakes me up.
Unless I was drugged.
Again, struggle! Fight against the bonds you are in man!
...
What kind of bonds?
Straps?
Ropes?
I don't feel it...
What the-- I don't feel it?!
SHIT!
START MOVING YOUR TOES AND FINGERS MAN!
No response.
I got it. I'll scream and let my captors know I'm awake...
My scream...
I screamed! I screamed, I know I did.
Why didn't I hear it?
Not even my whimper.
I have to calm down.
Think, man think!
Where am I?
Hell, if I know!
Where was I last?
Sleeping--
Wait..
Now I remember.
I was at school in my political science class.
The class ended with the professor cancelling our next two meetings
with him because he had to go somewhere.
Then I got out of school, had a smoke and went up to the transit.
I was going home to my apartment. I even remember an old man picking his nose on the train. Then I got home--
I got...
I can't remember.
Am I still on the train?
Have I fallen asleep? But why can't I smell the other passenger's on the---
OUCH!
FUCK! THAT HURTS LIKE HELL!
FUCK! THAT'S TWICE ON BOTH SIDES OF MY CHEST!
WHAT THE FUCK IS---
MOTHER FUCKE---

Dr. Reyes' private notes on pathology:
the subject is male, Filipino, 5 feet 5 inches in height, approximately 60 kilograms, in his early twenties. He collapsed on a train on his way home. He was pronounced dead on arrival in (DELETED). When I got to working on his body, to try to find the cause of death, it was already going in to rigor mortis. I figured his blood would already be coagulated at this point but as I made the first two incisions, his blood was still fluid and warm. I checked his vital signs again, there was none. He was dead, I was sure of it. I continued the autopsy. to my surprise, there seems to be nothing in his blood stream that could be poisonous, let alone weaken him. His organs were all healthy, no swelling pancreas, no battered liver. Everything was clean except maybe for the lungs which had tar and nicotine, but by the amount of it could not even kill a five-year-old. The tests on his blood was clean, no poisons, no narcotics, not even a hint that used cannabis sativa. As I see it, he is as healthy as he could be. All his past medical records were all normal. Just a few scrapes and bruises when he fell of a tree when he was five and the common cold which his mother thought was dengue fever. Aside from that he was never hospitalized for any diseases.
How in the world could this young man have died?
No lacerations, no contusions, no bleeding, just die?
It's like he just seized to exist. This is the first case I encountered that had baffled me and my staff. A mystery beyond our grasp.
(END OF ENTRY)

-Orville "chubby" Basas

pages of a fantasy - Legends of The Cosmos

2009-01-30T17:02:00.003+08:00

I am Machree.
A few years ago I was a nobody but now I have a feeling the world will know me.

I have been experimenting with a melody on my guitar. I wanted to create my own style. Something I will be remembered for long after I die. I started to write a piece on sheet music.
I was sixteen when I started.
Every night I would stay up late with my guitar scribbling notes, replacing some, sustaining a few.
After I finished the first four riffs I noticed that it would be far too impossible for a boy of my speed and ability to pull it off, but I decided to give it a try.
I ended up missing a lot of the notes so I decided to ease up with the tempo.
One night, I was eighteen, I finished arranging the four riffs.
I had in my hands six pages of the greatest melody. I played it that night and I found myself floating in the cosmos.
The greatest high I ever felt.
But it was not enough. I decided to make it into a symphony. For four years I kept writing. Making riffs, setting tempos and putting down notes.
Come to think of it, I do not remember ever doing anything else.
I don't even remember ever eating nor going to the bathroom.
But, anyways, I now have a masterpiece. Twenty four sheets of a great melody that could bring the tone deaf to the dwindling heights of the cosmos.
This music will put my name on the walls of fame.
I will become a legend.

EULOGY:
Today is a sad and dark day for all of us.
And even more for the dear parents of Machree.
Today we will bury a young boy of eighteen.
A quiet and kind young man of great talent.
A dear friend, a strong spirit and a loving brother.
My brother, Machree, had dreams. Dreams to become a great musician.
Dreams of writing music that could change the world.
Dreams that may no longer come true.
May we remember him in our hearts as a masterpiece in himself.
And as we lay him down to his eternal bed, may his first and last song
be heard, reverberate and resound in the hearts of all who hears it.
By mother's request, Machree's original, his masterpiece;
"Legends of The Cosmos."

-Orville "chubby" Basas

pages of a fantasy - Stranded

2009-01-30T16:40:00.002+08:00

I open my eyes in dreadful fright as I wake in grim of silence
I lay full length and regained my sight and felt woe in all excellence
Wires and hoses run all over me and movement I cannot muster
All I can see is this light 'round me but thoughts are getting clearer
I cannot speak and I cannot breath but why am I still the living
I cannot feel and I cannot feed, all I can do is but hearing
Hearing the world sustaining the dying and to preserve a worthless life
I curse you for calling this living, I curse life for being my strife
I cannot dream and I cannot sleep, I cannot wake up from this slumber
I cannot live and I cannot weep even death would seem much better
I lie awake each night and listen, hear the living talk about my state
And all the words that they have spoken were pointless to my nearing fate
Stranded between death and the living, an aimless thought of the undead
A voiceless voice of a soul pleading for death to come and take my head
I beg you please, take this life from me, take your machines and let me be
I beg you death, show me your beauty, come for me and set me free
Come, take me out of this misery, death take me to across the sea
death of life please show me your pity, take me out of my misery
I am not dead nor am I living, I cannot go back nor forward
No ounce of strength to me returning, fated to be a fate less bastard
I pray for death but death never comes to lay me my eternal bed
Tied to machines that gently hums. tied to machines that gives me dread
Pull the plug and give me liberty, please take this life away from me
Let me die in peace with dignity, please take my breath away from me
Angel of death do me your duty, please take my thoughts away from me
Give me death which I thirst for, Please take these dreams away from me
I beg you, stop this insanity, take this soul out from this body
I call your name, death, please hear my plea. put me out of my misery

-Orville "chubby" Basas

pages of a fantasy - the mind

2009-01-27T19:40:00.005+08:00

Come with me to the valley of the shadows
To the darkest pits of which no mortal knows
Where the howls of hell are heard as melody
Where our distorted views of life and beauty
Are burning tides for the heart of the many
Etched in every man's bleeding heart's fantasy
Where listening to the sound off tolling bells
Echoing with sorrow in the empty wells
Wakes us all from slumber in the depths of hell
And gives us more of those bleeding hearts to sell
Where we sit with the wolves, dine with the reaper
Where we lay with death, take joy in the fever
Where the pleasures of life that shadows cover
Will always be on the road to the never
Wine will flow to intoxicate your being
To distort you from the joy you are seeking
Food will run to corrupt you and your thinking
It will make you see what you are not seeing
Air will blend with sweetness intoxicating
The streams will merge with nectar so enlightening
You will see the great fragrance of the dying
How mountains would replenish the starving
You will see the wind's chill comfort the crying
You will witness the great arch angels falling
The rivers will love all those who are mourning
And it will turn them all to a reigning king
Come with me to a world of death surpassing
Where all creatures are equal, dead or dying
There your thoughts of anguish are celebrated
And melancholy becomes the artist's bed
There the malevolent and the demented
Are revered, honored, distinguished, clothed and fed
There the foul roam free, the utopia of dread
There strident, painful cries resound in your head
There the sighs of the singed pacify the meek
And the hunger for death gives strength to the weak
There the wise surrenders to nature's mystic
And the fallen angels would dare not speak
Come with me to the valley of the shadows
A wondrous place which all life and beauty shows
To the darkest deepest pits of which no mortal knows
A great white river of grim, anguish and woes

-Orville "chubby" Basas

Beauty after the rain

2009-01-26T19:50:00.003+08:00

LOVE: So beauty, child, it has been a long while
who do I give credit for that great smile
Never have I seen you radiantly glow
Curious as I am, would you let me know
BEAUTY: He has found me, Love, HE has held me tight
He has made everything feel oh so right
I want him, Love, to take me forever
I want his swear that no one could sunder
LOVE: Who?
BEAUTY: An I think he loves me too
LOVE: You think?
BEAUTY: Oh, no. I feel it so
LOVE: What else do I don't know?
BEAUTY: We knew each other back when we were young
But our love song was never sung
He went away somewhere and stayed so long
But now he is back and we sang our song
He said Beauty's child is now a lady
I feel like fate has done so much for me
LOVE: Fate? I thought you did not believe in her
So I guess now you found your true lover
BEAUTY: Oh yes, Love, and this one is a keeper
I will not let him go now that he is here
LOVE: After that talk in the rain
After that fear and that pain
BEAUTY: Oh, Love, this is different
This is not your little game
LOVE: I know, I know, I have heard your song
I am confident it will last long
I am just saying after the rain
I hope that we would not do that again
I hope that you would really be happy
I hope he would love you true, dear Beauty
BEAUTY: I am confident he will, I feel him
Now I know it is he I've been missing
I felt it all last night when I held him
I want him to love me and me be loving
This heart is beating, I know it is he
After a long time I am happy
LOVE: That I can see, I am happy for you
Thank God someone has finally come through
So may you prosper and may your love grow
And may your radiant glow forever show

-Orville "chubby" Basas

the jar and the lid - a love song

2009-01-26T19:16:00.003+08:00

R.J.:
It's been ten years since I saw you last
Ten pointless years of life living fast
Ten years since I lost the sight of you
Ten lost years of doing what I do

You were beauty's child and poetry
That child, that art is now a lady
Oh that radiant glow I saw in you
Now burns brighter, burns a brighter hue

Would you believe me if I told you
I have loved you since I first saw you
Would you believe that I say it true
Would you believe me and love me too

BEAUTY:
Oh, for so long I have been waiting
And for so long I have been waiting
To find that one that has been missing
To really be loved and be loving

This heart has been wandering too long
Too long have I waited for your song
Do you know that I loved yo then
But was too young to know way back when

So just take my hand and dance with me
Just hold me close and sway me gently
Just dance with me 'till the sun goes down
Just dance with me 'till all else are gone

-Orville "chubby" Basas

stealing sunset

2009-01-25T20:17:00.003+08:00

Once under the gray twilight of a dawning light
Before her world would shine and make captive your sight
T'was a cold foggy morning to begin her day
And fate, with her, was already starting to play

By dawn, Beauty's eyes have seen radiance in a lad
He has seen radiance in the grace that beauty had
Yet not a word between them were spoken at all
Perhaps they were too young to know they were to fall

By morning Beauty's heart was exploring the world
Taking in lessons from the love songs she has heard
Yet no one else has seen her radiance and beauty
No one seeing the lady she can and will be

Come mid day she has learned to love another
Yet never seeing that radiance in a lover
She was loved yet fate knew she deserved much better
So she learned from what happened - getting much wiser

By that afternoon when it was time to come home
Tired and restless with no one to have but her own
The radiant lad too, had no one to call his own
Seeing each other and wanting to call it home

Before sunset they finally took time to dance
Giving credit to fate for all the pre-dawn glance
So they danced away waiting for the love to end
Yet sunset never came, nor waiting 'round the bend

-Orville "chubby" Basas

the honest liar

2009-01-24T19:12:00.003+08:00

Eyes wide shut, I ran out in to the open air
Breathing in so the fresh air of lit cigerettes
Taking in the deafening silence of traffic
I bow down to see the the bright skies of burnt dark clouds
Open my eyes tight and bore what I can not bare
I burn myself on how ever cold this world gets
Chocking on the nothingness that makes this world sick
The world is winning on the basis of no grounds
Find myself in paradise of some painful stare
Of, undoubtably, untamable, curious pets
Shaking their fists in love of some dead politic
Who said he would build mountains and ended up with mounds
Where am I drifting to, where have I been sleeping
How has it been for you, is irony leaking

Greatly, I admire the dead, for they are certain
Certain of their every whim and every movement
As for me I am not sure how my life proceedes
Is it left, right or is it somewwhere in between
Am I part of this society's unspoken
Unspoken for out of every moment
Because, inside me, life already planted seeds
That tells me to fade into the background and grin
Anything getting through in this senseless ranting
Are remains of your soul still alive and kicking

-Orville "chubby" Basas

all that jazz

2009-01-24T19:05:00.003+08:00

Swoop me down with your guitar
And your subduing saxophone
Make me sway with those ivory
And bob my head to ebony
Make my heart pound with that soothing bass
Make me snap my fingers to that percussions
Make me tap my feet to that trumpet
take me high
Skad away, skad
Make me groove, make me move
Sing to me that melody
ring that beat so heavenly
Hit me with that beat
Hit me with music

-Orville "chubby" Basas

CAPTIVE

2009-01-24T18:55:00.002+08:00

Never have I seen so much radiance
And, oh, all else found in the heavens
That when I look at you watching me
Sorry for having caged your beauty

You tried to make me understand you
And be happy for all that you do
I could not be what you wanted me
Sorry for having caged your beauty

You are too much of a great goddess
To be tied up to someone useless
Sorry i could not make you happy
Sorry for having caged your beauty

Blame me not for I love you that much
So much to build my world by as such
Structures to keep you all for just me
Sorry for having caged your beauty

Denny me not my distorted views
Leave me the right to light my own fuse
Take the chance to find what you could be
I have no right to cage your beauty

-Orville "chubby" Basas

to rise and fall

2009-01-20T16:47:00.003+08:00

I do not care who you are, what you do or what you want to be
Burn the bridges, ride the tide, paint the town, cast them all out to sea
Light the pipe of peace, live a life of ease and penny royal tea
Let music hit you, paint a diff'rent hue and come along with me

Sleep now with the fire, be the honest liar, let music take control
Live life without fear, treasure every tear, free your mind and soul
Appreciate the arts, mend and touch some hearts, keep track of what they stole
Let all your hair down, truly smile or frown, But keep stomping your sole

Shake your fist to tyranny and wage a war for good and beauty
Call things what they are, let them not go far, leave all their dignity
Fight for the righteous, learn what is taught us, seek serendipity
Remember the dead, hear what they have said, lay people down gently

Love those who love you, hate if you have to but never you despise
Love simplicity, know complexity, always ask to be wise
Love true, love sweeter, give all you muster, never fall prey to lies
Hold hands with your love, love free like a dove, hold your love as it dies

When your life closes, refrain from noises, respect your deaths angel
Live free, reach higher, live to be better, do what you are able
Accept your demise, just like with your rise, it's unavoidable
go out with blazes, smiles on their faces, sleep well in your cradle

-Orville "chubby" Basas

lone

2009-01-19T20:55:00.003+08:00

Death is now my friend and companion
As life dennied me her compasion
Now I step into a darker light
As angels cast me out from his sight
I lay making love with Misery
As the World dennied me her beauty
I dine with Sorrow and drink her wine
For Happiness turned away from mine
I sit with Dread under starry skies
Joy was taken away from my eyes
I sing with Distruction by the fir
For all your truth was but a liar
I dance alone beside this river
For you are by myside no longer

-Orville "chubby" Basas

torment

2009-01-19T20:33:00.002+08:00

I lose myself in your heartfelt tears
I feel your pain, your heartache and fears
Your torment makes me want to love you
To love you better, to love you true

You tell me things he has done to you
Happy memories of brightest hue
The pain he caused and heaven he brought
The wine and the songs and beauty's thought

You tell me these and you love him still
You live in pain only he can kill
You long for him still, though he has gone
You still see him as the only one

All though I know that I should not fall
For one who gave another her all
For I know you still love the other
Though I am here to love you better

Your heart is still his, all though broken
But my stagnant heart you have stolen
I know that you would never love me
As you love him in all his glory

So her I am with all time to spare
Listening to your misery bare
Wishing that I were he you long for
To have, hold and love you to the core

But I am not, so I should not be
Wanting to have, and you to love me
But still, here I stay, lending an ear
Wiping your face free from any tear

-Orville "chubby" Basas

truth is

2009-01-17T19:01:00.004+08:00

an angry, violent cry shakes the walls of Angels' Hill
as the words she spoke, in your heart, resounding still
and now tears flood your eyes as her words are sinking in
truth really does hurt, huh? tell me, how long has it been?

how long has it been since you thought of not loving?
how long has it been since you took joy in hurting?
was it not you who said that you will never love again
when you had your heart broken way back when?

since she left you, you have not been the same.
since she left you, you played this game.
a game of lies and deceit that you called Love's.
but the point of Love's game is to be loved.

yes, she has hurt you, but that was her loss,
you should have risked loving again no matter the cost.
instead you explored and played with other hearts
and now it comes back to you and your pain again starts.

after all you have done, do you expect this girl to trust you?
after all your games, you expect someone to love you?
truth is, you are a good friend, but you are not a lover.
truth is, you are loved, but you are not a lover.

now you are burning, now you are hurting
now you feel how it is to be loving
now you can see just what you have done
now you know you are not yet a man

not a man who deserves to be loved by her.
but I trust you know you could be better.

the tripper

2009-01-15T19:24:00.003+08:00

How does one get over the greatest love that he has felt?
How does one get over a loosing hand that he was dealt?
How does one survive when everything he lived for is gone?
How does one love again, as when he loved, the other ran?

Now, am I to endure this life as a loveless being?
To walk around and haunt the streets, heart empty but beating?
A soulless and aimless man to stride throughout the evening?
A loveless, empty demon,a creature wanting - burning.

Oh, now tell me this, What the hell am I suppose to do?
When all I thought in this worthless life, thoughts of loving you
Oh, now tell me this, What the hell am I suppose to be?
When all I think is you and why did you leave me?

Now am I to live this life as an angry bitter pill?
To walk around and haunt the streets, to wound but never kill?
A soulless and aimless man to stride throughout the evening
A lonely empty demon, a creature wanting - burning

now I am the tripper, loveless, haunting, bitter
now I am the jackal, an aimless, soulless reaper
now I am the devil, a wanting, burning creature
now I am the lonely, longing, thinking of her

-Orville "chubby" Basas

I am Alive

2009-01-15T19:07:00.003+08:00

I, as it was, never thought of loosing you
I, as it was, thought the love of ours was true
I, as it was, thought the world of only you
I, as it was, paint the world a diff'rent hue
WAS I wrong to have given you all I am
WAS I wrong to love you and keep myself warm
WAS I wrong to love you with all that I am
WAS I wrong to put all my life in your arm
DEAD was the world to me, you were the only
DEAD was all else when I gazed at your beauty
DEAD, all stood still when I was in your embrace
DEAD was everything when I was in your grace
TO love you was all that I was living for
YOU went your way and left me to love no more

-Orville "chubby" Basas

I, as it was

2009-01-15T18:51:00.004+08:00

I am alive, but am I living my life?
As I believe love is part of living
It seems my life ended when I lost your love
When your love was all that kept this man going.

I am a man, but do I stand on my feet?
As I believe you made me a better man
It seems I am in fear. I am in defeat
When It feels you are the best and only one.

I exist, but what is existence but grim?
As I believe I am no longer complete
It seems I died and living in misery
When it seems you were who knocked me off my feet

I think, therefore, I am, I am left alone
As I believe that you were a part of me
It seems I am none because you are my home
When I know you are my life and dignity

I am dead, nothing but an empty vessel
As I believe you are all that is in me
It seems I am alive, but I am empty
When all I know is you and your beauty

I ask you, put me out of my misery
As I believe, life is nothing without you
It seems that I should have been dead long ago
When you left me alone with no where to go.

-Orville "chubby" Basas

stand

2009-01-14T18:25:00.002+08:00

BROTHER: She has loved you more than anything and anyone has done

She gave to you her strongest arm and her ever shining sun

She has given a gift to you that you never can repay

but open your eyes and look around, that was but yesterday

Your once bleeding heart is bleeding no more

And for three years running you locked your door

I know you were hurt but it's time to stand

The happiness you seek is by your hand

HE: Then tell me how, my brother, for my heart is no longer young

For three silent years my heart could not love, my heart has not sung

I want to move on, my brother, but my heart is still in fear

Will I be able to love another as I once loved her?

Brother, I fear I could not love better

Anyone at all, as I have loved her

I want to move on, my brother, I do

But am I ready to love a love true?

Am I that ready to be loved and have so much of that pain?

Suppose I am rushing. I would love and get burned up again.

Or suppose I will not burn, but be a burden of a love

Am I ready to risk, to hurt, to cage a free flying dove?

I tell you, I have not been that better

As now I think of love, I think of her

I want to move on. I say this true

But am I ready to love just like you?

BROTHER:Your once bleeding heart is bleeding no more

So pick up your head and burst through that door

Risk it all, risk all that is in your hand

Now pick up heart, and by all means, STAND.

"Across the River"

2009-01-14T10:24:00.003+08:00

Lying still, bleeding out on the wooden floor
Satisfied and quite excited as the sickness is no more
The tormenting waves of the river, bashes me no more
As we inch closer and closer to the darkened shore

Thank all the heavens, I'm no longer life's whore
I have left all sorrow and those rotten to the core
No longer will I feel any pain and sorrow
I paid my toll to the boat man, to my home forever more

I paid my toll of two coins for the service I implore
I take this ride across the river and the world, ignore
A world full of thieves and to kill they outpour
A world i so loved and now leave to return never more

And as journey is ending, my absurdity into smiling
As I rejoice in not existing, lying bleeding on the floor
All the works stolen, all my grief not spoken
my spirit they have broken and my beauty they ignore

But all that now matters not, I know I have done a lot
But not recognition I got as we got closer to the shore
I am no longer, life's whore, pain and sorrow I feel no more
As i lie dying on the floor

-Orville "chubby" Basas

"Ludwig Wittgenstein's Cry"

2009-01-14T10:01:00.005+08:00

For everyday I fall deeper with everything you do
For every time i get closer I fall again for you
I try each night to forget you, set myself free from this
Unsavory winter of wanting someone else's - bliss

I fool myself each morning - everything is alright
I'll stop myself from wanting to take her home each night
I'll do my best to fight it, i know that she is not mine
Though every time I see her, in my eyes she's sweetest wine

A loving force- a voyeur- this is what I'm reduced to
Forced by self to love from far a pale and a fading rue
A shadowed heart- a broken heart- wanting just to be loved
But as my love belongs to another- can this be solved?

Each night I take to dreamland every woe and want of love
Come morning as I see her again, I fall in love
A fool playing a fool's game what chance do I have?
For her to take me as I am and be the one she loves

How i wish you would take all of me
But reality bites, we're not meant to be
You are a whole, I but an entity
Fated to see I can't have what makes me happy

How I wish that you could love me
But reality bites, your love is he
You are loved, I a nobody
Fated to fall deeper with someone that should not be

-Orville "chubby" Basas

tribute

2009-01-13T16:55:00.003+08:00

A burning old man of words and wisdom
A thundering voice of soothing verses
A roaring power from heaven's kingdom
A tender lover of man's restlessness

A voice whose words could open people's eyes
A mind that labeled the cheapest lies
A soul that has heard the people's cries
and made unsilent all the silent sighs

He talks of his land, the people and life
Verses of the people's pain, death and strife
Lines of how his people has been oppressed
The lives that endure what fortune has missed

He stated three seasons in this nation
Two seasons of wether one degration
The sunny, the rainny and election
The third just another chance for poison

I heard Him on a radio frequency
and just for an hour I found His beauty
He woke the hungry poet inside me
Gave me a new found love for poetry

I heard him strum and sing a song of his
I, for that moment, was in state of bliss
To not reas his work is truly a crime
The greatest free poet of His and all time.
-Orville "chubby" Basas

silence

2009-01-13T16:38:00.002+08:00

Lady love, does she avoid me? Does she not hear me sigh?
Does she not hear me call to her? Is silence where I lie?
this Godforsaken silence rings, it maddens me to hear
a silent ringing around me. It throws me in to fear
To call out for her in loudness and an answer comes none.
Lady love, does she avoid me? Am I forgotten one?
The fear turns to anxiety, the silence turns me mad.
in the back of my head, she's the best I ever had.
but silence has taken it's toll and anger has set in.
What have I done to have silence? Tell me, what is my sin?
Am I cursed for I loved too much, that silence is my home?
An I wonder where she is now. Where does Lady love roam?
Am I doomed never to hear her? Am I doomed in silence?
Or is she the one who cursed me the grim of silent fence?

So I doze off to silent sleep to be accustomed with it.
To be alone in silent woods with no one but my wit.
But silence can be maddening, in time I'll loose me too.
This silent ringing lullaby will torture me of you.
So bring it on, I'll take the burn, slumber with the fire
and throw me down the pit of pain, bury me a liar.
At least I'll know you would hurt me than have silence do it.
I would rather hear you curse me than curse me with the quiet.
-Orville "chubby" Basas

shy one

2009-01-10T20:15:00.003+08:00

when all the world around me falls
and when all turns to frustration
the heavens would not take my calls
and angels just show deception

when clouds grow heavy in the sky
and rain ours just as heavy
when I can't find the answers why
and rest just seems to avoid me

when all hell breaks loose around me
and the world just would not shut up
I start to loose sight of beauty
and just slowly start to give up

you wipe away the frustrations
with your mischievous little smile
with your antics and your actions
you could make my day all worth while

you drown out the pain and anger
with a blink of "beautiful eyes"
you could make the world all better
your "nguso" brighten up the skies

all your wise cracks and smart words
how you dance to whatever song
your amazement with ants and birds
makes us feel like nothing is wrong

how you run to greet your mother
how you laugh with the smallest things
how your lips look with "bugkos hair"
how you stare when your mother sings

if you just know and understand
all that your mother and I felt
when we reached out to hold your hand
we could feel both of our hearts melt

-Orville "chubby" Basas-

"unfaithful"

2008-12-17T19:08:00.000+08:00

Why must you be unfaithful,when her heart is true to you
you seek all days for pasture as she toils so hard for you
she who has given her all to you – you tend to ignore
she who has given her all to you – still you wanted more
she who shared with you all you have been through – joy and pain
she swallowed all her woe and left it be washed by the rain
she wanted you to be all that you could be and be great
that every time you went your way she always stood and wait
she has always been what you called home – shelter from the storms
she sticks with you through thick and thin – loves you above all norms
she has made your world her all but still you wanted more
she devoted her all to you but her you still ignore
she tried to do all things for you – beyond all she could do
so why are you unfaithful, when her heart is true to you?

He has built his world around you – are you not contented
He wears your ring and you wear his – where do you lay your head
You wander far from what he is - is his all not enough
you ran unto another's arms. Why – has your love dried up
he worships you with all he's got – you wanted something more
he gave you all he had to give – you knock on others' door
he built his world around you – you chose to give him woe
he stood faithful in all these years – still you want to go
he loves you so with all he is – loves you for what you are
he gives you all he's got to give yet still you wander far
will his love ever be enough for your fidelity
will he ever be enough for you to love him truly
he did all he could do for you – faithful – forever true
now why are you unfaithful when his heart is true to you?

-Orville "Chubby" Basas-

dilemma by samantha grace astronomia

2008-12-16T20:51:00.001+08:00

it's his wish to fall in love again
to be with someone whose heart he can call home
to sit with and embrace when it rains
and to know that he's never alone

he is starting to fall,but he says it's not right
she can't be his but he keeps thinking of her each night
he can't understand how he got to feel this way
but it's her face he looks for everyday

he can't actually tell if it's infatuation or real
but his heart skips a beat every time she's near
he hates the fact that she reminds him of someone
that someone his soul knows and he loved deeply once

my friend i can't help you get rid of your feelings
because it's love we're running against to
for now just cope with whatever you're dealing with
and one day the right one will come where your heart will fall into

saManTha..^_~

untitled work by Samantha Grace Astronomia

2008-12-16T20:39:00.003+08:00

how do you measure one's happiness?
is it on how you see them smile?
enjoy their friends' company for a while?
or party for tonic and gin and have a great time?

each day i get out of bed and do the usual thing
get out of the house and see the same faces
have fun with my friends
and hang out at different places

but when i come home at night, i look at the mirror
stare at the reflection looking back at me
i say I'm not happy
is this all I'm ever going to be?

I'm surrounded by a sea of people
and still feel alone
i can't find that someone
whom my heart yearns for

it'll be nice to have someone with you
to hold your hand kiss your forehead and slowly drift to sleep
that no matter how hard that tonic and gin hits you
you'll still have someone to hold so close and deep

to just sit side by side saying nothing at all
feeling each other breathe, hearing each other's heartbeat
to make you fall in-love over and over again
to make you feel that you are the most precious gem

he's not here, the one who holds my heart
he'll be with me soon but then again we'll part
i know when he comes I'll be happy once more
and i know that i love him 'till hell freezes over

so how do you measure my happiness?
it's when i feel my heart is looking for nothing else
but the one who completes my soul

saManTha...^_~

RAGE

2008-12-16T19:46:00.000+08:00

Why you ask for verses of endearment
while this nation is fucked by an illegitimate president
open your eyes! Stick your head out of the window!
Be angry about her screwing with the Filipino.

For long time waiting, the Filipino rage
has once again taken center stage
A roaring sound of sweet profanity
spoken against outrageous tyranny

the, once thought dead, Filipino voice
has spoken out for freedom by choice
against the slaughter of Filipino soul
Stride by stride, this people reach it's goal

so cry, sob, moan and straight out be angry
march for the nation, Shout for your dignity
She has tramples us long enough to know
that she has overstayed her welcome. Now stand, Filipino

let us shout and shake the walls of inferno
let us tell the world that we are Filipino
Let us show the world that we will fight for the right
Let us show this bitch the people's might.

-Orville “chubby” Basas-

answers

2008-12-16T19:24:00.000+08:00

How one begins to measure, the pain he has to endure
How is one to measure the love that he gives pure
How am I to tell you that I love you with my all
How can I make you comprehend, I am yours 'till all stars fall
How can I make you believe, your smile is my heroine
How can I say I'm reminded of you by all I have seen
How do I ask you to spend this life with me
How I want to reach out to you all across the sea
How do I show what I see my life to be
How can I tell you I can't see my life without you and me
How can I make you happy as what you do with me
How can I make you stay forever and share what we can be
How do I begin to tell you, you own my fidelity
How do I begin to measure how you made me happy

-Orville “chubby” Basas-

IF

2008-12-16T19:03:00.002+08:00

If you ask him for a name
if you ask him for his thoughts
if you ask him for his game
and the battles he has fought

if you watch him do his deeds
if he shows you his demise
would you pick up all his seeds
and allow them all to rise

if he shows you his darkness
if he shows you your grief
would you stand with him in sadness
and give him your beliefs

if all he knows is his life
if all his truth is his way
would you want to be his wife
and stand him every waking day

another day goes by
another plastic syringe
another mad hatter's tea
and cigarette burns

if he tells you his name
if he tells you his thoughts
if he tells you his game
and showed the chaos that he brought

if he gives you his deeds
and trusts you with his demise
if he asks you to plant his seeds
would you advise him to be wise

when he shows you his darkness
will you lighten up his life
when he tells you of his madness
will you trust him with a knife

will you change him to be better
if all his truth is his way
will you cut him to be wiser
or by him, quietly stay

another year goes by
with all the syringe
of penny royal tea
and powder burns

if he can't escape his life
would you bother to ask him why
would you still want to be his wife
even though you know you'll cry

another Christmas comes
and no more syringe
no penny royal tea
as his casket burns

-Orville “chubby” Basas-

If life gives you lemons...

2008-12-08T19:27:00.002+08:00

The times are rough. I could actually say it blows. It blows so hard that it sucks. It's getting harder to get by. Not to mention that humanity is deteriorating. It is the time I call "THE GREED AGE." Greed has taken over. Enough is never enough.

If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade and sell it by the glass. If life gives you weed, you cut it and sell it by the bag. Everyone sees everything as profits.. Everyone is replacing the conventional pronouns with ones that is needed by their greedy principles. "He," "she," and "it" are replaced with "asset," "liability" and "profit". For big companies and corporations, the "Christmas season" as a time of giving is seen as an opportunity to promote public relations for more patrons and more profit.

Everyone today is looking out for number one. It's all work for my needs. Sweat to provide for family. Toil for success. Do everything with everything life has given to be the best. People think that what life has given them is for them to be great. If life gives you lemons, right?

A certain someone told me a slightly modified motto.
"If life gives you lemons, add vodka, salt and chill."
It's kind of funny but would be better for humanity. Let us drop the "make lemonade" part and just ring everybody up for a house party.

We could be heroes.

2008-12-08T18:50:00.004+08:00

Our heroes must be turning in their graves.
The principles that they fought and died for, the same principles that became the foundation of this republic is now just a thought. An insignificant speck in the minds of today's generation. The eyes that Jose Rizal's work has opened are now wide shut. Ears that reverberated with the cry of Pugad Lawin are hearing without listening. This once proud people built on activism is now passive, blind, deaf and dumb.

Rizal gave his life for equality. He fought for the Filipino to be known as equals by any other nation. now the Philippines is one of the most corrupt countries. The Filipinos ignore this fact and moves on thinking that if they are not bleeding they would not fight back. Little do they know that we are being milked by an illegitimate president reducing our stature just like Spain has done long ago.

Bonifacio fought for freedom, for democracy. But what is happening now? An illegitimate president is destroying our democracy, spitting in the face of this once proud nation. And we just smile and not mind it.

The Philippines has a new oppressor replacing the Japanese, the Spaniards and the Marcos rule. She goes by the name of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo. She looks and talks like us. Maybe that is why we become passive. But I tell you, my fellow Filipinos, Race is not the enemy, it is the principle of the person and the persons personal agenda.

The idea that she is a Filipino is but an idea. The Fact that she is a vessel of tyranny is a fact. Our veins flow with the blood of activism. Our history is paved by it. Our whole becoming is because our ancestors stood up and fought against terrorism. They died fighting for liberty, justice and peace. This country, our country, became a republic because we fought for independence, democracy and humanity. This whole nation was because of great individuals, heroes, who would not ignore injustice and corruption. The Filipino is Filipino because we would not take oppression lying down. Look at our history. EDSA revolution, propaganda movement, HUKBALAHAP, kataastaasang, kagalanggalangang katipunan ng mga anak ng bayan, magdalo and many others have fought for what is right and what is for the Filipino nation. We should be fighting for these same things regardless of who or what the tyrant seems to be.

I am not calling out for a revolution, (though it is badly needed) but I am calling for consciousness. Filipinos! Open your eyes! You are being cheated out of your rights and your motherland.

I am not pointing out that we should be taking to the streets,(though it is not such a bad idea) but I am pointing out the lack of wanting to.

What bothers me most is the principles of heroes are being studied in school, colleges and universities but somehow, the seeds are not growing in the minds. These oppressions have happened before, Why are we not screaming at the top of our lungs in Pugad Lawin? We are mocking the Lives, Works and Death of our immortal heroes.

who wants to live forever?

2008-12-05T16:47:00.003+08:00

Mortality. How does one escape it? How does one begin to accept an imminent fate? But what is mortality? Most know it as death. Others believe it is the end and some believe it is the beginning of something new. Others even tend to wonder if the spirit can die. Some believe that the body is just the vessel for the spirit. once the body dies the spirit is left to move on. Some believe that at the death of the body, the spirit dies with it. I believe something else.

I believe that death is simply a part of life. An unavoidable hump in the path on which we travel. Death, in some way, is a way to end our misery and possibly give misery and woe to others. We, or rather, our body dies as we live. day by day the body grows weaker. The more years we live, the easier the body crumbles. And the way we live our lives is the way we die. As I recall, I think it was Snoop Dogg that said: "we live by the gun so we die by the gun." We die not by our weapon of choice but by the way we chose to live. But that's just the body.

I also believe that there is a spirit. I do believe in ghost, but that's not the spirit I am referring to. And I believe that the spirit lives on as the body dies. The "spirit" I believe in is the essence. One's spirit lives on as long as he and his work is remembered.

Immortality is given to the mind. Not the body. As I believe John Lennon is alive as long as I and countless others sing his songs and adopt his views. I believe that Jose Rizal lives as long as there are writing as he did with principles based on his.I believe that Martin Luther King and Malcolm X will live as long as their dreams are shared and experienced by the young.

The dead poets will be immortal in every hungry young poet's words. The buried musicians will live in the notes of every aspiring musicians song. The revolutionaries live in the minds of the people who survive on their victory. The villains and war lords will live in the minds of the oppressed. The lovers will live in the hearts of the loved. The writers will be reborn every time their writings are read.

One's spirit will die if he stands in the bleachers just to applaud. The spirit will be buried if one chooses to be a voyeur. So get up and make something. Leave a legacy. Leave a mark. Write, sing, rhyme, fight for something, love and be loved. Our work is something that death cannot conquer. Live life and work for life. Appreciate beauty and make beauty. Take a stand for the what you believe in. Our work will be our lives.

So, who wants to live forever?

-Orville "chubby" Basas-

Truth about us

2008-12-03T19:03:00.002+08:00

GREED - Embedded in the inner-most DNA of humanity. A part of humanity. No other creature on earth has it etched in its core. It is present from when we were born and cultivated in our early childhood. It starts with possession. The time we recognize something to be ours is the time we nourish the seed and drown out the principle of a shared universe.

"WHAT IS MINE IS MINE"

In infancy, we are trained to recognize what is ours and not ours. We open our minds to the fact that "what is mine is mine" and what is his is his. We begin to build our world. A world all on our own. "My parents," "my toys," "my food," "my world." We begin to thrive on our possessions and perceive our world revolving around us. His world revolves around him.

"I WANT ONE"

In the toddler years we cultivate our traits in owning. We love what is ours. We shew them off. We are proud of what is ours. My world is the greatest, but his world has a tower. I want one. Not so much for the tower but the toys and everything we don not have. We cultivate another trait - Envy. I want what he has got and I want it better. We nag to get one and plead for it.

"IF YOU WON'T GIVE IT, I'LL TAKE IT"

As we grow older, we tend to adopt the principle: "If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself." So we take matters in to our own hands. I want a shirt like his only better. my parents wouldn't buy me one so I'm going to save my allowance for it. Good idea, huh? To feed one's greed by getting one's own hands dirty. But what of the others who can't save? they follow the mantra: "if you won't give it, I'll take it." Too bad for the one he's going to take it from.

"TIME"

By our adolescent years, we overcome the greed for material things. It is replaced by our nagging greed for attention, affection, understanding and time. By this time we start growing hair and start to feel love or blinded by infatuation. Crush stage. We confuse admiration for beauty as love. Then we tend to try ans impress our crush. We get envious of the people who has her attention. This is the part where we go down on a slump and figure out what to do to win her attention and affection. Then we turn to change everything about us for her to notice. One day you come home pissed because she did not notice you. Your parents are shocked by your expression and the way you look. Then you go and say "why can't you understand me?!" Greed has taken a new form. And it will again evolve in time.

"GROWN UP"

By the time we get over our pathetic teenage philosophies, we discover something we really want. Liberty. Freedom. A chance to do what we want. But this is not liberty from greed. By this time our greed is growing with us. We take all the stages of greed we have had and put it all in a ball and paint it green. We want to do what we want but in order to do so, we must have "de niro," "money," "the green," or "the bills." "What is mine is mine and I want more so if you won't give it, I'll take it, in time, what is yours will be mine." And most think that money is the root of all evil, but if you think about it, greed is.

"END"

Even to our death bed, we are never content. WE would say "I wish I had more time." As I see it, we can never be content.

Greed is a part of man. It is the truth. The sad and horrid truth.

humanity

2008-12-02T17:00:00.003+08:00

the world has just witnessed the savagery of man.

Call it whatever you may want. Terrorism, heroism, war or whatever. I call It the slow decay of humanity. The attack on the Taj Mahal is not the first nor is it the most savage. But the thought of people killing for something that could be settled if the, oh, so proud leaders would just sit down and talk how to settle their difference. War is not the answer. And to fight oppression with oppression is utterly dumb. One of the gunmen said they were fighting against the oppression based on religious difference and Territorial war that I have no idea how it started.

it's mind boggling how any one would think that making a bigger bang would get everyone to understand their side. it's quite stupid to think that destruction and death of the innocent is noble. they may think that they are doing it for a greater cause which I'm not really sure who's side is the greater cause. I guess it all depends in the point of view, but still, the ends douse not justify the means. they might think that they will be seen as martyrs and heroes as time would pass, but they are and will seen by the kins of their victims as savages and killers.

they will go down in history that feed the cause of two nations to go up in arms to annihilate each other. and I fear it may be the birth of another world war.

so cry.
cry not for the dead for they are heroes.
cry.
cry not for the Taj for it makes it more historical.
cry.
cry not for the scared and orphaned for they will fight evil.
cry.
cry not for trouble for it will only make us stronger.
but cry.
cry for humanity for it is slowly dying.

Savage

2008-12-02T16:50:00.002+08:00

"Savage"

"A couple of radio deejays who were engaged in banter suddenly turned solemn and could not find the words to express their shock and revulsion at what had just happened. What had happened was the massacre at Mumbai wreaked by, well, most of the witnesses referred to them as mere “kids” or “boys,” no one possibly older than 25, who went about their business without thought or compunction. At the time the deejays talked about it, the first wave of news was just streaming in, with all its images of carnage and, it seemed at the time, a city in flames.

"True enough, words fail to describe the horror of the event. And even more the kinds of emotions it brings out in us. It was all the two deejays could do to take in the enormity of it. “How can anyone do this?” one of them asked. “It’s just totally mad,” the other replied. And they went on to talk about the utter perversity that informs acts of terrorism. And as acts of terrorism goes, they said, this one ranks high up there.

"You can understand the sentiments. Anyone who saw the news that day, particularly those who have Indian friends or kin in India, would have been speechless at the savageness of it. Some things are simply alien to human conduct, and despite India’s often bloody history and the savage rituals of its arcane cults, a monstrous thing like this happening to it in this day and age boggles the mind. Particularly when India, like China, is well on its way to becoming an economic power to go with its being an ancient civilization.

"Truly you have to wonder how people can be so lacking in human empathy that they can gun down men and women while they go about their daily lives, laughing, loving, wondering what meal they would prepare for their families when they get home. Many of those who died were in the platform of a station waiting for their trains to arrive.

"Horror amid normality, extraordinary mayhem amid ordinary life, the sudden visitation of death amid the fullness of life—all these have been known to happen. Disasters do that. A train wreck, a violent earthquake, or a vicious hurricane, does that. But for human beings to do that, willfully, deliberately, methodically—that is the truly horrific thing about it, the lack of passion or emotion with which the killers killed, like the Nazis gassing the Jews in the gas chambers wondering how many lamp shades they could make with their hides—you stand in absolute disbelief in the face of it.

"Terrorists do the terrifying things to try to send a message to their presumed oppressors. Which is that, “Anything you can do, we can do worse. Any act of atrocity you can commit, we can make more atrocious.” But at the very least, the problem with that logic is that it doesn’t sell with the victims, who are the innocent. It not only doesn’t sell with the kin of the dead, who can only call on heaven to rain upon you the worst evils to be found in hell, it doesn’t sell with the public who cannot possibly find anything in common with you to bind them to, or make them sympathize with, your cause. Acts of terrorism do not weaken the enemy, they strengthen them.

"At the very most, it hides the oppression and atrocity of the enemy by making your own oppressiveness and atrociousness the only thing the world can see. Some acts are just too savage, too unspeakable, for words. The Abu Sayyaf beheads several soldiers, and the world forgets the atrocities of the government in Muslim Mindanao, or indeed the atrocity that is government’s treatment of Muslim Mindanao. And why not? The sight of the headless and mutilated bodies of human beings is a blinding spotlight that turns everything around it dark.
Which is deeply tragic because the oppression and the atrocity of those that stoke the fires of terrorism are very often real enough. Terrorism strengthens its enemy not just physically but morally, by blotting out that enemy’s oppression and atrocity, rendering its enemy free to commit oppression and atrocity anew, this time in the name of fighting the very thing it spawned. An atrocity that is visible will always command the world’s attention while an atrocity that is invisible will always be overlooked. A carnage wreaked barbarically will always horrify while mass murder wrought civilized-ly will always mollify.

"It’s human nature, but a sad commentary on it. Because as has been asked in poetry and song and the wailing of the bereaved, is there really any moral, philosophical, ethical, religious, conceptual, rational, goddamn difference between murder wreaked from the skies, as Graham Nash puts it in a song, and murder wreaked on the ground?

"Murder wreaked from the skies is in fact more mind-boggling in quantity, if not in quality. You do not see the “perps,” as law enforcement agencies call them in movies, nor do the “perps” see their victims (they are just bleeps on the radar screen), but the results of their actions are just as grim, just as blood-spattered, just as inhuman. Just look at the sight of the mothers and fathers sobbing out their grief from the scattered remains of their children after US warplanes bombed out an Iraqi hospital during the first days of the invasion.

"What makes the Mumbai massacre doubly terrifying is the method in the madness, the willful, deliberate and methodical way it was carried out. But as willfulness, deliberateness, and method go, can there anything be more so than the destruction of homes and the annihilation of civilians wrought from decisions made in war rooms, the “perps” armed only with consoles like those to be found in gaming arcades? Yet seeing the one, we are at a loss to find words to condemn it, while not seeing the other, we are at a loss only to find the words to grasp it.

"It is human nature, but truly a sad, sad commentary on it."

-Conrado de Quiros-

Fort

2008-11-29T19:14:00.000+08:00

"FORT"

you, who has been with me through my ups and downs,
you who stayed with me through the smiles and frowns
you who shared all the joy and fears
you who bore with me in the laughter and tears
you whom when I nagged, lent me your ears
you who stuck with me through all these years
you who lifted me up in my darkest hour
you who owns the smile of such great power
you who fuels my every desire
you who's kiss takes me higher
you who held me down when I felt like screaming
you who calmed me down when I felt like pouncing
you 'round whom my world revolves
you whom with my love evolves
you who I give all I could muster
you who could make the sweetest day sweeter
you who in my thoughts thrive
you who keeps this poet alive
you who keeps my world to turn
you for who, every night I yearn
you with whom this artist learns
you for whom, after all these years, the flame still burns
you who have done so much for me in only four years time
you whom I love so great but this artist ran out of rhyme

-Orville "chubby" Basas-

x

2008-11-29T18:24:00.001+08:00

how was it?

2008-11-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

how was it? (life of a pot head)January 31st, 2007 by chubbykins
how was it that life came ti this???
A long time ago… well actually it was just a few years short of a decade. there was a boy in sophomore high school…to tell you frankly this boy has been a pot head for over a year now.
In school he had a world of his own. An island if you will.
no close friends. He had himself and himself alone. but come to the outside of his school and he had affiliations that a child of fourteen shouldn’t have. he was friends with potheads, drug dealers and a hand full of asses that liked to see head rolls…
this was his life. nothing to worry about tomorrow but where to get the next joint. until one of his pothead friends introduced him to a pothead girl.
yeah,they hit it off great. four months latter this girl was already developing a baby.
the most hatefully part of this story
within that four months of pregnancy, this couple still drank, smoked pot andhad an average of eight hours of sleep in three days.the fetus couldn’t take the fatigue.
this guy was ready to start a new, once the kid was born.
this guy was ready to stand on his feet to raise a family.
he was excited.
on the Fourth month, in a disco bar, his girl goes up to him sobbing…mumbling out "may dugo" (I’m bleeding). at first he couldn’t understand…then the girl said that when she went to the toilet, chunks of blood came out of her…this guy was outraged!
how was it!?
how was it that I hope to start a better life, it blows up on me!?
this guy walked out on her and started walking home. it was raining cats and dogs that time. two in the morning, walking in the rain for two kilometers. he had to bite the side of his mouth to keep his teeth from chattering.
he had hoped for a better life for his child.he had hoped he would be a father.he had hoped to struggle for his baby the way his dad struggled for him and his siblings.
two weeks latter, a mutual friend of theirs said she was leaving.headed for Laguna.no. he didn’t hate her.he loathed her.
how was it that it came to this?
how was it that his hopes would have to burn in front of him?
after this event, one of his pothead friends, "boner," came to him with a little less of ten grams of "poor man’s cocaine."he declined on the offer for two reasons; he was still in grief and most of all, he didn’t like the white stuff.after school he went to "boner’s" apartment, with all the other pot heads.when they entered the room, "boner" was lying on the couch face down.they woke him up to no success.it was then that they realized an empty sachet, a piece of aluminum foil and a lighter on the side table…
they checked his pulse to understand.O.D.boner had an over dose.it was then that they were in panic. they called the cops, called "boners" mom and split the scene.
all of his friends split the city. he stayed behind to finish his studies.
it was then that he discovered religion. he found new Faith through a non-government religious organization. but that’s another story.

scream

2008-11-27T20:57:00.001+08:00

scream as loud as you can…February 1st, 2007 by chubbykins
scream as loud as you can
for the ears that hear you are deaf
and the only hand that reaches out to you
is the hand with a sign of rejection.

Have you ever had pain? pain particularly in your head. you get it, oh, so suddenly that you stop on whatever you’re doing just to concentrate on not concentrating on the pain?if you do, then you’ll know what I’m talking about. it’s either a migraine or your demons.
if it’s just a reluctant headache then good for you. but for those who truly been through what I’ve been through, thanks for sharing the pain. and just an advice…be careful…it could kill you.
for those WHO don’t know what I’m talking about, here’s a little insight.I used to be an ignorant teenager bent on the vanquishing liquor, Tobacco and cannabis sativa.my pains were built by my past. my anguish is my consequences for my blissful but ignorant days… my demons.
every time my eyes would hurt, I could see demons tearing each other up to pieces.yup… there’s more than just one.my demons were my personalities when I was on pot, in withdrawal syndrome and my reformed life. and they’re tearing me up to pieces.anywhere I would run to they we’re there. in church, in school even in the comforts of my girl’s embrace…I couldn’t escape.
but let me take you back before these pains. let me take you back to someone who helped me see myself and my unborn child. a lady who made me understand. made me a better man. I won’t put down her name ‘coz’ she knows who she is.
see, all my life as a member of a religious organization, I’ve been praying for a gift that would balance me and my service to my God. ‘coz back then I was serving others, but it was no more fulfilling than watching reruns on cable T.V. fore I was alone.and god sent me the answer- "my gift would be delivered by someone who is most unlikely to say yes to a relationship within the organization."and my lady was delivered.I tried talking to her to make her a close friend. I told her my past. all the misfits, potheads, drug dealers and assholes that I was friends with. I told her my story with my unborn child and death of "boner." and she gave me the sweetest reaction I have ever got from my story(how was it? life of a pothead). she said "so what?"she didn’t care what I was. and all she cared about was now.after that, I started to fall in to a whirl of confusion. I was falling in love.
now loving someone, I thought my life would be much better now. which was correct. but my demons were now more ravage. my pains were more frequent. my attacks and flashes more violent.but I’ll stand firm. I’ll be stronger now. I have something to live for now. I have a lady who promised me theta she’ll hold me down and won’t let me drift away.I won’t break. I have my "anchor."
my demons were stubborn. they wouldn’t let me go. I was like a captain of a ship on its maiden voyage, hearing the songs of the sirens calling me so I would crash into the jagged rocks.but my ship will not move. I was anchored down.
I was sure, with all my heart. I love her. but she wasn’t sure of what she was feeling. but I didn’t care. I didn’t then I don’t care now. fore there ’s nothing that can take away my love for her. not even her.
we were always together. up or down. at first I didn’t give a damn for the people that was saying we were too much of displaying affection. not until the my elders did, our elders.
I thought I found an organization that would understand me. but they didn’t. I was wrong to put too much trust in them. I gave them all of me and they just smacked me down…I was enraged.
I was holding them in contempt right when I heard this. I thought them hypocrites. in doing so O judged them… falsely for I incorporated great leaders in the word "elders."I was wrong.in my rage I held myself in contempt. I decided to give everything up. my leadership, my service, my passion and my time. but then she came nd told me not to let go, fore she was still holding me and she isn’t gonna let go.I decided to hold on to my service. then everything in the organization changed. no more hassle for me. no more iron hands and everyone I was hoping to lead started to fade away.long story short. my decision was stupid.
I needed help, so i asked my unborn child.all that "machete" told me was stand firm. I don’t get it. I’m being attacked from all sides and my foundation is crumbling. how can I stand firm?I asked "machree" and then this rare Carlos Santana song played on air.
hay now, all you sinnersput you lights on, put our lights on…‘coz’ there’s a monster living under my bedwhispering in my earand there’s an angel with her hand on my headsaying I got nothing to fearthere’s a darkness deep in my soulI still got a purpose to serve.so let your light shinedeep in to my homeGod, don’t let me lose my nerve
so I guess I should ask these same people to help me huh??how in the world could I do that?
no matter how hard I scream, their ears are deaf. even though they reach out for me, their hands are marked with rejection.

-Orville "chubby" Basas

high (sex, drugs and rock&roll)

2008-11-27T20:55:00.003+08:00

sex……
..as it is said, it increases life by 10 minutes…it leads to orgasm…a result of to much muscle tension, movement and leads to an explosion ofnerves thus making it relax and the nerves and blood are hyper in ordersupport need of adrenaline and oxygen to the now exhausted muscles.thus giving you a one to two-minute high…and as they say, sex is better than drugs.
drugs……..
and I’m talking ’bout illegal drugs.it takes you to another world with kaleidoscope sequence.it makes you light and fluffy.it gives you the drift to cope with the changes in the environment.due to its hallucinogens, you see the world differently. due to its chemicals,it makes your nerves slow and stops the you from feeling pain.it stops you from feeling tired. it gives you that extra boost to go that extra mile.it would last for 30-24 hours depending on your dosage.and by the time your high runs out you’d be looking for more.thus, making it addictive. it makes you stupid fore it slows down your nervesespecially the ones to your brain.by the time you realize that your life has gone to hell, you’d be toodependent on it that you wouldn’t be able to leave it.this is your brain on drugs… "!@#$%^&*(_?><.,/":2#$@&%$*&*%^&" in plain English… fucked up!

rock and roll……….
its the best thing that I’ve tried so far…its like a Valium that lowers your emotion.when you feel depressed, music gives you theriff to channel those emotions.it gives you the time to cope with realityor stand your ground.it’s like ecstasy that heightens your energy.it gives you the boost to to take another step.it brings you zen. it makes you more in touch with your emotions.it gives you patience.it calms you down.when your mad, you could pick up a guitar andplay your angry riffs.when your depressed you could play yoursad songs.if your confused, you could play a lullaby.it would last for about the whole day.and it too, is addictive.
therefore, I conclude that music is the best thing thatbrings me high. and it feels great.

-Orville "chubby" Basas-

"one Good thing about music, when it hits you feel no pain." -Bob Marley

Reality

2008-11-27T20:51:00.002+08:00

"REALITY"

"Is it realy like this missing somebody?
but you know he’s just there?
Is it realy like this missing somebody?
you see him through the clothes that people wear?"

"When you feel nothing inside
this hurt you feel, you need to hide
People are so happy, with them you ride
sadness, what you realy feel…
you lied"

"The day I came it changed your life
You said you fell in love…whatever! so did I"
"That Sunday night I had to do
To change some things for me and you
I thought this journey will end so fast
But I was wrong, It’s meant to last"

"Here we are starting again
A love that began I don’t know when
Sorry I changed your ways
sorry I made your saddest days"

"I never meant to hurt you bad
I wish that loneliness you never had
Time will pass, I’ll love you still
Be there for you, I surely will"
-from the unpublished works of
Samantha Grace Astronomia--

father

2008-11-27T20:49:00.000+08:00

"nothing can bring greater joy to a father than his child/children…"
the first time I heard that phrase, I thought it was far from the truth…
I heard that long ago from a movie, I forgot the movie but I committed that phrase to memory.
I had been faced with the situation of loosing a loved one. I was about to be a father. I was excited but the would be mother went too much on celebrating and we ended up with a miscarriage. I thought to myself, if I had a child, my mind would be at peace… it would be a chance to think and act for someone else rather than myself. that situation proved that phrase to be true.
I am, what you may call, a big disappointment. I’ve been in college for three years now, but ’till today, I’m still a freshman. my father told me to get my priorities straight. yes, I am a disappointment, but my father loves me. I can’t explain to you the smile he has when I do something right. again, proving the phrase true.
"nothing can hurt a child more than the father…"
I heard that phrase from my girlfriend… just a few moments ago.
my girlfriend is somewhat in trouble these days. for one thing, her grades are getting low. and she has a 40% chance that she’ll be deliberated and found wanting. her father doesn’t forget these kinds of things so easily. right now,she says, that her father barely talks to her. they barely even make eye contact. and that hurts her. proving this phrase true.
I know someone that told his daughter " I can forget you."( now this part is contradicting the first phrase) his daughter is hurt and scared of doing what she wants. she’s even to scared to pursue the profession that she wants. thus making this phrase not only true but lacking. we should ad fear to the phrase.
"I can forget you."
can he??? can he just forget his first born? could he just disown his daughter and forget about her?
If I had a say in this, I would probably be ranting. It’s not right. it’s impossible. a father’s joy are his children. the father gets mad, gets owned by the moment, but no father can turn his back on his children. if he does, I don’t think he’s worthy to be called father. a father is the pillar of the family. and if he turns away, he’s just another sperm donor.
but what about what hurts the father?
really, should we talk about that???
"I will not bury my son… my son will bury me!"-john Q
what hurts a real father is loosing his child… I’ve been hurt as a father. and probably be hurt again. but there is no reason for a father to forget his children. if that happens, he’s just the man from whence the sperm came from.

boondock saints

2008-11-27T20:47:00.001+08:00

June 11th, 2007 by Orville "chubby" Basas
boondock saints is a movie released back in 1999. it’s a tale of two ordinary irishmen placed in an extraordinary situation and came up on top.

two irishmen who killed a couple of russian mob sindicates in self defence was awaken in their sleep to a revelation. "destroy those who seek evil," "so that all good may flourish."
what follows is a seriese of vigilantizm. they hit mod bosses and lowlifes alike. the best bit is that they pray before they hit their mark.

the prayer goes, "and sheephaerds we shall be. for thee , my Lord, for thee. power hath decended forth from Thy hand, that or feet will swiftly carry out Thy command. so we shall flow a river forth to Thee, and teeming with souls shall it ever be. in Nomine Patri, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti."

the last bit was, they were going to kill the Italian mob boss right on his trial. they ended up with the cops and the FBI helping them to get in the court room to carry out their mission. they came and sought out the evil. irishmen out to act on the cry of the public for the execution of crime.
now the public is divided in views of what to think of them. heroes or murderers. but what hit me was the cermon in the first part of the movie…

" we shall all fear evil men. but there is a greater evil we should fear. it is the indifference on good men."

if you think about it, I would see these irishmen as saints for just one thing. they do not ask for your weak, poor, hungry or tired. it is the corupt they ask for. it is the evil that they sought out. they are simply loving and hear the cry of the oppresed. although it would sound crazy killing people for they think they’re carrying out God’s command but the the thing is, they delivered more justice in that one week than the FBI in a year…

"and sheepheards we shall be
for Thee, my Lord, for Thee.
power decended forth from Thy hand
that our feet will swiftly carry out Thy command,
so we shall flow a river forth to Thee,
and teeming with souls shall it ever be.
in Nomine Patri, et Filli, at Spiritus Sancti."

Charlie

2008-11-27T20:45:00.001+08:00

Charlie
January 15th, 2008 by Orville "chubby" Basas

how my life has changed over a few months… life has gotten me to a higher pedestal…
it started as a dream. to be something for someone’s sake. now that dream is slowly coming to an end and beginning to be reality.

my dream was to be a father. to be a thundering velvet hand. to teach what I learned about the facts of life. to come home and let my worries be washed away by a little frolicking angel. to loved and be loved. someone to give butterfly kisses to…

someone to run to me and show me what she can do. someone to make me smile just by her whimper. someone I could hope to be better than me.
and by God’s hand, this dream is coming true…

she’s about six months now and she’s a bundle of joy. and this little angel can wipe away my frustrations, fears and exhaustion… she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and my love.
charlie makes me strive to be better for her. charlie lights up my life. charlie makes me think twice before I do something. charlie makes me want to live. charlie makes me strong. charlie makes me courageous. charlie makes me feel. charlie is my little babby girl.

19 year old earth angel

2008-11-27T20:14:00.001+08:00

on worsening corruption: a call for change

2008-11-21T15:50:00.001+08:00

On worsening corruption: a call for change

In the “Philippine daily inquirer, Nov. 20, 2008, A15,” a paid advertising was published. It called out for support for the five bishops' call for a “radical change.” Well, here's my version.

Yes! The time for Radical change is NOW. The time to rebuild this country's economy and fix the social and political flaws. But you could prepare for “ a new kind of governance” all you want but to change our leaders does not change who we are.

Yes! Corruption is bad for everything. True, corruption does worsen everything but the government is not the only ones responsible.

Yes! Corruption has become a moral and social cancer, but it is not a cancer that the leaders has spread. It is the kind that grew from the individuals as individuals. We know for a fact that we ourselves are corrupt and unjust in one way or another, but what have we done to be accountable? Did we turn ourselves in? Did we want to stand in trial? Were we jailed? I can not understand why we demand judgment for politicians but refuse to be judged ourselves. Is that equality in judgment? If we seek equality and justice, be ready to stand trial.

“The time for national transformation is NOW where all of us must do right as citizens...” As human beings. “Doing right by our conscience, the law, the people and country is a sacred duty...”

“A commitment to reform requires COURAGE” not only to speak out against other's wrongdoings but to admit OUR wrongdoings, stand accountable for all our actions and do something about it. “It starts with self.”

I call on all of humanity to demonstrate their being “human” and have the COURAGE to use the REST of your natural born lives to do what is right. To put ourselves before judgment and endure the sentence. To put humanity, love and peace above greed, power, politics and self.

“We can no longer afford to do nothing” In calling for a corruption free government, change, real change, must come from ourselves NOW!

Humanity, in desperation, can no longer bare our self annihilation.

Look not on the faults and crimes of others, if you wish to change the world, look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, “am I human?”

To scrutinize the deeds and misdeeds of others but consciously hide your every fault is not righteous, courageous nor is it justice. This kind of actions will not change the world nor uproot corruption. It will simply change the officials, their name, voice, height, face and fidelity (if any) to truth.

I call on all the self righteous(that includes me) judgmental and ignoramus to be, ourselves, accountable for our past crimes and injustice.

It's about time that humans adopt humanity.

_Orville "chubby" Basas

twisted metal coffin

2008-11-20T19:39:00.002+08:00

there they were. Enjoying the ride. Trusting in God's grace and the driver. Juan lights a cigarette and puffs on it savoring. everyone on the vehicle was chatting. Juan's mind wanders. He likes the wind in his face and the fast lane. He thinks about what he would see in the place they were going. He thinks of all the fun he was going to have. Beaches, caves, reefs, amusement parks, towers and more.

Then everything goes blank. His sight frozen on the dashboard. He felt nothing. He no longer hear the other voices. All he could hear was the sound of metal crunching as it was twisted and bent. His instincts kicked in but he was frozen by the uncertainty of what just happened.

His hearing returns, but only hears sighs of pain and cries of disbelief.

The elegant bus they were on was called "Pinas" and the train that hit them was called "reality."
"Pinas" was now reduced to a chunk of twisted metal.

Juan regains his thoughts. Pinned down on his chair, he checks to see if everyone was alright. Every one was either dead or dying.

Juan checked the driver's seat but the driver was no longer there. All that Juan could see were a bag of 105,000 euros, empty bottles of liquid fertilizers priced P.728M, a few dead journalists and lefties and a CD with the writings "garci."

Juan stared at the twisted metal that imprisoned him. He thought if this were going to be his coffin. Juan started to talk out loud and asked himself, "Why did I let that four-foot monkey drive?"

Radical change for the Philippines

2008-11-19T19:08:00.004+08:00

"if the good bishops sincerely want radical change, if they really want to uproot corruption, why are they barking up a single leader?"

-Pompeyo S. Pedroche

"The day we feel about the theft of P728 million, which comes from our blood, sweat, and tears, the way we feel about the theft of our wallets and cell phones is the day we start rewarding the just and punishing the wicked. The day we wake up to the fact that the theft of 105,000 euros is related to a child not being able to go to school as cause is to effect is the day we stop having Senate hearings on corruption and malfeasance.
Stop and smell the roses? Stop and smell the gutter!"

- Conrado de Quiros

These are painful truth. Radical change is impossible for one person. Although a person could attribute to change the world. But we have to see the grand design of this tapestry. Each of us is just a single thread. If one is to change, the change would be unnoticeable.

This country has changed presidents a few times already and it seems that they never could never sing in the right key. Now why is that? Maybe it's because we're not playing the right notes. We complain and protest about these "traditional politicians" but have we ever stopped to protest our selfish and dumb outlook?

The truth is, If GMA would step down, (though I doubt that power hungry impostor would) we will still end up with our same selves Looking out for number one. And after GMA is out of the picture, what next? Another politician is going to take her place and we're gonna end up finding another reason not to like him/her.

Most people nowadays are like this, "as long as it doesn't hit me directly, I could live with that." Really? This is our government. The point is this is OURS. We are directly affected because it governs our country, nation and all that. And it is yours.

To change the way we are governed, we should first be changed ourselves. If we are sick and tired of the oppression, lies and corruption, why do we think it's only by the government? Do you not lie to get yourself out of trouble? Do you not sneak an extra minute in your cigarette brake? Do you not keep the extra pesos that the jeepney driver gave you by mistake? Do you try and look for the person who drops their 20-peso bill? Do you not leave your food wrapper lying around after eating in a fast food joint? Do you not download mp3 through the Internet for free? Do you not refuse to give up your seat on the LRT/MRT for another? Do you say you are a student to avail the jeepney fare discount even though yo are not? Have you never cheated in an exam or game in your whole life?

If you answered no to all of these,(be honest) maybe you should be the president then.

I'm not saying that the president is a good person. Fuck it, she's a monster. But if we want change and get rid of corruption, then let it begin with us. Let's not be selfish. Let's not be ignorant of the laws and actually abide by them. Let's not be corrupt. Let's be honest as we want the government to be. That means to stand and be accountable for all the wrongs you have done and not be sore if we are not recognized y the good we have done. But be content with the fact that you are doing the right things, for the right cause in the right ways. So unless we get rid of the traditional Filipino attitude, our hopes to get rid of the "trapo" will remain a fleeing illusion to be pursued but never attain. And the hopes of the Philippines that is free from oppression, corruption and war will be a dream that cannot come true.

-Orville "chubby" Basas

all we are saying...

2008-11-18T19:46:00.004+08:00

let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with us.
Who in his or her right mind would say no to peace talks?

I know of a B!tc# who says no to peace talks and still thinks she is a leader.
I know of a B!tc# who calls her self a president and aspires to be recognized by a REAL president.

She kills for power. She uses her subordinates as pawns in her money laundering, vote buying, cheating elections, and oppressing the people. She poses like she cares for her country and people but could care less for anything that goes on but her power. everybody knows she is behind a lot of killings. everybody knows she is behind fertilizer scams. everybody knows she cheated in the elections. everybody knows she is behind every political turmoil that goes on during her stolen term. but nobody has enough evidence, or those who has got payed off or got killed.

why would a leader deny to talk peace with a part of her country?
is you stupid? the only choice you have to preserve the Peace and the lives of civilians.
the peace talks is a good way to prolong the ceasefire and lower the casualties.
it's almost Christmas and if your ignorant tactics continue, we would end up with a lot of wakes this Christmas.

look past the religion. they are still a part of this country. peace is a universal entity. but then again, so is indifference.

"Lord, that I may see" Luke 18

2008-11-17T19:40:00.004+08:00

"Lord, that I may see you." Luke 18:8

Today's Catholic Gospel struck me really hard. I came across it after reading an article in the "Philippine Daily Inquirer" about the Catholic church opposing the passage of the House Bill 5043.
The article said that the CBCP has come out with another pastoral letter opposing the proposed bill.

The article stated the "killer amendments" of the church against the proposed bill such as "to limit the family planning option to natural family planning methods; delete or slash the appropriations for reproductive health and family planning; discard reproductive health and sexuality education; and remove the provision on humane ans non-judgmental medical care for women suffering post abortion complications." the Catholic Educational Association of the Philippines, as the article stated, will also "be coming out with its own curriculum based on church teachings.

but the CBCP's "killer amendments" are, in my opinion, utterly stupid and contradictory to what they supposedly teach.

First the limitation of family planning options. Like today's "Gospel," "lord, That I may see you."
Leave us the freedom of choice. show us where your God resides and let us choose which path to take or how to take it. In your "limiting," you obscure our sight that we could not see what He is showing us. (and not necessarily showing you) In your restrictions, you are stopping us from knowing the truth. and is that not the attitude that the Pharisees possessed that led to the Crucifixion of the Christ? Hypocrites!

Next there is the deleting of the appropriations for republic health and family planning.
"receive your sight, Your faith has saved you." Do not deprive us from receiving our "sight." Leave us to receive what is given to us. Give us the chance for a healthy life and well planned family.

Then there is to "remove the provision on humane and non-judgmental" care.
Even outside the Catholic community I think it is a universal thought. Who are we to judge and prosecute? And who are we to ignore the needing? I know that church is aiming to punish the guilty (by law of man) and a particular section on the proposed House Bill 5043 section 3 m states to be compassionate to the sinners. Which would be more Christ like than prosecuting.
To condemn a life does not revive the life taken.

Then the CEAP is coming out with their own curriculum of "sex-ed" based on church teachings. Well, I hope that the church teaches what sexual harassment is. And puberty. And lust not as a sin but a natural occurrence in an adolescent body. And view an erection as natural and not necessarily "evil." I hope the church knows exactly what a nude body looks like and how to treat a person of the opposite sex.

I actually find it ironic. to think that a group of celibates that took vow of celibacy making a lesson plan about sexuality and sex dos and don'ts.

I hope Edcel Lagman, author of the proposed HB5043, and CBCP have a sit down and Lagman could shove those "killer amendments" up theirs.

And these words are coming from a teenage parent. Think about it.

-Orville "chubby" Basas

body and soul and death

2008-11-16T13:58:00.003+08:00

body and soul?
is it separate?

when the body dies does the soul die with it?
frequently asked questions. don't deny it but even you have once asked yourself that under your breath.
but what is the answer?
are they two separate accounts molded into one being?

some believe that when the body dies, the soul lives on and others think we all die when the body dies.

if the body dies then our soul lives on as a spirit or a ghost drifting astray in this empty world. some believe the souls are reincarnated. or recycled into other beings.
let's dwell on this.
ghost. many people say they saw ghost or spirits among us. 'though I have my own accounts of ghostly apparitions too many to mention. is it possible that the all mighty creator, some call God and others call Allah, allows these poor souls to wander among the living? why would an all seeing all, merciful and all powerful creator do that? but to understand Him is not what I am trying to say.
there may or may not be ghosts, it is for one to see for oneself. but to die is what I'm questioning.

when our body dies, does our whole being die?

NO! I refuse to believe that a person can die. the only time I believe that a person, both body and soul, can die is when he or she is forgotten.

like Vincent Van Gogh, who still lives as his works are praised and appreciated and thus he is remembered. like William Shakespeare who still thrives in the theatre and every one's poetic side.
like the Dads and Moms that their children and grandchildren remember when they hear her favorite song.
like John Lennon who's views are still rampant in the minds of both the young and the old.

I believe that the body dies and the soul lives on in your works, legacy, thoughts, in what you have made and done.

our soul is forever etched in the things we have accomplished. forever branded in the minds we have influenced. forever present in the songs we have sung. forever there in the hearts we have touched.

in a song written by Paul McCartney after John Lennon passed, "and you are with me now, for you are in my song."

--Orville "chubby" Basas

"happy christmas"

2008-11-15T20:06:00.004+08:00

"happy Christmas"
so this is Christmas
and what have you done?
another year over
a new one just began

and so this is Christmas
I hope you had fun
the near and the dear ones
for old and the young

a very merry Christmas
and a happy new year
let's hope it's a good one
without any fear

so this is Christmas (war is over)
for weak and for strong (war is over)
for rich and the poor ones (war is over)
from the world that's so wrong (war is over)

and so happy Christmas (war is over)
for black and for white (war is over)
for yellow and red ones (war is over)
let's stop all the fight (war is over)

A very merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear

war is over
if you want it
war is over...
http://www.imeem.com/people/WcxY-Rr/music/Gn2GYvPG/john_lennon_yoko_and_the_plastic_ono_band_happy_christmas/
--John Lennon

how I wish it were.
how everybody hopes it is really over.
and not just the war, but the whole thought of being different from each other.

fool on the hill

2008-11-15T19:18:00.004+08:00

fool on the hill

Day after day,Alone on a hill,
The man with the foolish grin is sitting perfectly still,
And nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool
But he never gives an answer
But the fool on the hill Sees the sun going down,
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning 'round.

Well on his way, head in a cloud,
The man with the thousand voices talking perfectly loud
But nobody ever to hears him,
or the sound he appears to make
and he never seems to notice
but the fool on the hill Sees the sun going down,
And the eyes in his head,See the world spinning 'round.

and nobody seems to like him
you can't tell what he wants to do
and he never shows his feelings
But the fool on the hill Sees the sun going down,
And the eyes in his head,See the world spinning 'round

and he never listens to them
he knows that they're the fools
they don't like him
But the fool on the hill Sees the sun going down,
And the eyes in his head,See the world spinning 'round
--Sir Paul McCartney

I just started humming this from the tom of my head...
I didn't notice I was humming it till I saw myself in the jeepney's mirror swaying my head.
then I actually started thinking if there is a fool on a hill somewhere.
someone laughing at the state of the Philippines. someone that the state has ignored but actually knows just what to do because he has a wider perspective than us.

if there is, I hope he'd come down and kick us all in the but so we could wake up.

house bill 5043 (RH bill)

2008-11-14T16:40:00.005+08:00

when I was in the jeepney enjoying my ride home from school, I noticed a big banner. It said some thing about yes to whatever and no to RH bill. ( I really couldn't remember the yes part)
then I thought about the RH bill. what is the RH bill? it is the house bill 5043. “Reproductive Health and Population Development Act of 2008“. and apparently, a lot of people are protesting against the passage of this said bill. and why the hell not? the catholic church protest the passage. oh, come on! have the church actually read the bill? it is not anti-life as you so ignorantly put it. it promotes responsibility as a parent and as a human being. oh, yeah, the Catholic church leaders doesn't see themselves as parents and human being.
have you guys ever thought that the bill is to promote this country? maybe you did maybe you did not. but to petition it not to be signed is not for the church. from what I have learned from school is that the church should have nothing to do with the state. and the church is not God.

for those of you who don't understand, the church thinks artificial contraception should be promoted and thinks the cure for overpopulation is abstinence.
why would they say that? from what I've seen in my days round a certain catholic church and a seminary, students and priests alike have condoms in their wallets. not that I've seen them use it but by the next time I saw them fondling their wallets again, the three piece condom pack has only 1 left. and if they don't like the artificial part, why do they still frown upon euthanasia?
are not the people on life support artificially living?

if we, the people of the Philippines, follow abstinence, it would take more than 50 years till we see results. because not all the people in this country are Catholics. and not all the Catholics attend mass or listen. and not all the priests are are practicing abstinence.

some people actually think that this bill promotes abortion. of course it doesn't. it promotes women reproductive health. and a better tomorrow.
just think about it. if you do practice abstinence and have only two children, do you really think that the rest of the country would too? your two children will be forced to go to school and stand inside the classroom because the students are just too many. they will grow up and graduate and crawl their way to unemployment because there just too many applicants that are more qualified. then you will find your children living under the bridge because there are simply a lot of people living in every land they see. and all because you artificial contraception was not promoted.

for those of you too confused with what is going on and for those blinded by the Catholic church, decide for yourself. here is the full content of House Bill 5043.

I highlighted in red what I think is a good step. and in blue what I thought could harm. and in black as original context.

HOUSE BILL NO. 5043

AN ACT PROVIDING FOR A NATIONAL POLICY ON REPRODUCTIVE HEALTH, RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD AND POPULATION DEVELOPMENT, AND FOR OTHER PURPOSES

Be it enacted by the Senate and the House of Representatives of the Philippines in Congress assembled:

SECTION 1. Short Title. - This Act shall be known as the “Reproductive Health and Population Development Act of 2008“.

SEC. 2. Declaration of Policy. - The State upholds and promotes responsible parenthood, informed choice, birth spacing and respect for life in conformity with internationally recognized human rights standards.

The State shall uphold the right of the people, particularly women and their organizations, to effective and reasonable participation in the formulation and implementation of the declared policy.

This policy is anchored on the rationale that sustainable human development is better assured with a manageable population of healthy, educated and productive citizens.

The State likewise guarantees universal access to medically-safe, legal, affordable and quality reproductive health care services, methods, devices, supplies and relevant information thereon even as it prioritizes the needs of women and children,among other underprivileged sectors.

SEC. 3. Guiding Principles. - This Act declares the following as basic guiding principles:

a. In the promotion of reproductive health, there should be no bias for either modern or natural methods of family planning;

b. Reproductive health goes beyond a demographic target because it is principally about health and rights;

c. Gender equality and women empowerment are central elements of reproductive health and population development;

d. Since manpower is the principal asset of every country, effective reproductive health care services must be given primacy to ensure the birth and care of healthy children and to promote responsible parenting;

e. The limited resources of the country cannot be suffered to, be spread so thinly to service a burgeoning multitude that makes the allocations grossly inadequate and effectively meaningless;

f. Freedom of informed choice, which is central to the exercise of any right, must be fully guaranteed by the State like the right itself;

g. While the number and spacing of children are left to the sound judgment of parents and couples based on their personal conviction and religious beliefs, such concerned parents and couples, including unmarried individuals, should be afforded free and full access to relevant, adequate and correct information on reproductive health and human sexuality and should be guided by qualified State workers and professional private practitioners;

h. Reproductive health, including the promotion of breastfeeding, must be the joint concern of the National Government and Local Government Units(LGUs);

i. Protection and promotion of gender equality, women empowerment and human rights, including reproductive health rights, are imperative;

j. Development is a multi-faceted process that calls for the coordination and integration of policies, plans, programs and projects that seek to uplift the quality of life of the people, more particularly the poor, the needy and the marginalized;

k. Active participation by and thorough consultation with concerned non-government organizations (NGOs), people’s organizations (POs) and communities are imperative to ensure that basic policies, plans, programs and projects address the priority needs of stakeholders;

l. Respect for, protection and fulfillment of reproductive health rights seek to promote not only the rights and welfare of adult individuals and couples but those of adolescents’ and children’s as well; and

m. While nothing in this Act changes the law on abortion, as abortion remains a crime and is punishable, the government shall ensure that women seeking care for post-abortion complications shall be treated and counseled in a humane, non-judgmental and compassionate manner.

SEC. 4. Definition of Terms. - For purposes of this Act, the following terms shall be defined as follows:

a. Responsible Parenthood - refers to the will, ability and constraint of parents to respond to the needs and aspirations of the family and children more particularly through family planning;

b. Family Planning - refers to a program which enables couple, and individuals to decide freely and responsibly the number and spacing of their children and to have the information and means to carry out their decisions, and to have informed choice and access to a full range of safe, legal and effective family planning methods, techniques and devices.

c. Reproductive Health -refers to the state of physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity, in all matters relating to the reproductive system and to its functions and processes. This implies that people are able to have a satisfying and safe sex life, that they have the capability to reproduce and the freedom to decide if, when and how often to do so, provided that these are not against the law. This further implies that women and men are afforded equal status in matters related to sexual relations and reproduction.

d. Reproductive Health Rights - refers to the rights of individuals and couples do decide freely and responsibly the number, spacing and timing of their children; to make other decisions concerning reproduction free of discrimination, coercion and violence; to have the information and means to carry out their decisions; and to attain the highest standard of sexual and reproductive health.

e. Gender Equality - refers to the absence of discrimination on the basis of a person’s sex, in opportunities, allocation of resources and benefits, and access to services.

f. Gender Equity - refers to fairness and justice in the distribution of benefits and responsibilities between women and men, and often requires. women-specific projects and programs to eliminate existing inequalities, inequities, policies and practices unfavorable too women.

g. Reproductive Health Care - refers to the availability of and access to a full range of methods, techniques, supplies and services that contribute to reproductive and sexual health and well-being by preventing and solving reproductive health-related problems in order to achieve enhancement of life and personal relations. The elements of reproductive health care include:

1. Maternal, infant and child health and nutrition;

2. Promotion of breastfeeding;

3. Family planning information end services;

4. Prevention of abortion and management of post-abortion complications;

5. Adolescent and youth health;

6. Prevention and management of reproductive tract infections (RTIs), HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmittable infections (STIs);

7. Elimination of violence against women;

8. Education and counseling on sexuality and sexual and reproductive health;

9. Treatment of breast and reproductive tract cancers and other gynecological conditions;

10. Male involvement and participation in reproductive health;,

11. Prevention and treatment of infertility and sexual dysfunction; and

12. Reproductive health education for the youth.

h. Reproductive Health Education - refers to the process of acquiring complete, accurate and relevant information on all matters relating to the reproductive system, its functions and processes and human sexuality; and forming attitudes and beliefs about sex, sexual identity, interpersonal relationships, affection, intimacy and gender roles. It also includes developing the necessary skills do be able to distinguish between facts and myths on sex and sexuality; and critically evaluate. and discuss the moral, religious, social and cultural dimensions of related sensitive issues such as contraception and abortion.

i. Male involvement and participation - refers to the involvement, participation, commitment and joint responsibility of men with women in all areas of sexual and reproductive health, as well as reproductive health concerns specific to men.

j. Reproductive tract infection (RTI) - refers do sexually transmitted infections, sexually transmitted diseases and other types of-infections affecting the reproductive system.

k. Basic Emergency Obstetric Care - refers to lifesaving services for maternal complication being provided by a health facility or professional which must include the following six signal functions: administration of parenteral antibiotics; administration of parenteral oxyttocic drugs; administration of parenteral anticonvulsants for pre-eclampsia and iampsia; manual removal of placenta; and assisted vaginal delivery.

l. Comprehensive Emergency Obstetric Care - refers to basic emergency obstetric care plus two other signal functions: performance of Cesarean section and blood transfusion.

m. Maternal Death Review - refers to a qualitative and in-depth study of the causes of maternal death with the primary purpose of preventing future deaths through changes or additions to programs, plans and policies.

n. Skilled Attendant - refers to an accredited health professional such as a licensed midwife, doctor or nurse who has adequate proficiency and the skills to manage normal (uncomplicated) pregnancies, childbirth and the immediate postnatal period, and in the identification, management and referral of complication in women and newborns.

o. Skilled Attendance - refers to childbirth managed by a skilled attendant under the enabling conditions of a functional emergency obstetric care and referral system.

p. Development - refers to a multi-dimensional process involving major changes in social structures, popular attitudes, and national institutions as well as the acceleration of economic growth, the reduction of inequality and the eradication of widespread poverty.

q. Sustainable Human Development - refers to the totality of the process of expending human choices by enabling people to enjoy long, healthy and productive lives, affording them access to resources needed for a decent standard of living and assuring continuity and acceleration of development by achieving a balance between and among a manageable population, adequate resources and a healthy environment.

r. Population Development - refers to a program that aims to: (1) help couples and parents achieve their desired family size; (2) improve reproductive health of individuals by addressing reproductive health problems; (3) contribute to decreased maternal and infant mortality rates and early child mortality; (4) reduce incidence of teenage pregnancy; and (5) enable government to achieve a balanced population distribution.

SEC. 5. The Commission on Population (POPC0NI). - Pursuant to the herein declared policy, the Commission on Population (POPCOM) shall serve as the central planning, coordinating, implementing and monitoring body for the comprehensive and integrated policy on reproductive health and population development. In the implementation of this policy, POPCOM, which shall be an attached agency of the Department of Health (DOH) shall have the following functions:

a. To create an enabling environment for women and couples to make an informed choice regarding the family planning method that is best suited to their needs and personal convictions;

b. To integrate on a continuing basis the interrelated reproductive health and population development agenda into a national policy, taking into account regional and local concerns;

c. To provide the mechanism to ensure active and full participation of the private sector and the citizenry through their organizations in the planning and implementation of reproductive health care and population development programs and projects;

d. To ensure people’s access to medically safe, legal, quality and affordable reproductive health goods and services;

e. To facilitate the involvement and participation of non-government organizations and the private sector in reproductive health care service delivery and in the production, distribution and delivery of quality reproductive: health and family planning supplies and commodities to make them accessible and affordable to ordinary citizens;

f. To fully implement the Reproductive Health Care Program with the following components:

(1) Reproductive health education including but not limited to counseling on the full range of legal and medically-safe family planning methods including surgical methods;

(2) Maternal, pre-natal and post-natal education, care and services;

(3) Promotion of breastfeeding;

(4) Promotion of male involvement, participation and responsibility in reproductive health as well as other reproductive health concerns of men;

(5) Prevention of abortion and management of post-abortion complications; and

(6) Provision of information and services addressing the reproductive health needs of the poor, senior citizens, women in prostitution, differently-abled persons, and women and children in war AND crisis situations.

g. To ensure that reproductive health services are delivered with a full range of supplies, facilities and equipment and that service providers are adequately trained for reproductive health care;

h. To endeavor to furnish local Family Planning Offices with appropriate information and resources to keep the latter updated on current studies and research relating to family planning, responsible parenthood, breastfeeding and infant nutrition;

i. To direct all public hospitals to make available to indigent mothers who deliver their children in these government hospitals, upon the mothers request, the procedure of ligation without cost to her;

j. To recommend the enactment of legislation and adoption of executive measures that will strengthen and enhance the national policy on reproductive health and population development;

k. To ensure a massive and sustained information drive on responsible parenthood and on all methods and techniques to prevent unwanted, unplanned and mistimed pregnancies, it shall release information bulletins on the same for nationwide circulation to all government departments, agencies and instrumentality, non-government organizations and the private sector, schools, public and private libraries, tri-media outlets, workplaces, hospitals and concerned health institutions;

l. To strengthen the capacities of health regulatory agencies to ensure safe, high-quality, accessible, and affordable reproductive health services and commodities with the concurrent strengthening and enforcement of regulatory mandates and mechanisms;

m. To take active steps to expand the coverage of the National Health Insurance Program (NHIP), especially among poor and marginalized women, to include the full range of reproductive health services and supplies as health insurance benefits; and

n. To perform such other functions necessary to attain the purposes of this Act.

The membership of the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM shall consist of the heads of the following AGENCIES:

1. National Economic DevelopmentAuthority (VEDA)
2. Department of Health (DOH)
3. Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)
4. Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE)
5. Department of Agriculture (DA)
6. Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG)
7. Department of Education (DepEd)
8. Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR)
9. Commission on Higher Education (CHED)
10. University of the Philippines Population Institute (UPPI)
11. Union of Local Authorities of the Philippines (ULAFI)
12. National Anti-Poverty Commission (NAPQ
13. National Commission on the Role of Filipino Women (NCRFW)
14. National Youth Commission (NYC)

In addition to the aforementioned, members, there shall be three private sector representatives to the Board of Commissioners of POPCOM who shall come from NGOs. There shall be one (1) representative each from women, youth and health sectors who have a proven track record of involvement in the promotion of reproductive health. These representatives shall be nominated in a process determined by the above-mentioned sectors, and to be appointed by the President for a term of three (3)years.

SEC. 6. Midwives for Skilled Attendance. -Every city and municipality shall endeavor to employ adequate number of midwives or other skilled attendants to achieve a minimum ratio of one (1)for every one hundred fifty (150) deliveries per year, to be based on the average annual number of actual deliveries or live births for the past two years.

SEC. 7. Emergency Obstetric Care. - Each province. and city shall endeavor to ensure the establishment and operation of hospitals with adequate and qualified personnel that provide emergency obstetric care. For every 500,000 population, there shall be at least one (1) hospital for comprehensive emergency obstetric care and four (4) hospitals for basic emergency obstetric care.

SEC. 8. Maternal Death Review. - All LGUs, national and local government hospitals, and other public health units shall conduct maternal death review in accordance with the guidelines to be issued by the DOH in consultation with the POPCOM.

SEC. 9. Hospital-Based Family Planning. -Tubal ligation, vasectomy, intrauterine device insertion and other family planning methods requiring hospital services shall be available in all national and local government hospitals, except: in specialty hospitals which may render such services on an optional basis. For indigent patients, such services shall be fully covered by PhilHealth insurance and/or government financial assistance.

SEC. 10. Contraceptives as Essential Medicines. - Hormonal contraceptives, intrauterine devices, injectables and other allied reproductive health products and supplies shall be considered under the category of essential medicines and supplies which shall form part of the National Drug Formulary and the same shall be included in the regular purchase of essential medicines and supplies of all national and lord hospitals and other government health units.

SEC. 11. Mobile Health Care Service. -Each Congressional District shall be provided with a van to be known as the Mobile Health Care Service (MHOS) to deliver health care goods and services to its constituents, more particularly to the poor and needy, as well as disseminate knowledge and information on reproductive health: Provided, That reproductive health education shall be conducted by competent and adequately trained persons preferably reproductive health care providers: Provided, further, That the full range of family planning methods, both natural and modern, shall be promoted.

The acquisition, operation and maintenance of the MRCS shall be funded from the Priority Development Assistance Fund (PDAF) of each Congressional District.

The MHCS shall be adequately equipped with a wide range of reproductive health care materials and information dissemination devices and equipment, the latter including but not limited to, a television set for audio-visual presentation.

SEC. 12. Mandatory Age-Appropriate Reproductive Health Education. - Recognizing the importance of reproductive health rights in empowering the youth and developing them into responsible adults, Reproductive Health Education in an age-appropriate manner shall be taught by adequately trained teachers starting from Grade 5 up to Fourth Year High School. In order to assure the prior training of teachers on reproductive health, the implementation of Reproductive Health Education shall commence at the start of the school year one year following the effectivity of this Act. The POPCOM, in coordination with the Department of Education, shall formulate the Reproductive Health Education curriculum, which shall be common to both public and private schools and shall include related population and development concepts in addition to the following subjects and standards:

a. Reproductive health and sexual rights;

b. Reproductive health care and services;

c. Attitudes, beliefs and values on sexual development, sexual behavior and sexual health;

d. Proscription and hazards of abortion and management of post-abortion complications;

e. Responsible parenthood.

f. Use and application of natural and modern family planning methods to promote reproductive health, achieve desired family size and prevent unwanted, unplanned and mistimed pregnancies;

g. Abstinence before marriage;

h. Prevention and treatment of HIV/AIDS and other, STIs/STDs, prostate cancer, breast cancer, cervical cancer and other gynecological disorders;

i. Responsible sexuality; and

j. Maternal, peri-natal and post-natal education, care and services.

In support of the natural, and primary right of parents in the rearing of the youth, the POPCOM shall provide concerned parents with adequate and relevant scientific materials on the age-appropriate topics and manner of teaching reproductive health education to their children.

In the elementary level, reproductive health education shall focus, among others, on values formation.

Non-formal education programs shall likewise include the abovementioned reproductive Health Education.

SEC. 13. Additional Duty of Family Planning 0ffice. - Each local Family Planning Office shall furnish for free instructions and information on family planning, responsible parenthood, breastfeeding and infant nutrition to all applicants for marriage license.

SEC. 14. Certificate of Compliance. - No marriage license shall be issued by the Local Civil Registrar unless the applicants present a Certificate of Compliance issued for free by the local Family Planning Office certifying that they had duly received adequate instructions and information on family planning, responsible parenthood, breastfeeding and infant nutrition.

SEC. 15. Capability Building of Community-Based Volunteer Workers. - Community-based volunteer workers, like but not limited to, Barangay Health Workers, shall undergo additional and updated training on the delivery of reproductive health care services and shall receive not less than 10% increase in honoraria upon successful completion of training. The increase in honoraria shall be funded from the Gender and Development (GAD) budget of the National Economic and Development Authority (NEDA), Department of Health (DOH) and the Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG).

SEC. 16. Ideal Family Size. - The State shall assist couples, parents and individuals to achieve their desired family size within the context of responsible parenthood for sustainable development and encourage them to have two children as the ideal family size. Attaining the ideal family size is neither mandatory nor compulsory. No punitive action shall be imposed on parents having more than two children.

SEC. 17. Employers’ Responsibilities. - Employers shall respect the reproductive health rights of all their workers. Women shall not be discriminated against in the matter of hiring, regularization of employment status or selection for retrenchment.

All Collective Bargaining Agreements (CBAs) shall provide for the free delivery by the employer of reasonable quantity of reproductive health care services, supplies and devices to all workers, more particularly women workers. In establishments or enterprises where there are no CBAs or where the employees are unorganized, the employer shall have the same obligation.

SEC. 18. Support of Private and Non-government Health Care Service Providers. - Pursuant to Section 5(b) hereof, private reproductive health care service providers, including but not limited to gynecologists and obstetricians, are encouraged to join their colleagues in non-government organizations in rendering such services free of charge or at reduced professional fee rates to indigent and low income patients.

SEC. 19. Multi-Media Campaign. - POPCOM shall initiate and sustain an intensified nationwide multi-media campaign to raise the level of public awareness on the urgent need to protect and promote reproductive health and rights.

SEC. 20. Reporting Requirements. - Before the end of April of each year,the DOH shall submit an annual report to the President of the Philippines, the President of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives on a definitive and comprehensive assessment of the implementation of this Act and shall make the necessary recommendations for executive and legislative action. The report shall be posted in the website of DOH and printed copies shall be made available to all stakeholders.

SEC. 21. Prohibited Acts. - The following acts are prohibited:

a) Any health care service provider, whether public or private, who shall:

1. Knowingly withhold information or impede the dissemination thereof, and/or intentionally provide incorrect information regarding programs and services on reproductive health including the right to informed choice and access to a full range of legal, medically-safe and effective family planning methods;

2. Refuse to perform voluntary ligation and vasectomy and other legal and medically-safe reproductive health care services on any person of legal age on the ground of lack of spousal consent or authorization.

3. Refuse to provide reproductive health care services to an abused minor, whose abused condition is certified by the proper official or personnel of the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) or to duly DSWD-certified abused pregnant minor on whose case no parental consent is necessary.

4. Fail to provide, either deliberately or through gross or inexcusable negligence, reproductive health care services as mandated under this Act, the Local Government Code of 1991, the Labor Code, and Presidential Decree 79, as amended; and

5. Refuse to extend reproductive health care services and information on account of the patient’s civil status, gender or sexual orientation, age, religion, personal circumstances, and nature of work; Provided, That all conscientious objections of health care service providers based on religious grounds shall be respected: Provided, further, That the conscientious objector shall immediately refer the person seeking such care and services to another health care service provider within the same facility or one which is conveniently accessible: Provided, finally, That the patient is not in an emergency or serious case as defined in RA 8344 penalizing the refusal of hospitals and medical clinics to administer appropriate initial medical treatment and support in emergency and serious cases.

b) Any public official who prohibits or restricts personally or through a subordinate the delivery of legal and medically-safe reproductive health care services, including family planning;

c) Any employer who shall fail to comply with his obligation under Section 17 of this Act or an employer who requires a female applicant or employee, as a condition for employment or continued employment, to involuntarily undergo sterilization, tubal ligation or any other form of contraceptive method;

d) Any person who shall falsify a certificate of compliance as required in Section 14 of this Act; and

e) Any person who maliciously en ges in disinformation about the intent or provisions of this Act.

SEC. 22. Penalties. - The proper city or municipal court shall exercise jurisdiction over violations of this Act and the accused who is found guilty shall be sentenced to an imprisonment ranging from one (1) month to six (6) months or a fine ranging from Ten Thousand Pesos (P10,000.00) to Fifty Thousand Pesos (P50,000.00) or both such fine and imprisonment at the discretion of the court. If the offender is a juridical person, the penalty shall be imposed upon the president, treasurer, secretary or any responsible officer. An offender who is an alien shall, after service of sentence, be deported immediately without further proceedings by the Bureau of Immigration. An offender who is a public officer or employee shall suffer the accessory penalty of dismissal from the government service.

Violators of this Act shall be civilly liable to the offended party in such amount at the discretion of the proper court.

SEC. 23. Appropriations. - The amounts appropriated in the current annual General Appropriations Act for reproductive health and family planning under the DOH and POPCOM together with ten percent (10%) of the Gender and Development (GAD) budgets of all government departments, agencies, bureaus, offices and instrumentalities funded in the annual General Appropriations Act in accordance with Republic Act No. 7192 (Women in Development and Nation-building Act) and Executive Order No. 273 (Philippine Plan for Gender Responsive Development 1995-2025) shall be allocated and utilized for the implementation of this Act. Such additional sums as may be necessary for the effective implementation of this Act shall be Included in the subsequent years’ General Appropriations Acts.

SEC. 24. Implementing Rules and Regulations. - Within sixty (60) days from the effectivity of this Act, the Department of Health shall promulgate, after thorough consultation with the Commission on Population (POPCOM), the National Economic Development Authority (NEDA), concerned non-government organizations (NGOs) and known reproductive health advocates, the requisite implementing rules and regulations.

SEC. 25. Separability Clause. - If any part, section or provision of this Act is held invalid or unconstitutional, other provisions not affected thereby shall remain in full force and effect.

SEC. 26. Repealing Clause. - All laws, decrees, Orders, issuances, rules and regulations contrary to or inconsistent with the provisions of this Act are hereby repealed, amended or modified accordingly.

SEC. 27. Effectivity. - This Act shall take effect fifteen (15) days after its publication in at least two (2) newspapers of national circulation.

what do you... no blue!

-Orville "chubby" Basas

brown eyes

2008-11-13T19:23:00.003+08:00

behind closed eyes the story's told
before her eyes the world unfolds
the great adventures the world holds
was seen by her brown eyes

at first the world has inspired her
and thus encouraged her to dream
each day the world has grown wider
and as all that she see or seem

she loves every moment that came
and she reveled in all that she felt
she laughed and she danced in a rain
and laughed as the snow, the sun melt

she faced each challenge boldly
and gets up every time she falls
found a man to make her happy
and built her handsome sturdy walls

they loved each other immensely
and gave their hearts to each other
and the seraphs grew in envy
so they schemes on how to sunder

so once upon a cold winter
in the cold stillness of the night
the seraphs thought it be better
if they took his breath and his might

as she opened her eyes that spring
she saw all the truth and the lies
as she slowly put on her ring
she shook the whole world with her cries

by summer she has given up
and saw the world as so ugly
by fall she has tied herself up
and threw her body to the sea

behind closed eyes, the stories told
before her eyes the sea unfolds
the bitter intents the world holds
was seen by the same brown eyes

-Orville "chubby" Basas

Binay for president?

2008-11-13T18:50:00.003+08:00

MANILA, Philippines—He may be attempting to do a Barack Obama, but presidential aspirant Jejomar Binay may end up being a John McCain instead, said a ruling Lakas-Christian Muslim Democrats official.
Lakas vice president Heherson Alvarez said Binay’s close association with former president Joseph “Erap” Estrada would be a “heavy burden” in his bid to succeed President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo in 2010.
US pundits believe Bush was partly responsible for the defeat of his fellow Republican McCain, despite the latter’s trying to distance himself from the vastly unpopular leader during the campaign.
“It can happen easily with Erap on his back. There will be the heavy burden of trying to explain the Erap factor on his back,” Alvarez told reporters in Malacañang.
Binay, the mayor of Makati for 19 years, declared his intention to run for President at a rally to mark his 66th birthday on Tuesday. The comparison with the African-American US President-elect is apparently because of Binay’s dark complexion.
Alvarez said Estrada’s popularity has been tarnished by his conviction for plunder. He said the pardon granted to Estrada by Arroyo didn’t mean that no crime had been committed.
“Obama was a breath of fresh air, Binay is too identified with the status quo,” he said.
Alvarez, the presidential adviser on global warming and climate change, said Lakas was not taking Binay’s presidential bid seriously at this point.
“He has to prove his mettle as a serious contender,” he said.
Alvarez said his party was still in the thick of deliberations for its standard-bearer in 2010. He said a recent discussion on the matter produced nothing.
But he made it clear that discussion have so far centered on the presidential candidate rising “from our own ranks.”
He gave no names, but the Quezon City Mayor Feliciano Belmonte and Bayani Fernando of the Metropolitan Manila Development Authority have been mentioned before.

-Christian V. Esguerra

--binay has turned Makati around. Makati is beyond compare. I'd choose to live in Makati than anywhere else in metro Manila. Regardless of his acquaintances, he could turn the Philippines around. unlike that parasite Gloria that calls herself the president.--

GMA Ratings

2008-11-13T18:23:00.005+08:00

according to an article on the Nov. 13, 2008 Philippine daily inquirer, GMA ratings were still 'rather low.'
but I tend to disagree with the headline as I see it to be quite general.
If I were to rate Gloria Makapagal-Arroyo, in a scale of 1 to 10, ten being the most corrupt, she is a certified 20. she would have the highest rating in the illegitimate presidents. Just an opinion but I think she's beaten Marcos in the illegitimate presidents hit chart. At least Marcos had the balls to own his crimes. Gloria couldn't even address her extrajudicial murders.

But in the issue of popularity, it's no surprise that her ratings are low. I'm actually surprised that she was able to gather 34% for performance and 31% trusts her. I would sooner trust the pedicab driver to drive me safely than trust her to run this country. I would sooner applaud a monkey playing the drums than admire her playing the people.

but I would applaud her for one thing. and that is her thought that Defensor-Santiago could be one of the International Court of Justice. not for courage nor audacity. but I applaud her for her sheer stupidity and their (both Defensor-Santiago and Arroyo) actions even though they're handicapped.(brain damaged.)

reacting to the article "GMA Ratings 'rather low,' I actually burst into laughter. with the rumored coup, the churches call for radical change, impeachment cases and bloggers uniting against her, does anybody really think her ratings would get any higher?

Our economy looks like shit, political killings and abductions, fertilizer scams, red tape, high crime rates, unresolved Mindanao conflicts, poverty, hunger, over population and God knows what else. the Philippines is in a spiral downfall. and if Arroyo is the president (though I doubt it) she would have done everything to prevent it. but all she has done so far was prevent her downfall and feed her greed for money and power in the expense of the people. she is a blood sucking parasite that is sucking the Filipinos dry.

-Orville "chubby" Basas

the devil's angel

2008-11-12T18:53:00.002+08:00

have you ever danced with the devil under the pale moonlight?
to risk a life away just to drift in to the night,
to revel and bask in a demon's glow,
to try and let your affection for show,
to meet the devil's gaze in empty silent stare,
to teach him how to smile and love him beyond compare?

have you ever touched the reaper amidst the chaos that he caused?
to walk along side this empty soul and not count the cost,
to go high and low for whom who's joy is sorrow,
to give him warm embraces and seek him for tomorrow,
to walk him hand in hand and promise him forever,
to teach him how to smile and love him beyond compare?

have you aver kissed the jackal by his cemetery gates?
to sit and keep him warm while he silently awaits,
to wrap your arm around him as he dances on the graves,
to openly admire him as his lantern he does waves,
to let this creature take you to only he knows where,
to teach him how to smile and love him beyond compare?

-Orville "chubby" Basas

greed

2008-11-12T18:30:00.002+08:00

Greed. the leading cause of crime.
it is not poverty as most people perceive. if you look at it deeper, greed actually caused most of the criminal activities. Pure, raw human greed. the aspirations to be something more, to have more and control more.
greed has caused the rich to want more. after the rich have achieved the highest, they would not want to let it go. thus the rich will proudly step on each other so no one will be higher than them. and they will aspire more to be higher that nobody could reach them. and how else would they do that but by destroying all who are below them. take all the wealth of those too weak to oppose them. thus the rich gets richer and the poor are left hungry and dying.
now driven bu the will to survive, the poor finds a way to satisfy their hunger. they work, they strive and greed comes in. they want more. thus the poor finds more ways to live easier. they do everything humanly possible regardless of the law of man and God. and where else would they steal the wealth but from the people who trampled them.
the rich Stael through politics and loopholes within the law. the poor pillages with blades within the streets. but what chance does the poor have against the towering might of corruption, destructive corporations and influential power?

as Noli de Castro so well put it, "human greed... the race to go beyond previous in come records to the point of overextending capabilities of human institutions cased the near-meltdown of the major financial markets in the world."
but as I see it, it already collapsed the foundation of human living to the point that it is a necessity if one wishes to survive.

"Karma" by conrado de quiros

2008-11-12T18:11:00.003+08:00

[this was the most exciting thing I've seen today. it is really awesome when someone notices the pretentious and tells the truth freely]

MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO has an explanation for why she lost her bid to become one of the 15 members of the International Court of Justice despite the frenzied efforts of no less than her commander in chief to shove her there. "It was a hard campaign, but ultimately it was a power game," she said. "[The UN] keeps advocating gender balance but now in the ICJ there are 15 judges without a single woman judge. This shows the UN does not advance international interests as much as the national interests of powerful countries."

Well, if it so, what of it? Power game is all Santiago knows, power game is all she plays. I remember again her sly comment about why Ronaldo Puno is so malakas with all the presidents. We might ask her the same thing. Why is she so malakas with all the presidents, except Fidel Ramos?

The most dramatic instance of it is her being malakas with both Erap and GMA, who are mortal enemies. With the guy she (and Juan Ponce Enrile) defended from being found guilty during the impeachment trial and the gal she (and Enrile) defends from being impeached today. With the guy she (and Juan Ponce Enrile) drove a mob to storm Malacañang for, shouting "Sugod! Sugod!" and the gal she (and Enrile) is driving an angry people away from Malacañang for, shouting "Urong! Urong!" With the guy she (and Enrile) vowed undying loyalty to then and the gal she (and Enrile) vows undying loyalty to now.

Power play did her in at the UN? Nakarma siya.

But even power play isn't so easy to buy. That presupposes the UN took Santiago's bid seriously, or paid any notice to her sponsor, the most dysfunctional ruler of the most dysfunctional country in Asia, recommending her to their attention. We have only her and GMA's word on it, and they both have yet to show they have a firm grasp of reality, never mind a capacity to tell the truth.

Quite simply, why in the world, physical or metaphysical, known or unknown, would any international body having remotely to do with law and justice want to include Santiago in its ranks? Being a man or woman has nothing to do with it, being a champion of justice or not has everything to do with it. The title of the organization is the "International Court of Justice," it is not the "International Court of Jesters."

What are Santiago's qualifications that should endear her to jurists? In sense and sensibility, in IQ and EQ, in mind and in body, she is no more and no less only than that other Filipino who has the word "justice" tacked to his name: Raul Gonzalez. Would you imagine Gonzalez qualified to judge the world? In fact, would you imagine him qualified to clean your toilet? By the same token, would you hire Santiago to do either one of those tasks?

In fact, like Gonzalez and their common boss, the only thing Santiago knows is to try to look, and sound, important. She is not. She has neither the academic nor the juridical accomplishment, the legal nor moral stature, to commend her to any body that takes law and justice seriously, let alone an international one. On the contrary, she has all the baggage to commend her to the nation as a negative example: Huwag tularan! Look upon her and despair.

I will not go again into her record of power-playing, of defending perfidy and wrongdoing in the Senate. That is plain for all the world to see, which the world probably has. Suffice it to marvel here at the breathtaking heights of delusion Santiago and GMA have reached, imagining they can take their sister act to the world stage and somehow get rave reviews.

It's not so hard to see why GMA should campaign long and hard to get someone who once tried to oust her, and who even dared authorities to arrest her for it, to a position of authority in the world's courts. It should come in handy when GMA is out of power and is being hounded for the "culture of impunity" she unleashed upon this land. Like Ferdinand Marcos, she can be haled to the international courts for it. Like Marcos she can be found guilty for it. Like Marcos, she can be made to pay for it.

Although if that is the case, you have to wonder why GMA should trust the one person who vowed undying loyalty to the president she replaced until he was out of power to do that for her when she too is out of power. But, well, that's another one whose karma will come. And soon.

Meanwhile, you have to marvel at the cheekiness of it. This country has distinguished itself in the first decade of this millennium only for the most unflattering things. For having one of the most corrupt governments in Asia, for having one of the most illegitimate rulers in Asia, and for having one of the most vicious rules in Asia, reviving and rivaling the murder and mayhem of Marcos' times. And yet Gloria and Miriam flatter themselves that they can stride into the world and bedazzle it with their wit and charm, or what they deem to be so. That is not audacity, that is brain damage.

It's almost as if, having gotten used to getting their way with this country, who cares whether the public likes it or not, they have the power the people do not, they figure they can get their way with the world, too. It's almost as if, having gotten used to fooling all their countrymen all the time (or at least most of them), they figure they can fool all the world all the time, too. It's almost as if, having gotten used to bamboozling a people who have grown too tired to protest inanity and iniquity and stupidity, if at all they can still distinguish them from reason and decency and justice, they figure they can power-play the world into submission, too.

As a Filipino, I am deeply shamed that I have these people to speak in my name at this time of my life, at any time in my life. Not all the karma that befalls them will be able to dispel that.

-Conrado de Quiros
the philippine daily inquirer
november 12, 2008

listening

2008-11-10T19:38:00.002+08:00

in a time when the truth could be painful
and the only ears that hear you are deaf
in a place where sorrow is bountiful
and no beauty nor understanding left
the only hand that reaches out to you
is a hand with the sign of rejection
and the only thing left for you to do
is to give up life, A hard decision
you took your life without understanding
you took away from this world your beauty
you left us alone in the dark, crawling
without you this world is much more ugly

I'm sorry but I couldn't see how
a death of a beauty could be a gain
now that you are gone, what do we do now
your death have not eased our saddness and pain
now we're alone with more sorrow to bare
you took yourself away from all of us
now, we understand, your sorrow we share
we face it alone, may you watch over us
in a time when the truth is painful
and the only ears that hear you are deaf
in a place where sorrow is bountiful
and the only hand that reaches out to us
is the hand of a friend that always was...
...listening.

we were always listening. you just
didn't want us to hear you.

-Orville "chubby" Basas

an artist's death

2008-11-10T19:01:00.004+08:00

with no ounce of strength, I laid full length
staring at the roof of the church
I notice the flapping, of a maya bird choosing
which chandelier she should perch
and I hear a man talking, to an audience sobbing
speaking like he had something to preach
I laid there still, getting my fill
of life's stories he wanted to teach
but I lost concentration, by the maya bird's action
she has perched on my casket's door
then I saw mother crying, my father denying
and my lover stood fast on the floor
you can see she is strong, I knew her for so long
but she's saddened for her artist is no more
II
'though I am gone, I knew I'd live on
through my work, my art and my song
then I remember, in one September
my work, someone done me wrong
I thought I would live, through the poems I leave
and thought all would know to whom it belong
those words were my life, my joy and my strife
but he took them and passed it as his own
I guess it dies with me, my name, art and beauty
and everything I've done and shown
so where's my art now, he stole my work, and how
this artist's name will never be known
this is how an artist dies, with plagiarism and lies
that is why the most beautiful minds
die alone.
-Orville "chubby" Basas

train-car-bike (stupid driver!)

2008-11-10T18:32:00.003+08:00

around 1pm of Nov. 10, 2008, I was on my way to school when I witnessed a stupid act by a motorist. It was on the corner of San Andreas and Osmen, near a railroad track. our jeepney stopped to let the train pass. (because to race against a train would be utterly stupid) then we saw a blue Isuzu Crosswind inching closer to the tracks. a traffic enforcer or some guy with authority signalled him to stop. Hell if anyone knew what the driver was thinking. Maybe he thought it was a corrupt enforcer so he drove on ignoring the signal.
then slam! Right at the center of the Isuzu crosswind. the train threw the car sideways out of the way. And the train chugged along its way.
a lot of people rushed to help the driver. Most just stood and stared. I almost laughed out loud because of the stupid driver. I honestly think it serves him right. But I stopped myself when I heard my fellow passenger say that there was a lady on a bike. then I saw the bike under the car. I couldn't see anything more because the crowed grew thicker.
I really don't know if anyone died. I guess I'll have to see in the newspapers tomorrow. But thoughts played in my mind.
the driver could have survived if he had his seat belt on. He could only have had minor injuries. But what of the lady. the car flew maybe six, seven feet off the ground and could have easily crushed that lady on the bike. Fuck the driver. It was his fault he got into this mess. But the lady was minding her own business. minding her place. She wasn't racing against the train.
I really don't care about the driver. He was behind the wheel. He drove forward despite of the warnings. He could die and go to hell for all I care. reckless imprudence resulting to homicide.
But the lady was innocently riding a bike. Ignorant of that stupid driver.
Then I thought of how she would look like before the accident. How old was she? Did she have a boyfriend or a husband? did she have kids? and if yes, how many? Could she sing, dance and play an instrument? Could she draw? How hard could she laugh with a good joke? How would her family react?

America

2008-11-08T20:26:00.004+08:00

war against terrorism by the American idiots.

have you Morons not realize that you are turning into terrorists?
your impulse is to bomb Afghanistan because of a suspicion of terrorist activity but the keyword is "suspicion".
you are killing civilians. the kind of people that were in the Twin Towers. do you remember?
the difference is that they used planes, you used military planes armed with missiles.
"I can confirm that civilians have been killed. There are many casualties, but I cannot say at this stage how many,"-Kandahar governor Rahmatullah Raufi

it was a wedding party you dumb sons of bitches! you are killing more innocent civilians than terrorists.

" By bombing Afghanistan, the war against terrorism cannot be won "

President Hamid Karzai

and don't try to deny it and blame it on Taliban. the terrorist forces don't have that kind of military power. and one of your own admitted in killing civilians.

"If innocent people were killed in this operation, we apologize and express our condolences to the families and the people of Afghanistan," - U.S. forces spokesman Commander Jeff Bender

"if?!"
what do you mean "If?!" you bombed a wedding party! and that's not even the first wedding party you crashed! of course there were civilians! it was a wedding party!

so if I made a vow to kill terrorist, I would go for the biggest terrorist I know...
America. And if America is against terrorism, they should go kill themselves.

don't you get your flaw in this bombing business? you're not stopping terrorism, you're fueling it.
if I were an Afghan and my family were in that wedding party you just bombed, I curse you and say "you kill my family, I will kill your countrymen!" you know, like an eye for an eye. and that would mean I would be a terrorist then and Hi-jack a plane to take my revenge.

to Obama: good luck to you in making a change for America. the previous administration just killed over 4,000 people in Afghanistan, a third of that were innocent civilians and most likely the family of those victims hate your country now. I hate your country now.

hope you could end these massacres. it's stupid really. someone bombs you, you bomb someone you thought did it and they bomb you and you retaliate...
this shit could go on forever.

an eye for an eye just leads to more blindness.

"My first demand from the U.S. president, when he takes office, would be to end civilian casualties in Afghanistan and take the war to places where there are terrorist nests and training centres," Karzai

may Obama listen to these cries and do what is right. and punish those idiots who killed all those civilians. may God or Allah or what ever name you call Him by, Bless Afghanistan and bring suitable punishment to the American oppressors.

self portrait

2008-11-04T16:01:00.000+08:00

earth angel sketch

2008-11-04T15:50:00.000+08:00

songs on loose sheets of paper

2008-11-04T14:35:00.001+08:00

Songs on loose sheets of paper
.
there, lies dreams scattered on the floor
dreams of love, living, making love and more
all for one on a distant shore
songs of two souls that are intertwined to the core
.
it makes his heart flutter to hear the words she writes
that he smiles and ignores all the stars fall through the nights
she wrote great songs worthy of bright lights
yet she sings them only to him and brings him to great heights
.
she sings like an angel, with a smile she shakes
she sings of lullabies and the loneliness she takes
she sings of dreams, for him to be there when she wakes
now that they are apart, this songwriter aches
.
she sings of when again their hearts will meet;
she sings of what to say when she sees him on the street;
of his love, scent, hugs, his warmth and heat.
And she writes songs and all, sheet after sheet after sheet.
.
and she ends up missing the one she sings for
and she longs to be with him on that same shore
and all her songs of dreams, Love and more
remains scattered on loose sheets on her bedroom floor.
-Orville “chubby” Basas

on bended knee

2008-11-04T14:34:00.001+08:00

On Bended Knee
.
you say you gave it all to her,
devotion, love, and all you could muster
you showed us that you love her more
more than any of us could ever
but how long must this chaos go on?
.
you showered her with everything
but mostly not enough affection
you carried her off on your valiant wing
but you crave all her attention
infatuation is not what love could grow on
.
you took her away from our cruel world
and forbid her to laugh or speak
you say her mind we have whirled
but i say your love is weak
you self righteous king, step down from her throne
.
we have once together fought for her
for her freedom from love oppressing
you said you'll stop the falling tear
but now you are the one who's causing
we thought you could make her well. Were we wrong?
.
friend, as a friend on bended knee
why do you treat her so wrong?
You revel in her selfishly
that she lost her flight and her song.
Do you know that every night she cries alone?
.
you told us all you love her
but now it seems she's your pet
we thought you could do her better
we ask to free her from the cage you have set
do you know she tries to fix it? She tries alone.
.
you are so comfortably glad
that she follows your every whim
but I ask you young lad
wake up from your absurd dream
do you know she loves you? She's loving alone.
.
you love her, we know
and she loves you the same
treat her better, don't give her woe
give her your trust, not suspicious game
do better for her if you don't want to be left alone.

-Orville "chubby" Basas

sublime intoxication of the nefarious seven

2008-11-04T14:33:00.000+08:00

Sublime Intoxication of the Nefarious Seven

vane
I am great power, I do what has to be done
all my enemies cower, I, the strongest one
I posses great wisdom, I am my father’s son
Geniuses hail me, I am brighter than the sun
I traveled all the land, I face each challenge bold
I am the wealthiest, I own your weight in gold
hail me as the greatest and my beauty will unfold

Carny -
I see her as the day goes by, I, in the shadow
watch as she struts her thighs, her, all I want to borrow
I long to touch her, give sweet caress and hold her tight
to kiss her lips, feel her breast and touch through the night
to feel her weight to feel her skin to kiss her all over
for her to want me give her body as I want her
to hold her against the wall and be my second lover

Glut
I have finished a banquette of a glorious meal, boy
and now I walk back- back to the table, what a joy
bring me wine, boy, I find myself wanting more
you have served me seven, all gone, it was all a bore
send me more wine, more plates of meat, fish, bread and all
hurry, boy! Hurry! I am still hungry! Run don’t fall
keep them coming, I shall be wanting ’till I’m full

Grudge
how could you do this!?! so quick to cast me away!!
I warn you with closed fists, I will have my day!
I will rise and deal with your wrongs! Oh! You will all burn!
One day as you sing your songs I will take my turn!
I’ll watch you scream and suffer! You’ll see what I can do!
I’ll revel in your death forever! I say this true;
I will never rest ’till I have my vengeance! I hate you!

Envi
I wish I were as beautiful as lovely as she
I wish your heart were mine. I wish you’d give me a kiss
I wish I had her dress, maybe then you’ll see me too.
I wish I could be all you want, as she is to you.
I wish I had her body and do what she could do
I wish I had her eyes. Doe like and deep and blue.
I wish I had her life. Mostly, I wish I had you.

Idle
ask me again later, I don’t want to talk now.
He asked me to get some milk, Do I look like a cow!?
Mom said my room is messy, I think my room is just fine.
My parents are here to serve me. I am here to wine and dine.
Dad asked me how’s school, I said studying is for a fool
he told me to work for my car, I say, why buy me the car if you won’t give me fuel
working is for idiots, my life and my way is cool.

Selves -
I want a car, no, make that seven Ferraris.
I want a tank like those in the middle east.
I want seven condo units with plasma T.V. For each room
I want all the gold from all the pharaohs’ tomb
I want seven planes and seven bikes that could fly
I want seven towers that reaches to the sky
I want all of these and more, all for me, myself and I.

.
These are seven of eight a people I see in society
have I gotten the names wrong? If it should be yours please tell me.
Or just own the damn verse and save me the trouble
If you don’t belong here, then you are so noble.
I said seven of eight. The eighth to my sorrow
I have only caught glance of her, seen only her shadow.
Her name I know not but I seek her again tomorrow.
-Orville “chubby” Basas

pet

2008-11-04T14:29:00.000+08:00

Pet 1.n. A tame animal kept as a companion for fun and affectionately cared for‌ ‌ someone who is treated as a favorite 2. adj. Kept as a pet ‌ ‌ favorite. He’s off to his pet topic again. 3.v. pres. part. Petting. past part. Petted. vt. To pat or caress (e.g. A pet animal) ‌ ‌ to pamper ‌ ‌ v.i. (pop.) to caress someone of the opposite sex in sexual play [origin unknown]
-”The New Webster’s Dictionary of the English language international edition”
copyright 2004 by lexicon publications, Inc"

pet?

The world he lives in is vile and the words he speaks are raw
a world of pure pugnacity, a world adorned by flaws
he was seen as a puddle of mud, a rebel of all norms and laws
...
never bow to authority, thought never to be owned
learned his ways from a repugnant world and his principles from who knows who
he studied life and her art and his abilities from someone, loaned
his ideas are not his entirely, and his words neither false nor true
...
why then would anyone buy this creature? Why would anyone bother?
He is worth not a cent, worth not a sweat if you see him as an investment
go an your way and not set your mind at him. Find another
he deserves not care. He deserves not wealth. He deserves death and nothing pleasant.
...
-Orville “chubby” Basas-

a family

2008-11-04T14:28:00.000+08:00

“A Family”

Life, she is his mistress, he does all that she asks
He goes through all the trouble to do whatever task
Life, she is his mistress, and in his loyalty she basks
Life, to all, seems good, but can you see behind the mask

Death, he is her slave, and she tells him what to do
for whose existence shall we conquer, only she, herself knows
Death, he is her slave, her servant ever true
Death, to all, seems evil and got blamed as the cold wind blows

Woe, she is their offspring, she goes by many a name
Anguish, Misery, Sorrow and Grief, she is known by all of men
Woe, she is their offspring, but her father gets all the blame
Woe, she is felt by all, but only her mother knows when

Grudge, he is Life's son, a master of devastation
whose action are felt and seen by all creation
Grudge, he is hostility, he brings forth annihilation
Grudge, he seems so evil, but blame him not for Life's subversion

this is the family of Life and their work and how she fucks all
nobody dies a virgin, no matter how strong, you will fall
just embrace Life and all her consequences no matter how big or small
no one can beat this, they've been working for ages, just take the pain and stand tall.

-Orville “chubby” Basas-

reply to a bulliten

2008-11-04T14:27:00.000+08:00

to forget the man that you loved so
here are the things I thought would work
I tried it once. but just so you'll know
the things I tried never work

drown yourself in wine and songs
live your life the way you never knew
try to right all of your wrongs
and try to find sombody new.

look for beauty in places you never did
seek yourself and give yourself love
do not go back to places you hid
and go to places you always dreamed of

to forget the love you had for him
love another and be loved by another
and leave his memory like a dream
and you will find some one better...

unles you don't want to forget....

_orville "chubby" basas

cry for the artist

2008-11-04T14:26:00.000+08:00

(this next piece is written for and upon the request by Jaren Dalida
for what ever purpose it may serve her.)
“Cry for the artist.”
Today we live in a world of great progress. A world where the people converse with one another but not necessarily see each other. A world of business and entertainment right at the tips of your fingers. The cutting edge of technology has led us into an easy lifestyle. No more worries on word usage because of “spell check.” No more hassle calculating geometric shapes for architecture because of “auto-cad.” No more struggles on getting the right lighting for a photograph because there is always “photoshop.” I a word, indolence.
Do not misjudge, I have nothing against progress. Thanks to technology our output has become much stronger and our decisions much wiser. But what I speak of is the life of the future.
I know of a child who is only six years old. He knows his way around the computer. He knows the programs, the games, the application and such. I could even say he is a genius. But what about this child’s appreciation for beauty? His world revolves around computers and gadgets that he has not noticed the the beauty of the elephant carving hanging above his television set. He is so enthralled by the “reign of chaos” and “frozen throne” that he has not noticed the flavor of his dinner that his father cooked for him.
I remember a time when children picked up rocks because it strangely looked like faces. A time when a child stood in awe of a star apple hanging from the tree because its color was contrast to the sky’s. Those were the times when even the youngest of children appreciated beauty, love and arts. And These inspired them to be poetic, beautiful, artistic and loving themselves. That was the time of the artists. A time that, I fear, is growing old and slowly dying.
Is this the fate of our children? To drive around that rotunda on a daily basis and not notice that there is a fountain there? To live so fast in an even faster lane and not stop to read the powerful verses written on the pavement by a beggar on the streets?
This world is vastly overwhelmed by industrial and utilitarian arts that we slowly start to ignore beauty. My fear is not the lack of appreciation for beauty but the will to create some thing beautiful and the lack there of.
I am not trying to preach. But I believe we could teach these children. I believe that we could make them get of that computer, “PSP” and mobile phone. I believe that we could convince them to grab a pencil and pad, to write, to scribble, to sketch, to sculpt and to create something of beauty. That a new generation will rise and once again enthrone arts. And generations to come will still heed these thoughts. To create a wave of beauty and arts that will stand as a marker for every man, woman, and child that in them are beauty and poetry. Regardless of what you do for a living, you are artists. And with this, a hope that one day, in this industrial waste land, forever will resound the cry of the artists.

-Orville “chubby” Basas

caring

2008-11-04T14:25:00.000+08:00

“caring”

I wake from of awesome lore
where dreams turned to nightmares no more
and in my days I seek only for
the smile that opened up a door
and captured me up to my core
and ‘though she lives on a diff’rent shore
her smile has relieved a broken heart’s sore

her sweet sincere smile lit up one’s heart
and convinced the heart to again start
to fill its life with wondrous art

this smile so rarely given by too few
was, to this heart, a perfect hue
and given by a sweet dark angel
the heart, of course, couldn’t help but revel
in a smile that was given sincere and true
that the heart couldn’t help but give it too
this is what her smile could do

along with this smile her eyes that twinkle
a radiant face that made the heart tingle
and makes you admire her in every angle

apart from these the way she converse
that made this heart come up with a new verse
she has this way to make a heart fall
deeper and deeper into her all
she brightened up a heart at his worse
a reigning dark angel of loving force
this is why she is loved the most.

-Orville “chubby” Basas

smile

2008-11-04T14:24:00.002+08:00

Smile

I
a sincere smile on a sincere face
has captured a heart deep in disgrace
this smile was imperfact in some ways
but given so perfect like a warm embrace
that the heart once broken and thought never to smile
was made to smile by her unique style
of making a heart unknowingly fall
for her beauty and madness and grace and all
her smile made the heart rise up from the gallows
her smile made the heart forget all his sorrows
the smile given in the most gracefull way
had made the miserable heart’s day
and though the heart wishes the smile to stay
sadly, they both are miles away.

II
this smile has gotten a writer’s attention
who said not to write coz he had no inspiration
but thus the poet is eating his words
as the powerful smile has given him a verse
to write about the smile given to him
and this old young poet wrote another poem.

-Orville “chubby” Basas

she

2008-11-04T14:24:00.001+08:00

she

the girl that I wrote all my heart out for...
the girl I gave my heart to...
the only girl I loved and more...
the one I said "I love you" to...
the inspiration of my works...
the one who said she'll stay with me...
stay through all the joy and hurts...
the only girl that held me by the heart totally
the love of my life...
the heart and soul of the life I'm living...
she was gonna be my wife...
the reason why I'm doing what I'm doing...
the only thing that made me hold on...
she and I were to of a kind...
the only one that kept me moving on...
the one that can make me loose my mind..
the only life I could call my own...
the only one that listened to my song...
the only girl that has made me grown...
the only arm that I felt I belong...
my lovely earth angel of grace and beauty...
...has left me to fight the world alone
...she left me with nothing but my sanity
...she is my heart and I'm dying 'cause she's gone.

-Orville "chubby" Basas

flores para los muertos

2008-11-04T14:22:00.000+08:00

“Flores Para Los Muertos”

One last song that I could sing before I fade to the night
A few last verses I could recite
before I fall from this dwindling height
one last cry of this weary mind before I go into the light

this will be the last of me
it's the fall of Chubby Basas
I've lost the will to write of beauty
and all that might inspire us

if this old play would come back someday
I don't know only God can say
I loved a lot, to one girl sought
she's the one thing that made me love living
but now it's the end of this writing trend
and the poems that I was living

after tonight there is no more
I surrender to life's whore
tonight I close this door
now that there's no one that I write for

goodbye to you to all who read
the written words of my heart and head
the sweet words that my pencil said
for I am now to lay on my eternal bed

and now I offer the last few lines
to the love of my life, who's sweeter than wine
with a radiant face and doe eyes that shine.
I love you so much, earth angel of mine.

So this would be the last thing I would write
Goodbye to all, and to all a goodnight.

-Orville “chubby” Basas

"deejha" rain conversation

2008-11-04T14:19:00.000+08:00

“DeeJha” Rain Conversation

(setting: on the street, under the rain, in a town called “DeeJha.” a parade for a doctor goes on under the rain and love notices his friend.)

Love :what has gone wrong, beauty, why do you stop
and why is your face of dismay?
tell me, beauty, why does your brow drop
and why you ignore my parade?
Beauty:I have fallen for someone, but he does not know
for I tell him not but I know that it shows
I’m unsure of his feeling, and for that I weep
and I hide each night and cry myself to sleep
Love :Has he told you of his feelings, his love for Beauty?
Beauty:Oh no, he has not, but he shows he cares for me
and he showed me one time that he wanted to kiss me
and that we both enjoyed each other’s company
Love :now why Don’t you tell him, that you started to fall?
Beauty:he warned me not to. that could be the end of it all
that’s why I keep it inside me, just ignore it and cry.
Love :but to ignore such feeling is to deny the sky.
why not just tell him, call him and try
Beauty:what if he does not feel it, the love I impose?
Love :well then, dear Beauty, it’s his fucking loss.
fore I tell you truth, and no inch is a lie,
you were meant to be happy, not meant to cry
tell him
Beauty:I can’t!
Love :why not?! Just tell him!
Beauty:I’d rather cry night after night,than to not have him by my side!
Love :Why!? Why would you rather be weeping than your heart abide?!
(silence. Beauty weeps, near Love’s parade)
Beauty:I miss him.
Love :then tell him.
Beauty:this I can not do.
Love :Are you both scared of commitment?
from what I’ve seen he loves you too.
Beauty:He loves another girl.
Love :then what is he doing with you?
Beauty:for three years he has been courting her
Love :three years and still no “I do.”
Beauty:she is what he”s reaching for.
Love :but he’s fallen in love with you
tell me, do you like, want and love him?
Beauty:YES! I DO! IT IS TRUE!
but if he does not share these feelings
what the fuck do I do?
(Love takes her by her arm, looks deep in her eyes and smiles)
Love :then you play Love’s game.

-Orville “chubby” Basas

dream land

2008-11-04T14:18:00.000+08:00

dream land

on this bed I lay, and drift away, as I rest my head
unto a place of radiant grace with no worries and no dread
of life outside, merciless tides nor what has been heard or said
where songs are sung, battles are won and colors green, blue and red
there I await, from heaven’s gate, my loving earth bound angel
she takes my hand, and then we dance to love that we both revel
I hold her so and not let go, and wish ‘twould last forever
two hearts that sings, the joy she brings and love that ends for never
she holds me tight with all her might, that I say to myself in muter
It feels so great, to be in this state this couldn’t get any better
’till the end of day which we danced away that sent our hearts a flutter
she lies on my arm and tries to keep warm and she kisses me deep and tender
and all through the night, under the moonlight, she and I made love
and in the morning I wake to toiling for tonight I return to the land I speak of

-Orville “chubby” Basas

earth angel

2008-11-04T14:17:00.000+08:00

Earth Angel
(to Sam)

I
angel on earth, of splendor and grace
what have you seen on this sinner's face
that you so enjoy my awkward ways
that you so blessed me with your endearing gaze?

II
you blessed me so with your love unconditional
that 'though far apart, you are true and loyal
what do I have that you see me beautiful?
And as I have you, to God I am thankful

III
I love you with my heart's every beat
that if it ever stops beating, to you I will give it
all that I do, every face that I meet
It's you that I think of, from your head to your feet

IV
I always think of you, all day and night
and to dream of you is a glorious sight
to again hold my angel in her radiant light
and with love to you, I offer this write

V
I give you my all and all I could muster
and I'm sorry for all that I couldn't amount for
“I love you so much” my heart thus roar
and the love you give back is more, much more

VI
thank you for everything that you have given
and I know my gratitude needs more to be spoken
please keep this write as a sign or a token
of my gratitude, fidelity, love and devotion

VII
I love you so much with all that is in me
I miss you so much that it's driving me crazy
I love you so much at the risk of sounding cheesy
you are the love of my life; you complete me

VIII
I wish to kiss you and hold you all through the afternoon
and star gaze at night and laugh at the moon
I wish to grow old and wither by your side
that when I broke something, to you I confide

IX
I wish to hold you in a spoon and slowly drift to sleep
to keep you warm and feel you breath and feel you close and deep
the thought of your smile and sparkling eyes, an image I'll always keep
I love you so, I miss you so, too much it makes me weep

X
I love you so much and you miss me, I know
but I'll see you again and that radiant glow (wink!)
our distance on hand is making my love grow
bit i can't help but miss you, I miss you so

XI
I love you, earth angel, with all that I am
I miss you, earth angel. I love you so much, Sam!

-Orville “chubby” Basas

ladies...

2008-11-04T14:15:00.000+08:00

Ladies...

There is just one thing that surpasses beauty
and a woman cannot do without
a woman with make up can look pretty
but men just behold and not hail her, there's doubt
if this creature of beauty could make one happy.
could it make men, at night, reach out?

I know of a lady without those cosmetics
that possesses this trait I speak of
she can entice men to conform with her ethics
and make a lost soul want to love
'though I haven't seen her in days or weeks
still thought of her fit my day like a glove

she has this pow'r, some call it petty
but this pow'r thus made me fall
in deeper and deeper in her, she ensnared me
and for her I'd gladly do all
I have fallen in love again with her beauty
it is her every night that I call

there is just one thing that surpasses beauty
and that a woman cannot do without
like my lady who loves me and knows how to please me
that in my heart there is no trace of doubt
we both have each other, she makes us both happy
and for each other we always reach out

thus every woman should have under her arm
a weapon of such caliber
if they want for a man to share love and keep warm
and give them what they ask for

...use your charm.
-Orville “chubby” Basas

mad beauty

2008-11-04T14:14:00.000+08:00

Mad beauty

When I was roaming the streets of Makati
searching for something to sketch or distract me
I saw a man who has lost his sanity
but attractive, I thought, and interesting was he
I moved closer and closer to see
what he was doing on the streets of Makati
to my surprise what I saw was beautiful
he was sketching Makati with a piece of charcoal
under my breath to fulfill ,y curiosity
I asked him for his name but answered not he
he wrote on concrete, free versed and so full
he wrote a poem with the same piece of charcoal
he walked away for me to read and heed
he left but in my mind left a seed

"My name not important, son, I am beauty
left out to die, neglected by this city
I dedicated my life to beauty and arts
that I found myself deep in broken hearts
I warn you artist, if you seek to survive
neglect not your love, in her you will thrive
she will inspire, you will aspire"

-Orville "chubby" Basas

my love, your angel (retribution)

2008-11-04T14:13:00.000+08:00

My love, your angel
(retribution)

I
Angel, said she, where could he be, my lover?
Will he know my face, will we still know each other?
Is he waiting for me? Is he happy to see
that I finally saw him through forever?
I have waited so long, to go where he had gone
I'm excited to see us again, together.
They journeyed long, no word nor song from angel nor her
no answers given, angel not spoken but of tear
angel was speechless, her mind was restless to wonder
cherubim! She shouted, she she she shocked him with what she said
he turned his head and to her said, my name, where did you hear?
That name to me was given by an artist I delivered.
So long that name not spoken and now from you it's heard.
Tell me how you know this name and artist, in the lady's eye, a tear.

II
“This artist you speak of, was he all of good sort?
Did he speak of love and asked you for your part?
If so he is my lover. If so, he is my heart.”
The angel's head hung lowly, for he tore their love apart
who was he to sunder, wondrous love and art.
The lady then, took angel's hand, and said “you did your part.
Our love is more than life itself, it beats without a heart.”
Now lift up your head, and walk me ahead from this earth
lead me to where my love stands bare in all its worth
you are the hand that mends all hearts in death.
So again they walked, now about love, they talked
'bout arts and beauty and wine, 'till they stopped.
I bring you here unto this place, but woe I cannot enter
Go, seek him there, but not his face, your love will see him better.

-Orville “chubby” Basas-

morto

2008-11-04T14:12:00.000+08:00

Morto

Artist-
what happened to you and your love, cherubim?
Did you not sweep her off her feet in your beam?
I thought, of all creatures, an angel could love.
are you not just love that was sent from above?
tell me, cherubim, is it true that you are blessed
with a great big heart that beats inside that chest?
tell me, angel, have you tasted love divine?
tell me, is it true, is it sweeter than wine?
angel, oh angel, is love all but a jest?
I must know, angel, I loved with all my best
I loved, my dear angel, with all of my heart
and now, her and me, we sadly must part
but tell me, what happened to your love cherubim?
the old man, though dying, felt gladness not grim

Angel-
I am sorry old man, I have no answer
though I am an angel, I know not better
I have no experience to share about love
although I admit I was sent from above
I know not of beauty or arts and its way
to make a heart yearn for someone each day
I envy you, man, although you are sinners
all experts of love, arts, beauty and liquors
I envy you, man, you love one much deeper
I on hand, know not how to love another
I am hated by all, for sorrow blame me
for I take away the one they love greatly
I wish only to love and be loved and more
I'm the angel of death and I am life's whore

-Orville "chubby" Basas

pittyful prose

2008-11-04T14:11:00.000+08:00

You wanna know how my life is here? How I spend my days? Well, it sucks here. I wake up everyday around nine or ten am. I wash the dishes. After which, I stare at blank air thinking of you. It would be great if I could call you, ask you what you’re doing and imagine myself being there watching you do what it is you’re doing. But every time we talk, it seems that you stopped doing what you did when I was still there. I would want to hear the mishaps of your constituents at school and what our friends have been doing, but it seems like you stopped looking and listening to them like we did when I was back there. I lie down on my makeshift bed and wish you would come and wake me up. I imagine your weight as you lie down on top of me and suggest that I take a bath ‘coz I’m starting to stink. I wanna send you flowers and chocolates and gift, but money is scarce here. I wanna make you feel that I love you, but everything I do doesn’t seem to work. I crave to make music for you but even my guitar does not cooperate. Sometimes I wish I never left. I’m thinking that the warmth we have in the present is enough, but I stop myself short. What about our plans for the future. I wanna give you all the attention you deserve but everything I do doesn’t seem to show. I ended our last conversation quick ‘coz I was getting frustrated and didn’t want to say things I didn’t mean. I’m sorry that what I’m doing is not enough to make you feel me, and that I’m not enough to be felt. It doesn’t feel good to disappoint you. I’d be giving it more of myself to make you happy with me again. Although it might not work, but you are worth everything I am and have. But incase you could not feel me though we both tried, it would be totally understandable if you would not stick with me. I wouldn’t stick with myself either. I probably would have never hooked up with myself in the first place. But remember that I love you with all of me ‘till the last beat of my heart.
-Orville "chubby" Basas

lovers

2008-11-04T14:10:00.000+08:00

I
Once upon a time, under a chilling moon
on a dark, chilling night, on the back streets of town
'twas quiet late night, that you couldn't hear a sound
two hearts of one song finally played in one tune
two children of art fin'lly professed to their love
witnessed by silence and trees and the moon above
they grew in love and their love grew much more stronger
that a people grew jealous and brought forth danger
though their love was young, they fought hard and loved harder
that a people whom against them could not sunder
they lived with a thought , and a thought like no other
that to live to love and be loved by each other
and thus another story of great love was born
a great portrait of love that can never be torn
II
she was a goddess with dignity and beauty
he was a sinner, an artist and a rebel
she knew how to smile and to love in all levels
he, a torn vessel, a loner, he was crazy
she taught him how to smile, and again, how to love
he opened up his heart, and rejoiced in all he have
she opened his eyes and made him see better
he gave her all his all and loved her much sweeter
she saw him defenseless and touched him much deeper
he felt her so dearly, he built his world 'round her
she gave him her all and that made him much greater
he was nothing, as he gave her all he could muster
she was all to him, his world she adorns
he loves her immensely, above all the norms

-Orville “chubby” Basas